It Was Rigged!

It was revealed that I use a private laptop for my blog, and this is a breach of National Security.

The stats have been compromised, and they have shown up in a former Politburo bunker in Moscow. Who knows what the Russians will do with this information, but since Wikileaks made them public, and the FBI stated that we were under investigation, Cream and Clear and other teams in our league somehow seemed to know where were were going to hit before even we did.

It started two weeks before the playoffs. After starting the season 6-0, including beating Cream and Clear our chief rival twice, we came up short against Pat's Bats. We brushed it off - after all we had already clinched the number 1 seed for the playoffs. Then the league decided to skip playing on Halloween. All those millennials with their tiny tots had to take their precious candy grubbers across the neighborhoods extorting sweets from their helpless neighbors. We all know this was a clear ploy to break our momentum, as most of us are closer to Grampa age than toddler parent age. And, since no kids showed up at my door, I had to eat all the Snickers and M&Ms and Butterfingers myself, getting even fatter in the process.

Then there was the Wall they wanted to build at the Caldicott Tunnel. Isn't it a little suspicious our players on the other side of the tunnel were our two African-Americans, Ol' G and Sting, and the other is that noted Anarchist/Democrat Lefty? The final straw was when they wanted to outlaw all players not born in California. You think that it is a coincidence that the Conehead Managers were born in Brooklyn and St. Louis, respectively? Lock 'em up!

I'm writing this from Mexico, where I landed after being tossed 'over the wall'. Joe is in the hut next to me; Derek, who declared himself "Mr. Conehead for Life" is your new coach. Good luck in the coming years.

As it turned out, conspiracy theories aside, we just really didn't show up for the playoffs. Perhaps we are getting old; I happen not to think that is it. More likely we just need to step up our focus. We have a lot of talent and chemistry on the Coneheads, but that alone cannot always produce a winner, especially in the playoffs, and especially when everyone is gunning for us.

We just didn't hit. It could have been worse; we had a tremendous comeback in game one against the Hawks in Game 1 to avoid going two and out. We were flatter than a pancake and trailing 11-6 going into the bottom of the seventh. The bottom of the order picked us up. We started out with singles by Chopper, Heffe, and Johnny, then a double by Gene, and another single by Larry to turn over the lineup. Randy singled, and after a ground out, Pope knocked in the game tying and winning runs on a walkoff hit.

As it turned out that was pretty much the last highlight. We did have another comeback rally against Pat's Bats to remain alive winning 10-8, fueled by clutch two out hits from Patrick, Chuck, and Ol' G. However, in the last three games we had exactly two extra base hits, and they were 'only' doubles. Worse than that was we never really had the Conehead inning that we are famous for, where we don't even need extra base hits (but usually get a couple) because we string together ten or twelve straight knocks. This year, especially against Cream and Clear, it just wasn't to be.

Silver lining - even though we slumped for the last month, we still made the championship game. We'll be back.

It's tough to cite the MVP on the loser side, but I have to mention that Johnny single-handedly tried to defy our under-performance. He was on fire, and ended up 8 for 9 in the playoffs, and tied for the team lead in RBIs despite hitting near the bottom of the lineup.

Pope was runner up. He was down on himself after his first at bat, and even requested to be moved down in the order. But when he hit a little Heffe blooper into shallow left his next time up, I told him that would be all it took to shake his slump. He proceeded to go 10 for 11 the rest of the way, including that walkoff hit.

Lefty led the team in extra base hits and also walks in his leadoff role, and Knight tied Johnny for the team lead in RBIs.

Keep the faith. If we manage to survive the Trump presidency all is possible. Although I like our chances of winning another title better.

Milestones:

11/7
Game 1:
D                50 bb (#11)
Lefty          30 bb (#15)
Randy        200 ab (#25)

Game 2:

Joe             450 g (#2)

11/14

Game 1:

Sting          850 ab (#11)

Game 2:

Lefty         50 2b (#16)

The Top Ten List

Remember David Letterman? Here's my Top Ten List of Positives from tonight's Conehead game...

10. No one struck out.
9. No one got hurt.
8. Along the same lines, that nasty hop in front of Ol' G did NOT rise up and hit him in his teeth or between his eyes.
7. Even though we were NO HIT through four innings, we BUSTED out for all of SEVEN hits in the last three innings.
6. Even though we did not have a hit in the first time through the line up, Randy at the top and Larry at the bottom did coax walks out of Pat's Bats' pitcher. Now those are team players.
5. Even though we hit into two double plays, wiping out two of those hits, we did not hit into ANY triple plays.
4. Despite Chopper's imploring Joe to give a coach's speech to inspire us, Joe held off, saying he would give it next week - so we still have that to look forward to.
3. The ground caused Pope to drop what would have been a great catch, and similarly, Reggie's knee knocked the ball out of his glove on what would have been another difficult catch - these things can't happen two weeks in a row.
2. Chopper had an off game - he looked lost out there. But we identified the reason, namely that Lisa missed the game.As long as we get her out there for the playoffs, he'll be himself.

And the number one positive that came out of the game tonight, a 10-3 loss to Pat's Bats, was that we still had beer after the game, and even though we talked politics over beers, Derek and I did not come to blows over Trump and Clinton. He still has not come to his senses, however.

Next week off to give out candy on Halloween. Then the playoffs, and we are still the team to beat, and we got our bad game out of our collective systems.

Milestones:
10/10
Johnny        100 ab (#32)

10/24
Larry          140 bb (#2)

The Engine That Could

A couple of weeks ago, Reggie cracked me up in the Conehead dugout as we watched Chopper chugging and huffing and puffing around the bases on a home run, when he said, "He's like the Little Engine that Could...I think I can, I think I can (first base), I think I can, I think I can, (second base), I think I can, I think I can (third base), I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could (home)." I was rolling off the bench with laughter.

