There have been some complaints. At the complaint department, which, I suppose, is the best place for them.
I didn't cover everyone in the previous post on the Conehead Reality TV series ("daddy, daddy, mee tooo!")
So here goes.
Markley. Markley reminds me of a rabbit when he runs a ball down in the outfield. Now stay with me on this one. There was a forest fire a couple weeks ago in the Sierra foothills, in a magical place called Shirt Tail Canyon. In the late seventies, I used to hang out there. In fact I built a teepee there and lived in it for a summer, and went there weekends for a couple of years. Shirttail was eight miles down a dirt road called Yankee Jim's Road from Foresthill, CA, near Auburn. I would ride my street bike to the Canyon. When you turned off Yankee Jim's Road after a series of hairpin turns, the road paralleled Shirt Tail Creek for a mile or so. One time, this Jack Rabbit appeared before me on the road. He started galloping like a horse on the road in front of me.
Now granted, I was on a street bike. But I could not catch that jackrabbit. He seemed to laugh at me all the way until the road took a sharp left to cross the creek, and off he went laughing, bounding into the forest.
So I figure Markley raises rabbits in his back yard. When he prepares for a game, he is out there in the backyard, in the Rabbit Run, racing Jack. He texts me every game, asking "what's up, Coach?" and one time he slipped and threw in a "What's up Doc?" and now I understand.
Lefty. Oh man now there is a sitcom character. They already made a TV show about him. It was called the Rockford Files.
Here: Play this music while you read on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C8EUrtEhfM
Lefty is not your average softball slut. He has conditions. He gets bored easily. There has to be a lot of action in right center. The game has to be close. If there are more than ten in the lineup, well what do you need him for? He is slippery like an eel. "Are you playing Thursday night?" "Well, I don't know there might be something, how many do we have? Who are we playing?" I think he has an electric eel for a pet. He brings it with him on his stakeouts. He watches it. Takes notes. "Slippery like an eel". The person he was staking out gets away. He doesn't care. He wants to be the eel.
Greg the Knight. Now Greg is just a nice guy. He wouldn't hurt a flea. I can't think of anything bad about him. So I have to make something up. It's called Artistic License. Greg was a prospect in college. Rumor is he went to training camp to be a pro. I am sure he had the talent, but caught some bad breaks. So in his down time, when he is preparing for one of our games, he looks in the mirror, and talks to himself. "You know, you were good enough." And then he answers. "I know". "Now let's go kick some Cal Bronco Butt".
And the thing is, it works. He just comes up and slices balls the right into the gap, and hits with power to left, and makes dazzling plays on defense. So I decided to start talking to the mirror too. And you know what it said?
Pause.
It said "You old fat slob what the hell do you think you are doing still playing all those games? Don't you have a life?" I swear, that is what it said. So I had to finally go and get a job. I start after Labor Day, ironically enough.
Who's left. Chopper. Chopper has had too much press this year for his many feats on the field. Besides, all you have to do is play video of him doing anything, and it will entertain the masses. Pope. I won't do Greg until and unless he comes back to us. I'm sorry Greg, it's just the way it has to be. You have to come back.
And that leaves...Larry. And damn I just can't say anything bad about Larry. It's not because he also is just too nice a guy. It's he is so nice that I have too good a deal living in his place, and I just simply cannot risk that, not here, not now, not nohow. It will just have to wait until our life situations change. You understand. I am a coward, ultimately.
Well there you have it, I think we are ready for prime time. And we showed it in our game Monday against the dread Cal Bronco. Once again we played nearly a flawless game, in one that mattered. We got to almost every ball, and played them in the right places, and Joe fed them pitches that made them hit it to us for the most part and not in the gaps. Chuck made his patented dive on one ball to get an impossible force out at third. Reggie and Craig came up with some stellar outfield plays.
Greg, Lefty, Heffe, and Markley led the way with four hits. Lefty set the tone in the first with a two run triple and it was off to the races. Chopper followed shortly thereafter with a three run bomb; I think he is getting bored, he couldn't even catch me in front of him.
We toyed with them for a few innings, and then Larry hit an unexpected two run soaring blast that jump-started our nine run fifth that completely tamed the Broncos. Don had a clutch two run single to continue it, and Reggie hit an absolute bomb for a three run homer that slammed the door in that inning. At that point it was 20-3 and they were gasping for air. All that was left was the post game beer.
It gives us the opportunity to take charge of our position for the playoffs. It's simple - win two, finish first, get an easier first round opponent. No guarantees in that tournament, but it can't hurt. The story continues tomorrow against the President's Club. There will be a couple of surprise guests, since half the team decided to take the same game off, AGAIN.
