It was revealed that I use a private laptop for my blog, and this is a breach of National Security.
The stats have been compromised, and they have shown up in a former Politburo bunker in Moscow. Who knows what the Russians will do with this information, but since Wikileaks made them public, and the FBI stated that we were under investigation, Cream and Clear and other teams in our league somehow seemed to know where were were going to hit before even we did.
It started two weeks before the playoffs. After starting the season 6-0, including beating Cream and Clear our chief rival twice, we came up short against Pat's Bats. We brushed it off - after all we had already clinched the number 1 seed for the playoffs. Then the league decided to skip playing on Halloween. All those millennials with their tiny tots had to take their precious candy grubbers across the neighborhoods extorting sweets from their helpless neighbors. We all know this was a clear ploy to break our momentum, as most of us are closer to Grampa age than toddler parent age. And, since no kids showed up at my door, I had to eat all the Snickers and M&Ms and Butterfingers myself, getting even fatter in the process.
Then there was the Wall they wanted to build at the Caldicott Tunnel. Isn't it a little suspicious our players on the other side of the tunnel were our two African-Americans, Ol' G and Sting, and the other is that noted Anarchist/Democrat Lefty? The final straw was when they wanted to outlaw all players not born in California. You think that it is a coincidence that the Conehead Managers were born in Brooklyn and St. Louis, respectively? Lock 'em up!
I'm writing this from Mexico, where I landed after being tossed 'over the wall'. Joe is in the hut next to me; Derek, who declared himself "Mr. Conehead for Life" is your new coach. Good luck in the coming years.
As it turned out, conspiracy theories aside, we just really didn't show up for the playoffs. Perhaps we are getting old; I happen not to think that is it. More likely we just need to step up our focus. We have a lot of talent and chemistry on the Coneheads, but that alone cannot always produce a winner, especially in the playoffs, and especially when everyone is gunning for us.
We just didn't hit. It could have been worse; we had a tremendous comeback in game one against the Hawks in Game 1 to avoid going two and out. We were flatter than a pancake and trailing 11-6 going into the bottom of the seventh. The bottom of the order picked us up. We started out with singles by Chopper, Heffe, and Johnny, then a double by Gene, and another single by Larry to turn over the lineup. Randy singled, and after a ground out, Pope knocked in the game tying and winning runs on a walkoff hit.
As it turned out that was pretty much the last highlight. We did have another comeback rally against Pat's Bats to remain alive winning 10-8, fueled by clutch two out hits from Patrick, Chuck, and Ol' G. However, in the last three games we had exactly two extra base hits, and they were 'only' doubles. Worse than that was we never really had the Conehead inning that we are famous for, where we don't even need extra base hits (but usually get a couple) because we string together ten or twelve straight knocks. This year, especially against Cream and Clear, it just wasn't to be.
Silver lining - even though we slumped for the last month, we still made the championship game. We'll be back.
It's tough to cite the MVP on the loser side, but I have to mention that Johnny single-handedly tried to defy our under-performance. He was on fire, and ended up 8 for 9 in the playoffs, and tied for the team lead in RBIs despite hitting near the bottom of the lineup.
Pope was runner up. He was down on himself after his first at bat, and even requested to be moved down in the order. But when he hit a little Heffe blooper into shallow left his next time up, I told him that would be all it took to shake his slump. He proceeded to go 10 for 11 the rest of the way, including that walkoff hit.
Lefty led the team in extra base hits and also walks in his leadoff role, and Knight tied Johnny for the team lead in RBIs.
Keep the faith. If we manage to survive the Trump presidency all is possible. Although I like our chances of winning another title better.
Milestones:
The stats have been compromised, and they have shown up in a former Politburo bunker in Moscow. Who knows what the Russians will do with this information, but since Wikileaks made them public, and the FBI stated that we were under investigation, Cream and Clear and other teams in our league somehow seemed to know where were were going to hit before even we did.
It started two weeks before the playoffs. After starting the season 6-0, including beating Cream and Clear our chief rival twice, we came up short against Pat's Bats. We brushed it off - after all we had already clinched the number 1 seed for the playoffs. Then the league decided to skip playing on Halloween. All those millennials with their tiny tots had to take their precious candy grubbers across the neighborhoods extorting sweets from their helpless neighbors. We all know this was a clear ploy to break our momentum, as most of us are closer to Grampa age than toddler parent age. And, since no kids showed up at my door, I had to eat all the Snickers and M&Ms and Butterfingers myself, getting even fatter in the process.
Then there was the Wall they wanted to build at the Caldicott Tunnel. Isn't it a little suspicious our players on the other side of the tunnel were our two African-Americans, Ol' G and Sting, and the other is that noted Anarchist/Democrat Lefty? The final straw was when they wanted to outlaw all players not born in California. You think that it is a coincidence that the Conehead Managers were born in Brooklyn and St. Louis, respectively? Lock 'em up!
I'm writing this from Mexico, where I landed after being tossed 'over the wall'. Joe is in the hut next to me; Derek, who declared himself "Mr. Conehead for Life" is your new coach. Good luck in the coming years.
As it turned out, conspiracy theories aside, we just really didn't show up for the playoffs. Perhaps we are getting old; I happen not to think that is it. More likely we just need to step up our focus. We have a lot of talent and chemistry on the Coneheads, but that alone cannot always produce a winner, especially in the playoffs, and especially when everyone is gunning for us.
We just didn't hit. It could have been worse; we had a tremendous comeback in game one against the Hawks in Game 1 to avoid going two and out. We were flatter than a pancake and trailing 11-6 going into the bottom of the seventh. The bottom of the order picked us up. We started out with singles by Chopper, Heffe, and Johnny, then a double by Gene, and another single by Larry to turn over the lineup. Randy singled, and after a ground out, Pope knocked in the game tying and winning runs on a walkoff hit.
As it turned out that was pretty much the last highlight. We did have another comeback rally against Pat's Bats to remain alive winning 10-8, fueled by clutch two out hits from Patrick, Chuck, and Ol' G. However, in the last three games we had exactly two extra base hits, and they were 'only' doubles. Worse than that was we never really had the Conehead inning that we are famous for, where we don't even need extra base hits (but usually get a couple) because we string together ten or twelve straight knocks. This year, especially against Cream and Clear, it just wasn't to be.
Silver lining - even though we slumped for the last month, we still made the championship game. We'll be back.
It's tough to cite the MVP on the loser side, but I have to mention that Johnny single-handedly tried to defy our under-performance. He was on fire, and ended up 8 for 9 in the playoffs, and tied for the team lead in RBIs despite hitting near the bottom of the lineup.
Pope was runner up. He was down on himself after his first at bat, and even requested to be moved down in the order. But when he hit a little Heffe blooper into shallow left his next time up, I told him that would be all it took to shake his slump. He proceeded to go 10 for 11 the rest of the way, including that walkoff hit.
Lefty led the team in extra base hits and also walks in his leadoff role, and Knight tied Johnny for the team lead in RBIs.
Keep the faith. If we manage to survive the Trump presidency all is possible. Although I like our chances of winning another title better.
Milestones:
11/7
Game 1:
D 50 bb (#11)
Lefty 30 bb (#15)
Randy 200 ab (#25)
Game 1:
D 50 bb (#11)
Lefty 30 bb (#15)
Randy 200 ab (#25)
Game 2:
Joe 450 g (#2)
11/14
Game 1:
Sting 850 ab (#11)
Game 2:
Lefty 50 2b (#16)