That was the big blow, a three run bomb that put Pat's Bats away in our eight run Conehead fifth inning. We ended up trouncing the Bats that night 16-5, putting them further in our rear view mirror.

While the team was knocking on Good Wood (and Larry presented the win in a much more timely fashion), I had a couple of days off softball doing the 'Wild Hog' thing. Here is proof:

...although you can't even see my bike... (it's off to the right)

Last week's game was a Wally Pipp Special - Johnny took G's place, and had a stellar game at the plate and in the field. He was part of two DPs, and his turn and throw on a feed from Randy at short looked very professional. Like they had been doing it for years - wait they have, only against us on the Old Scouts in Orinda.

Plus Johnny had the hit of the game - a two run triple in the second inning that put us ahead to stay as we had the first of three mini-Conehead  innings, in the 2nd, 6th, and 7th.

Other Pipp moments - Knight takes Randy's place for an inning and makes a tough play. Greg had a season high seven RBIs on four hits.

After Larry pitches a great game through 6 innings (one run), D shuts down the Dusty Nuts in the seventh, final score 20-1.

And of course - Joe who? With Joe enjoying honey cake and other treats of Rosh Hashanah, I filled in as Coach for a day. Looks like I will finish the season 1-0 as we won by our largest margin in a while. We made no, as in zero errors, I take full credit for putting the right guys in the right positions.

Ok, granted it was against the weakest team in the league by far, and I had nothing to do with our team playing such good defense, or three hit games from Randy and Pope (minicycle) and Gene and Johnny and Larry, and Larry had them hitting almost all routine flies and grounders.

But no Stink Eye, 20-1. Just the facts.

We are the Engine that Could, once again. It starts tomorrow as we face Cream and Clear for bragging rights and first place seed for the playoffs. Should be fun.

Milestones:
9/19
Larry       1350 ab (#3)
Lefty        20 sf (#14)

9/26
Knight      40 2b (#18)
Knight      300 ab (#21)
Randy      100 r (#23)

10/3
Chuck      450 g (#1)
Lefty        400 ab (#19)
Bruce       200 ab (#24)

Welcome to the Club!

I tried to get the ball. I really did, but the ump and the Dusty Nut catcher were having none of it.

Wouldn't it have looked nice on the McKnight mantle? First Conehead hit, Patrick McKnight, Sept. 12, 2016. We coulda all signed it.

It was not to be.

On a night when the Junior Knight had a rather pedestrian (for him) 2-4, the rest of the Coneheads scored enough and the Nuts were generous enough for the Coneheads to win a rather ho-hum 14-9 no doubter.

There were quite a few Conehead hits - I had one that turned into a Conehead double - where's your hustle Patrick? You only got a single on yours. Never mind they threw mine under the fence.

But we also had some big hits - a slashed two out two run homer by Bruce, a deep gapper for a triple by Sting, and Chuck just muscled up to beat the left fielder for a double. The three of them paced us with three hits.

Larry had the Nuts by the...for most of the night. Take away the first inning and last and he allowed on run total in the middle five as we built what turned out to be an insurmountable lead.

As Reg said after the game, we are a freight train, and once we get rolling, watch out for the Coneheads! This was step one.

Milestones:
Larry            800 h (#3)
Gene            600 h (#7)

The Long and Winding Road

What do you do when you have missed a couple of months of blogging for your favorite Tuesday team?

Well, you just start up again like you never left, raving about the utter shellacking Transdyn put on the HLG Crew tonight 16-1. About Tom's near shutout, Jason's two great catches ranging into the outfield, once from short and once from second.

About Nick dropping a triple over the left fielder's head, and then just to remind everyone who the power hitter is, Bert puts it in almost the same exact spot, except over the fence. I called it, by the way, ask Mario, who was sitting next to me on the bench. That made it 7-0 and there was no comeback in sight for the last place HLG Crew.

And speaking of the Puppet King, Mario made a fabulous shoe-top catch in right to preserve the shutout to that point in the fourth.

D and Hama led the way with quiet 4-4s, and Al was matched by Heffe with team high 3 RBIs each.

But then you get to the Milestones section and you see that it extends from July 12th to now, and you smell a rat. So sorry, fellow Transdynians, if you made a great play or two, or got a clutch hit or did anything that called you out in the last two months, it will just have to live on in your mind's eye - you know what you did.

It's a long road to this season's championship and playoff cotton, with four competitive teams in the mix, and hopefully you won't have to wait until then to see your name in the light of this column.

Milestones:
7/12 (Playoff Game)
Heffe      1400 ab (#2)
D            300 rbi (#5)

8/2
Monty    1050 ab (#3)
Bert        10 bb (#25)

8/9
Jas          50 2b (#7)
Pauly      350 h (#9)
D            300 h (#11)
Rusty      50 ab (#51)

8/16
Bert        20 hr (#3)
Cage       550 h (#4)
Bert        102 h (#26)
Bert        150 ab (#28)

8/23

Mario      30 sf (#3)
Hama      200 h (#14)

Hama      300 ab (#15)

Tom        250 ab (#21)

8/30
Cage       60 sf (#1)

9/6

Cage       950 ab (#4)

Mario      50 bb (#6)
D            150 g (#12)
Hama      150 rbi (#14)

The (Un)Catch, Part II

As Jerry Seinfield said in one of the episodes of his classic show, everything always evens out.

Last night I went to the A's game against the Boston Red Sox. Two teams going in opposite directions, and I think you know which way the A's have been going for years, thank you Lew Wolff and Billy Bean.

I went with my friend and former colleague Pat, and our significant others. Pat and I have known each other for years, have had kind of parallel careers, each have two daughters, worked together, and even played a little softball together. We have our differences (politics and he's a DODGER fan despite moving to Petaluma at a fairly young age from LA), but we have much in common, including each having lived within a few blocks of Fenway Park, and worked together and separately on the Big Dig, and thus having somewhat conflicted views about the Red Sox and Boston in general.