Milestones:
Chuck 1400 ab (#1)
Chuck 100 2b (#4)
Chopper 50 g (#20)
Knight 10 3b (#23)
I didn't cover everyone in the previous post on the Conehead Reality TV series ("daddy, daddy, mee tooo!")
So here goes.
Markley. Markley reminds me of a rabbit when he runs a ball down in the outfield. Now stay with me on this one. There was a forest fire a couple weeks ago in the Sierra foothills, in a magical place called Shirt Tail Canyon. In the late seventies, I used to hang out there. In fact I built a teepee there and lived in it for a summer, and went there weekends for a couple of years. Shirttail was eight miles down a dirt road called Yankee Jim's Road from Foresthill, CA, near Auburn. I would ride my street bike to the Canyon. When you turned off Yankee Jim's Road after a series of hairpin turns, the road paralleled Shirt Tail Creek for a mile or so. One time, this Jack Rabbit appeared before me on the road. He started galloping like a horse on the road in front of me.
Now granted, I was on a street bike. But I could not catch that jackrabbit. He seemed to laugh at me all the way until the road took a sharp left to cross the creek, and off he went laughing, bounding into the forest.
So I figure Markley raises rabbits in his back yard. When he prepares for a game, he is out there in the backyard, in the Rabbit Run, racing Jack. He texts me every game, asking "what's up, Coach?" and one time he slipped and threw in a "What's up Doc?" and now I understand.
Lefty. Oh man now there is a sitcom character. They already made a TV show about him. It was called the Rockford Files.
Here: Play this music while you read on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C8EUrtEhfM
Lefty is not your average softball slut. He has conditions. He gets bored easily. There has to be a lot of action in right center. The game has to be close. If there are more than ten in the lineup, well what do you need him for? He is slippery like an eel. "Are you playing Thursday night?" "Well, I don't know there might be something, how many do we have? Who are we playing?" I think he has an electric eel for a pet. He brings it with him on his stakeouts. He watches it. Takes notes. "Slippery like an eel". The person he was staking out gets away. He doesn't care. He wants to be the eel.
Greg the Knight. Now Greg is just a nice guy. He wouldn't hurt a flea. I can't think of anything bad about him. So I have to make something up. It's called Artistic License. Greg was a prospect in college. Rumor is he went to training camp to be a pro. I am sure he had the talent, but caught some bad breaks. So in his down time, when he is preparing for one of our games, he looks in the mirror, and talks to himself. "You know, you were good enough." And then he answers. "I know". "Now let's go kick some Cal Bronco Butt".
And the thing is, it works. He just comes up and slices balls the right into the gap, and hits with power to left, and makes dazzling plays on defense. So I decided to start talking to the mirror too. And you know what it said?
Pause.
It said "You old fat slob what the hell do you think you are doing still playing all those games? Don't you have a life?" I swear, that is what it said. So I had to finally go and get a job. I start after Labor Day, ironically enough.
Who's left. Chopper. Chopper has had too much press this year for his many feats on the field. Besides, all you have to do is play video of him doing anything, and it will entertain the masses. Pope. I won't do Greg until and unless he comes back to us. I'm sorry Greg, it's just the way it has to be. You have to come back.
And that leaves...Larry. And damn I just can't say anything bad about Larry. It's not because he also is just too nice a guy. It's he is so nice that I have too good a deal living in his place, and I just simply cannot risk that, not here, not now, not nohow. It will just have to wait until our life situations change. You understand. I am a coward, ultimately.
Well there you have it, I think we are ready for prime time. And we showed it in our game Monday against the dread Cal Bronco. Once again we played nearly a flawless game, in one that mattered. We got to almost every ball, and played them in the right places, and Joe fed them pitches that made them hit it to us for the most part and not in the gaps. Chuck made his patented dive on one ball to get an impossible force out at third. Reggie and Craig came up with some stellar outfield plays.
Greg, Lefty, Heffe, and Markley led the way with four hits. Lefty set the tone in the first with a two run triple and it was off to the races. Chopper followed shortly thereafter with a three run bomb; I think he is getting bored, he couldn't even catch me in front of him.
We toyed with them for a few innings, and then Larry hit an unexpected two run soaring blast that jump-started our nine run fifth that completely tamed the Broncos. Don had a clutch two run single to continue it, and Reggie hit an absolute bomb for a three run homer that slammed the door in that inning. At that point it was 20-3 and they were gasping for air. All that was left was the post game beer.
It gives us the opportunity to take charge of our position for the playoffs. It's simple - win two, finish first, get an easier first round opponent. No guarantees in that tournament, but it can't hurt. The story continues tomorrow against the President's Club. There will be a couple of surprise guests, since half the team decided to take the same game off, AGAIN.
Milestones:
Chuck 1400 ab (#1)
Chuck 100 2b (#4)
Chopper 50 g (#20)
Knight 10 3b (#23)
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