We hadn't seen each other for quite some time, and probably to our SO's chagrin spent the game catching up. There was no drama in the game as the Sox scored 9 times by the fourth inning pretty much settling things baseball-wise. We barely noticed that Rick Porcello took a perfect game into the sixth inning, until the A's finally scored a run on a couple of hits.

One of the stories I told Pat was about the ball I caught at an A's game in 2012. You can read about it here: The Catch.

Last night however there were two balls that came down within a row of where we were sitting. How often does that happen? One was early in the game, and it was one row back and on the aisle a few seats away. They always look like they are coming right at you and then they peel off. This one faded to the aisle, and a guy who brought a glove stepped into the aisle and made it look routine. I thought of moving, but it happened so fast, and it wasn't really close enough to me to go for it.

Then in the ninth (I think), another batter hits a popup, but not too high in our direction. My baseball instincts took over; I was determined this time. The ball was going to be a few seats away again, but beyond Julia to my right there were no other fans in my way. The ball was going to land on the back of a seat in the row in front of us.

Some would say I fell. I might embellish the story and say I dove. The truth is somewhere in the middle - baseball instincts did take over - I would call it a lunge. But what happened was I landed with my chest right on the edge of the seat (ouch) and stretched out as far as I could, I just managed to get a fingertip on the ball. It bounced away, destined for someone else's trophy case.

Seinfeld would have said, "See, it all evens out."

Mike Krukow, the Giants' broadcaster would have said, "If you brought your glove, you would have extended your reach just enough to corral it, meat!"

And he'd be right...instead, all I've got is a story, and a sore man-boob, and a black and blue fingertip.

Winners and Losers

Donald Trump.

has a dim view of losers.

Bet you didn't think I'd start out with that did you.

He thinks that if you don't win you lose, as in you're a loser. And there is nothing worse than a loser. He loved the quote by golfer Walter Hagen so much he tweeted it twice - "No one remembers who came in second.”

And when he trailed in Iowa during the primaries (where he did eventually come in second), he said, "Unless I win, I would consider it a big, fat, beautiful ... waste of time.”

(Political aside, he better get used to the feeling)

Now I hate to lose as much as the next guy. Maybe a little more than most. Especially when, say, you make the last out in the championship game with the bases loaded and two out and the tying run is on second. You see the other team donning their champion shirts and you think "I coulda, I shoulda," and you beat yourself up a little.

But there are a few overriding themes in this, the 2016 Orinda Summer playoffs that make it all go down a little easier (like the post game beers - note we outlasted the champion Old Scouts to close down the park).

First and foremost - the Coneheads are winners. We each have a large collection of Cotton. We have so many that I famously concocted a spreadsheet tallying every championship season. In Orinda alone, we had two separate streaks of four in a row, the most recent ending two short years ago. Nine Championships in 18 years. We had a win in Walnut Creek just two weeks ago in Spring League, and can look forward to fall ball where we have won five of the last six years.

Face it, we are spoiled. Like in poker, which many of us play when we aren't on the field, there is a certain element of luck involved. The breaks have to go your way. In fact, many things did go our way in these playoffs to get us to the finals. And there was a lot of poetry to the way it unfolded.

First there was the 12 Angry Men drama. I played against them for years in winter ball and an annual charity tournament in SF and as a sub on the Conehead mirror image Rip City, a SF team. Some of them are nice guys, but they are fundamentally simply arrogant. To continue the Donald theme, we oughta build a wall on the Bay Bridge and make them pay for it, and allow No Angry Men through it. The feeling is shared by the rest of the teams in our league and any league they touch. Since our tournament conflicts with one of their precious weekend tourneys, they tried to get the league to move the tournament (no), tried to force their way into the C league tournament next weekend (no), which presumably would eliminate the 8th place team in that league. I'm sure that would be popular. Instead, just like last year they assembled a "B" team for our playoffs.

In a stroke of complete genius, their opponent in the second round, the second most loathed team, the Waitlisters (a.k.a. the 35 year old grandfathers), waited until 12 Angry took the field, and then called roster check. Voila, they could not produce 8 guys who actually were on the team. They were summarily kicked out of the tournament.

This was set up by our first game. In a theme revisited later, we just could not score and fell 5-4. Other than a Lefty home run, there were no highlights. However, if we had won, it would have been us against 12 Angry, and I doubt we would have had the chutzpah/pettiness, you pick, to challenge the Angry roster. We would have told ourselves we can beat them into 12 Silly Men on the field. But the Waitlisters did, and it worked.

In the other stroke of luck, the one upset had Johnny's Gang beating St. Mo's in a first round game. That set them up as our next opponent after they were spanked by the Old Scouts and we accepted our forfeit by the no-show 8-seed Warthogs. We probably would have beaten St. Mo's anyway. Of late, they seem to have our number in the regular season (a tie this year) but we make them pay in the playoffs.

At any rate, facing Johnny's Gang made for an easy road to Sunday. They celebrated their upset win with many beers. They were drinking in the dugout, smoking on the field during pre-inning grounders, and generally giving the impression of a team just happy to be there. We scorched them with our only true Conehead inning with 11 in the first, and although disturbingly we really didn't add on much, the outcome was never in doubt as we walked away with a 15-10 win. Nine straight hits in the first, a three run monster by D, a later solo shot by Chopper, you know, the usual stuff when we win.

The great debate was which was the best line of the games, both of which came in this one. Chopper, who was just ON all weekend, kept calling out the illegal player on loan from 12-Angry the "One Angry Man".

And after Lefty toppled over the overweight, smoking first baseman with what really was a routine grounder, and the guy lost the ball in his gut, couldn't get up, and couldn't make a throw, I looked at him and called out "I feel fit!"

This set up the final four for Sunday between the Old School teams we have faced over and over on Sundays past: The Old Scouts, Cal Bronco, the Waitlisters and us. The difference this year was we had lost to all of them in the regular season. Yet it felt right.

And the 12 Angry Men? I think I saw their equipment trailer on the freeway:

So we woke up having the to make great comeback like in 2013 from the losers' bracket. But you couldn't ask for more at the same time. A chance to avenge the 30-7 loss last week (shorthanded) against Cal Bronco, and a chance to keep the detested Waitlisters out of the finals after they won last year. I know one thing, both the Broncos and Scouts root for us against them.

We played perhaps our best fundamental game of the weekend in the 10:30 match-up with the Broncos. Mark continued his MVP of the playoff ways: 3-3 while starting two run scoring rallies, and an RBI in four run fifth that really put it away (it made it 13-4 in an eventual 14-6 win). In the third he made a tremendous dive in short left field in the hole and somehow got the ball to second base. It was contagious: in the sixth, Larry in his one inning at 2B made a similar stop but in shallow right and flipped it off balance to get a force out at second, and then made a great stop and throw to first for the last out. That sixth was the Broncos' last hurrah, and Larry singlehandedly kept the damage to a minimum; by the time they came up in the seventh, they were done, needing eight to tie. Joe was funny, he asked me if I wanted to put in a different pitcher. Are you kidding? To hold that lineup to 6 runs in 6 innings? So he went out and shut them down without a run.

In the semi-final, we again allowed the Waitlisters to get a big lead, this time 6-1. They were hitting the ball all over the yard. But some of us said, and it turned out to be true that they had shot their wad; they scored only two more the rest of the game. We rallied in the top of the fourth with a Mini-Conehead  inning - 7 runs. The big blow was a two run double by, you guessed it Mark. He wasn't even supposed to be there - he shined a Burning Man prep party that sounded like his own long tradition to be with us.

In the sixth, Chopper hit his second solo shot of the playoffs but we weren't done. Five straight hits by the bottom of the order and we had three more to give us what proved to be an insurmountable lead on the Waitlisters at 12-8 on the way to an eventual 13-8 win.

A word about Joe's pitching - he held the big 35 year old Waitlister SS and the cleanup hitter behind him to almost no hits between them. Nothing really after that first inning rally.

And so, as it should be, we faced the Old Scouts having to beat them twice in a repeat match-up of 2013. Really, their worst nightmare, just ask our teammates from the rest of the year, Scout Randy and Scout Johnny (who took off his championship shirt to don his new Conehead duds when he joined us for postgame beers).

But this year it was not to be. Neither team seemed to get out of the batter's box.and really the difference was a ball that got lost in the sun as we fell 5-3 (not the outfielder's fault). Maybe it was the heat but no one could buy a hit. Even brother Randy could not get a hit and he usually scorches us.

In a low scoring game, everyone feels like they had a chance to change fate - I got lucky and mine came with the game on the line. This day no Conehead could be the hero, we were all the goats. Who knows what would have happened if I got a hit, maybe we would have busted out with 10 two out runs, yet they had the hammer and we would have to beat them again as we did in '13. But still.

On the other hand, there is a lot of mutual respect by both teams, and the Old Scouts had not won since 2009. Class team that deserves it. Seven dry years, just like we once had. I for one am happy for them. And at least they are not the Waitlisters, and not the Putzmeisters.

And for the Coneheads, yes we hate losing, but we improved over last year when we did not even make it to Sunday, and we eliminated the Waitlisters and Cal Bronco. Last time we lost in the finals was in 2010, and we reeled off four in a row after that. WE'LL BE BACK.

Unlike the Donald. After he loses.

Milestones:

8/1
Pope         140 2b (#2)
Chopper    150 g (#15)
Bruce        100 h (#26)

8/4
Chopper    40 hr (#4)

8/8
Pope          1000 ab (#7)
Pope          250 g (#8)

8/13 G1
Chuck        150 bb (#1)
Gene          90 bb (#5)
Ol' G          850 ab (#10)

8/13 G2
Bruce          50 g (#26)

8/13 G3
Heffe           600 rbi (#3)
Gene           300 g (#6)
Chopper     500 ab (#17)
Lefty           200 rbi (#19)
Haze           10 bb (#24)

8/14 G1
None

8/14 G2
Haze            20 2b (#27)

8/14 G3
None

From a Leap to the (Bleep)

The last two weeks have produced a dichotomy - crisp hard timely hitting and fielding in Walnut Creek to a depth in Orinda that this team has not known in my 16 years with the Coneheads.

It started with leap - Randy went high to snare a line drive from the opening hitter in the first game of our double header a week ago Sunday. It set the tone in important game against the Polar Bears. They came into the game in second place. Granted we were already in the drivers' seat - a game and a half ahead with two weeks left. But lose that game and suddenly the pressure is on for the two remaining games against a good Big Feet team and a desperate Advance Construction team.

Instead starting with the Leap, we dominated the Bears. Although we started slow, we opened it up with a six run fifth featuring a two run double by Gerry and Bruce's follow up two run triple. Gerry, Ol' G, D, and Lefty ended up with three hits to lead the way.

In the nightcap, you could tell we let up after clinching first place in the opener. It didn't help that two of our players had to leave and we started without a schmiddler. Big Feet declared war on the middle, and even after hitting old Stink Eye, doubled up that effort for the first two innings. How many times can you apologize for going at the pitcher after you hit him?? By the time we figured it out, and pulled in Haze to plug up the middle (and go with three outfielders) we had spotted them an eight run first and a 15-1 lead through 2 1/2 innings.

After that we made a valiant effort to come back, and finished with a more respectable loss 19-14 (if there is such a thing). We were led by Chopper's 3-3 with five RBIs, including a bases loaded triple. Nomah continued his perfect hitting, and started his streak of right handed Heffe hits using Heffe's bats (bloopers landing 15 feet behind the first baseman) as he went 4-4.

In the last game of the Walnut Creek season (in which we rebounded to club Advance Construction 20-6), Nomah took the Heffe hitting style to a new level. I mean I never on all my teams got three ducks in a row just ten feet behind the infield like that. I bow to the New Master. Just for good measure as they squeezed tighter and tighter on the right side, he smashed a line drive to now wide open right center for a double his last time up. I bow to the Old Master too.

In other highlights, Bruce had a bases loaded and clearing double in the first that pretty much advanced Advance to the off season. That made it 5-0 and we never looked back. Bruce made the play of the game with a dive in the outfield, and a few others that would have been ordinary except they were on Field 3 with the brutal sun for the left center fielder. With his five RBIs overall, you'd have to name him Player of the Game.

He wasn't alone though. We started the nine run fifth with nine straight hits, and they all scored. D provided the comic relief. After going 'yard' and thus on Field 3 being called out his previous at bat, his next time up he swung and missed on purpose to avoid a walk. And then really worked the count until he hit a foul out strikeout that you can only do in softball. We were cracking up at his expense. Very cruel. You know it's just cause we respect you D. Really. As a man and as a hitter. Really.

Pope had an all double game with three, and Randy had two two baggers and four RBIs from the lead off spot, and Chopper continued his late season heat up with three more hits.

Part II

And now for something completely different, the Bleep - The Orinda Coneheads. We had two challenging games that could have defined the race for first - first against the second place old rival Old Scouts, and then versus the Carpetbagger...I mean the 12 Angry Men. Next year we are going to build a wall around San Francisco and make 12 Angry Men pay for it so they can't come over to play in our precious former hidden gem of a league in Orinda. We will dedicate it to Donald Trump after he fails in the election and fails in his bid for his proposed wall to block Mexican illegal immigrants.

Somehow our age and injuries and missing players seem to make more of a difference in Orinda. Or maybe it's just that the Scouts and Angries are just really good teams and we need to be at full strength to take them on. Let's face it, we were down four regular outfielders last night.

We were in both games late - down 6-5 to the Scouts going into the bottom of the fifth, and we had come back to tie it 8-8 last night after four.

But in each case the opponents came on late and squashed us like a bug. Very humbling. In Scout game, they won going away with 5, then 8 runs to close it out. To top all in last night's game, 12 Angry scored 26 in one inning, the top of the fifth. I can't remember many whole games the Heads have allowed that many runs, even when we played nine inning games. So I had to looked it up. In the ten years since I started keeping box scores, we have allowed 30+ runs in a game just a handful of times. The biggest inning I found was the Waitlisters once scoring 17. Not even close.

And HAH you carpetbagging lowlife scumbag bottom feeding predators-on-the-injury-depleted, we once scored THIRTY ONE in an inning. So there.

We had only one major highlight - Joe getting a home run when he sent Larry around the bases on a turf gapper to the deep outfield. Joe Bonds!

The other recognition is we have to call out Poor Chopper in right field last night. He gave it his best shot, and they just kept picking on him again and again the more tired he became. I blame the coach, who was slow to move the outfielders around to give him some relief - although let the record show that the first batter up after we moved him to right center hit it to right center.

But a word about Chopper the hitter - he is heating up just as the weather is, and just in time for the playoffs. He is 12 for his last 12, including a homer (no goose), a triple and four doubles.

Playoffs this weekend, we should all hit like Chopper, and Cotton will be ours.

Milestones Walnut Creek:
7/17 Game 1
Chopper    20 3b (#1)
Chuck       20 2b (#6)
Chopper    20 2b (#7)
Ol' G         350 ab (#8)

7/17 Game 2

Haze         150 g (#5)

Joe           30 bb (#6)

7/24 Game

Randy       20 2b (#8)

Bruce        50 rbi (#15)

Bruce        10 2b (#17)

Bruce       100 ab(#21)

Milestones Orinda:
7/18 Game: None
7/25 Game
D              150 g (#14)

D              500 ab (#16)

Softball My Way

I've always wanted to write a book. Just never had the discipline to follow through on the hundred times I started one. Now though, thanks to the Knight, I know what to do.

We need to chronicle the life and times of one Mike Callanan, a.k.a. Chopper. The title will be Softball My Way, as told to Heffe Kravin, and the subtitle will be The Chopper School of Baserunning and the Other Skills of Softball.

The reason this came up was that in an otherwise hohum opener of our double header Sunday, Chopper was running for Joe and went to third on a double by Randy. He did the most incredible flop and landed with a thud on the bag. And in the third base dugout we had very good seats for the performance! If there were a pool under him, the cannonball he created would have emptied the entire pool. It was impressive.

We pretty much owned the Holy Sox and made the game batting practice for the nightcap. Except Haze. He showed up, walked twice, and then had to go to some other commitment instead of playing the next game. A perfect day of softball - 0-0, 2 walks, 1 run scored.

Randy was the hitting hero, doubling twice and singling in three at bats, while driving in three runs in the leadoff spot. Aaron and Big D smoked doubles while going 2-2, and they were joined by Heffe with 2-2 games, and Lefty had three RBIs.

Big D had the defensive play of the game snaring a hot one hopper back-handed. When he realized to get the out at first it had to be Joe covering or his hamstrings lugging him there, instead he fired it to second to get a force out. Of course I don't give him enough credit - you're supposed to get the lead runner. but just let's say Necessity is the Mother of Invention. We also turned a 6-11-3 nifty double play - the Knight doing the lefty 270 turn so common in baseball and softball.

The second game turned out to be much more exciting for the fans. It didn't start that way - we were up 6-1 when we came into the dugout going into the top of the fourth. At that point someone said let's get five runs and go up by 10, and I turned to Randy and said forget that let's go up 15-1. And so, we actually got one more and were on our way to the slaughter rule with a 16-1 lead.

We started the Conehead inning with a bunch of singles by the last half of the order, and when Randy knocked in a run on a fielder's choice for the second out, we had three in and a tidy 9-1 lead. Then we got six straight two out hits, including back to back doubles by Sting and Pope, and a lumbering triple to the hinterlands by Big D.

Just needed six outs to get to our well deserved beer after the minimum five innings. But the Big Feet had other ideas, and blooped and bled their way to match our ten in the bottom of the fourth. It was a bit of a nightmare inning and luckily we had the Conehead inning to lean on.

I guess it drove Joe to drink - he let D come in to pitch, and went to get the cooler for our after game refreshments. In actuality it was a brilliant move -  D's pitching style is pretty much opposite Joe's and the opponent got their Big Feet all tangled up trying to hit him, and came up with a Big Zero in the last two innings. With one insurance run added, we ended the game up 17-11.

Pope was a perfect 4-4 with the mini-cycle, just missing a home run. Knight drove in runs with three straight singles to pace us with three RBIs. Sting was also one short of a cycle but he was missing the triple. Heffe had another 2-2 (as did Chuck) to finish off a perfect day, 4-4 with a walk and a Conehead triple. On a single to shallow center, Gene took a very wide turn around third and got into a run down. Heffe kept motoring on, and when the pickle throw home to nail Gene hit him and skittered off toward first base, Heffe kept on keeping on. It was mighty tempting to go for a little league home run, but reason prevailed, and he settled for the CH triple.

Another double header this weekend. Our magic number is Two to clinch top seed for the playoffs, and we play the second place Polar Bears in the opener. Win that and it's settled. Whether or not we win that one Big Feet get another crack at us in the nightcap.

Milestones, Game 1
Lefty        150 g (#4)
D             30 bb (#5)

Milestones, Game 2

Chuck      250 r (#1)

Chuck      50 bb (#1)

Heffe        500 ab (#2)

DS Electrocuted

There's nothing new under the sun.

The headline should read, "Transdyn Wins Cotton!". And while it is good to get the first championship of the year, and 11-1 is a fine regular season, go ask the Warriors. You want to go all the way and this week is playoff crunch time. We will have our hands full (or slightly empty) missing the killer B's, Brian with his defense and speed on the bases, and Bert with his line drive and soaring homers.

And it was a little anticlimactic - we clinched Regular Season Cotton last week anyway with our squeaker over the Sons of Pitches. And, DS Electric, our opponent had scored 36 runs in dispatching the Alabama Tuna Melts last week (What a Melt down! ouch, couldn't help myself)

We were due for a letdown. 

So what did we do? We went out and shocked the Electricians, 21-2.

Didn't help that they were late in arriving for the game. After all, they came in hopelessly out of the playoff race. Doesn't help that at least some of their players, maybe most, are the remnants of the Big Kahuna club, who we just haven't liked over the last few years. Mediocre players with bad attitudes, bad combination.

After they finally arrived just short of the ten minute forfeit grace period, we got to start with two hitting innings before they stepped to the plate, due to one of Pleasanton's cooler rules. Punish the offender but let the game go on. Gotta love that one for both teams.

And by the time they did hit it was 11-0, and all but over. We had just two in the first but batted around plus one in the second. The big blow was a hooking line shot by Albert for a three run homer. That ball was clearly headed foul but Bert hit it so hard, it straightened itself out to go over in fair territory. That was the fifth of six consecutive two out hits, including two run hits by Rene and Rusty.

In the third it was more of the same but we spotted the opponent two outs to start the inning. Then poured out seven straight hits interspersed with two walks to plate six. Rene and Rusty repeated two out two run hits.

Tom did give up a two run homer in the fourth, but that was all DS Electric could muster against him and the defense. Jas made a leaping catch for an out and Rene tracked down two shallow fly balls for defensive highlights.

Rusty and Hama led the way with perfect 4-4 games, with Jas, Rene, and D just behind with three each. Rene, Rusty, D, and Bert all had four RBIs.

One week to go for Cotton II. Missing our B&B, who will step up?

Milestone:

Albert        100 rbi (#18)

Bringing Home the Bacon

Bacon. Just reading the word evokes the enticing aroma of breakfast cooking in the kitchen, the sizzling sound of splattering grease, the promise of a great breakfast, whether you cook it yourself, or it's done by your lover or your mother, or whether it's at a truck stop or diner, or a fancy brunch restaurant. You may say it's full of fat or it ain't Kosher, but let's face it, we all love it.

And where does bacon come from - that's right, your hog farm somewhere in the hinterland. We don't like to think of those putrid places producing such a delectable delight, but once it's in front of you, you don't care in the least.

But then, what the hell is a warthog? Is it literally a hog with warts? If so, could you get infectious diseases from eating bacon from a warthog? Could you get warts of you are on a field full of Warthogs? Should they be teaching about the evils of hanging out with Warthogs in ninth grade biology?

I had to do a little research because the Coneheads were playing the Warthogs on Thursday. Just in case you haven't been to the Zoo (except the Conehead Zoo), here is what I found:

It sure is a hideous beast. Look closely, zoom in on the face of yon warthog - notice the two growths hanging down its snout - those are the warts! They're not really warts at all! We are safe! We can still eat bacon!

But then the question leaps out at you - who in the world would name their softball team after such an ugly creature?

And then you remember, oh yeah, Coneheads. If you think about Jane Curtain and Dan Ackroyd back in the skit, it might give you pause. There is no accounting for taste in names.

And so, on Thursday we faced the ugly beast, and slayed him, to the tune of 29-8. We spotted them a 6-3 lead and then our Fan arrived. She takes full credit by the way. She carefully notes that the score was 26-2 after she arrived. We had Conehead rallies of nine and 13 runs in successive innings.

Mark moved the leadoff spot and the Hog pitcher wouldn't or wouldn't give him a pitch to hit, so he did his job and took two walks. He managed to go 3-3 anyway. Sting slashed a bunch of line drives and drove in five with four hits. Pope had the big bomb of the evening (at last until Chopper unloaded later on) and also had five RBIs. Chuck had nothing but clutch hits and tied them with five RBIs on just three hits. And made a fine catch of a line drive at third in the fifth. In the third Chopper put the exclamation point on our 13 run rally - he was the 11th straight Conehead to reach via hit or walk that inning. It was a great goose ball, but the geese had remained in Walnut Creek.

After a couple of innings of shoddy defense early we settled down and backed up Joe with good defense. Even with the game out of reach, when we had an outfield of Chopper and Haz and Heffe and Pope. Let the record show we only allowed one run in the last two innings with that alignment. Never mind most of the balls went to the infield. I said never mind!

In a strange quirk of scheduling, we have 11 days off in the middle of July. How un-Conehead is that? But I will leave you with this: 

When we come back, go out and bring home the Bacon.

Freight Train

For musical accompaniment click here:

Freight Train Boogie

Among hundreds of others there is a cliche in the NBA that in the playoffs there is no carry-over from game to game. That each game is its own drama and story to be told. So you could lose by 30 and then win the next game. This years's playoffs were full of those stories.

You would think that rec league softball followed the same pattern, if for no other reason than we only play once a week. There is plenty of time for momentum to change, or perhaps it wouldn't even exist.

But you can look at the last three weeks of Transdyn's season for evidence to the contrary.

Three weeks ago we had that great two out walk-off rally to upend the Brews Bros. 9-8 on Rene's gapper.

The Brews Bros responded to their frustration by going out and playing a solid game against the (then) first place Sons of Pitches 14-6. You wonder if the crushing defeat gave them more resolve.

We took our momentum and confidence generated by the dramatic win, and just cruised in crushing the Alabama Tuna Melts 30-5.We had separate rallies of nine and ten runs. Jason broke out with a 4-4 and four RBIs from the leadoff spot. Coop had nearly the same game, 3-3 with a walk and four RBIs from the 'second leadoff' spot. Albert combined the pair's output for seven RBIs - including a bases loaded three run single in the first for the game winning RBIs. A side show was him deciding to take second on the play - when he was thrown out 'stretching' the hit - by about three steps. Maybe he should stretch before the game instead.

Hama was also a perfect 4-4 with a double and a walk and everyone in the lineup had a hit and a run scored and at least one RBI. The Tuna starter couldn't find the plate - there were ten walks altogether. We are the wrong team to not throw strikes to - we have too many veterans who are not too proud to take a walk for the team, in order to avoid swinging at bad pitches.

This set up the Rematch - we were now a half game ahead of the Sons going into our showdown last week. The winner pretty much would lock down regular season Cotton. If they won the best we could do was tie them and they would hold the tie breaker. Vice versa, except with their upset loss last week, it meant we could clinch regular season Cotton with a win.

The game was tight from the get go. No one could really square up the ball against either pitcher. Tom was dealing, holding them to a single run through four innings including a K. He even had them talking about having a no-hitter through two or three innings. They kept trying to un-jinx it by talking about it, I think they were getting nervous and jinxing themselves.

After taking a 2-0 lead in the first via run scoring singles from Bert and Hama, we came up in the fourth with what turned out to be our best rally of the game. Bert and Hama set the table this time and in a gapper reminiscent of the game winner a couple weeks earlier, Rene drove in both runners. I've never seen Hama run so hard as he scored from first again. We weren't done, and hits by Heffe, Tom and Coop brought in a couple of more.

Even though it was getting late and the way things were going 6-1 seemed like a large lead, we knew with the Sons of Pitches it could evaporate just like that.  And sure enough they rallied to tie it up in the top of the fifth.

We answered - but with just one run scratched across with a hit, a walk, a fielder's choice and one more hit. It was like a National League baseball rally. The tension mounted as neither team scored in the sixth. The highlight was Brian ranging far into center field to rope in a blooper that could have opened up their half.

We knew we had the hammer and the top of the lineup set  to come up in the bottom of the seventh should we need it. One run seemed like a very slim margin for error going into the seventh with such a prolific team in the other dugout.

Who knew the drama we were setting up?

They put a runner on first with one out. The next hitter smashed it up the middle - and Tom not only got a glove one it, he had it IN his glove. He had ALL day to at least get the lead runner and then the double play to end it. It was hit that hard. The batter was not even out of the box.

And then he rushed it. We've all done it. He threw behind Jas coming up to second base and it clanked off the tip of his glove into shallow right. Luckily he did slow the ball down so that no one could advance further, which proved to be important.

Give Tom credit for not panicking - he just went after the next batter and threw strikes. The guy hit a sinking liner to right, it looked like the game tying hit or at least the bases would be loaded. Or it could have bounced in front of and by Coop who went into a full lunge...and then they could have run amok.

But not this night. Coop, extended to the max, caught the ball. The runner on second was so sure it would drop he was already past third. And there was no panic in Coop. He flipped it to second, game over, COTTON!

We have a roll going on down the tracks.

Hopefully will continue it through the playoffs. Tomorrow's game is, of course, meaningless, but I always expect that we will try to win. Note that DS Electric is the Old Kahunas, who we never liked, and they scored 36 runs last week. Time to show them what good defense and pitching will do to them.

Milestones:

6/21
Heffe      130 bb (#1)
Bert        10 bb (#22)

6/28

Jas          350 h (#8)

Roller-Conester

My girlfriend says I am spoiled. My teams are 24-8-3 this year. The Coneheads, now in Walnut Creek and Orinda flavors, are 8-2-2. Near the top in both leagues. The best 'finishing' team in both leagues the last five years.

And yet...tied the Corona Crushers in WC. Tied St. Mo's in Orinda. Both of these opponents have been our respective nemeses in the two leagues.

We once went 13-0-1 in Walnut Creek, the only blemish being a tie with Corona. We are clearly better than these guys but we always play down to them, it seems. We spotted them a 9-2 lead this time, and then came roaring back with five in the fourth and seven in the sixth only to lose defensive focus in the bottom half and give up three to tie. Sometimes a tie feels like a loss and we had the third out in our hands.

On the other hand, for a while over the years St. Mo's had our number - they beat us three times in a row in the regular season (2012-14) and even once in the playoffs. We kind of took care of that in 2013 in the playoffs and after that year's first round loss, won seven in a row from the loser's bracket, the key win being getting our retribution against them late Saturday to get to Sunday to win it all.

Last Thursday we had the opposite experience as the Corona game, a tie felt like a win. We had a lead that we coughed up, yet it was only 13-9 at the widest and it was anyone's game. When they took a only a one run lead though in the bottom of the sixth we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. But though we had the first two batters on in the top of the seventh, we could only manage one run to tie.

In the bottom of the seventh, St. Mo's had second and third with no outs. Joe made a great call to load the bases by intentionally walking the next batter. It could be debated - they had the big hitters up only needing a fly ball to win it. The manager couldn't decide and Joe made the call himself. The next batter hit a grounder to Randy at SS and he threw out the potential winning run at home, and the last batter tried too hard and hit a double play grounder that we handled. We felt like we escaped a disaster.

In the middle of the game we hit some bombs, with Sting, Pope and Bruce going yard in one inning. Bruce hit for the cycle, a first for our teams this year. Randy (3 doubles), Ol' G, and Heffe had three hits each.

After Chuck got hit on the wrist and his hand blew up, Haze was thrown into the infield at third base. He had a dream defensive inning, snagging a tall line drive and two hot one hoppers that he turned into outs. There was an assist from yours truly on the first one. He threw high and into the runner and I had to drag my foot across the bag. Or so the ump thought. I won't say too much, but let's just say that I quickly smoothed out my foot print along the bag. At any rate Haze had one of the best defensive innings this year in the 5th.

Since the last post for the two teams, both teams also lost a game. In Walnut Creek we were just flat against Who's On First, losing 10-8. We beat them 99 out of 100.

In Orinda, we played the defending champ/everyone's most hated team, the Waitlisters, to a tie at 8-8. But we had time left and got greedy, and played an extra inning when we had the bottom of our order coming up and they had the top of theirs. Not that we couldn't win in that scenario but we couldn't score and they pushed one across. They also had the bases loaded with their big hitters up, and Joe had owned them to that point. But the five hole hitter just crushed one to win it with the outfield drawn in with just one out.

In between these fiascos, we did manage to get wins over the Masterbatters in WC and the Reds in Orinda. Against the Masterbatters, Gene and Sting had three hits each including a triple, but the play of the game came from Sting in left center. In his first game in the field after getting the green light for throwing again, he caught a fly ball in medium deep left center, and noticed the old guy on first was straying too close to second. He fired a strike to me at first and all I had to do was wait for the runner to come back into my glove for the double play. I guess we all should rest our arms for a year and a half!

In both leagues our destiny is in our own hands, especially Walnut Creek, where we are closing in on the end of the season, and have double headers the next two Sundays. Included is the team we are tied for first with - the Polar Bears have played an extra game but we have a tie so we are both six games over .500. the winner of our game with them pretty much sews it up, but there are still four other games we need to win.

Milestones Walnut Creek:
6/5
D                200 ab (#14)
Johnny        100 ab (#19)

6/12
Lefty           30 bb (#4)
Knight         250 h (#5)

6/26
Lefty            450 ab (#3)
Sting            100 g (#11)
Randy          200 ab (#15)

Milestones Orinda:
6/13
Heffe          1550 ab (#2)
Stink Eye    750 h (#4)
Haze           250 ab (#23)

6/20
Ol' G           500 h (#12)

6/27
Chopper      300 h (#17)

The Bert and Rene Show

I think everyone on Transdyn either has kids that watched or for our youngsters, watched hours and hours themselves the fabulous Sesame Street show. On PBS.

It was the PC way to plop your kids in front of the TV when all you really wanted to do was sleep in on the weekend, or do some other nefarious activity. Or maybe you bonded with your kids and watched it yourselves. After all, it was educational. But really it was just a program with puppets, and the kids loved it.

But after hours and hours and hours (in between watching the Lion King for the 300th time), you were so sick of Bert and Ernie that you turned into Oscar the Grouch, who lived in a trash can. You'd be grouchy too if you lived in a trash can. I just learned that he has been since upgraded to a dumpster. Well bully for him.

Not us though. After last Tuesday's game we love our Bert and Ernie (I believe that Ernie is the English form of Rene, as in Rene Banks, Hall of Fame SS for the Cubs).

We were having our problems hitting, and had only five runs after five innings. Our one big inning featured a great hit from Hama - the right fielder was way off the line and he placed it perfectly near the line for a double, scoring Rusty from first. Then Rene powered one to the fence for another double, and with a couple clutch two out hits from Tom and Mario, we were up 5-1.

With our usual great defense, despite the fact that the Brews Bros were smashing the ball, we had them held at one run. Then Mario went out with a bad back and someone else moved behind the plate. Now I won't say that it's his fault because after all it is slow pitch softball, and they were hitting some loud outs before that. But he called some pitch placements from Tom, who actually paid attention and before you knew it three runs came across in the sixth and then four more in the seventh. I'm thinking that you have guessed who the backup catch was.

All we had was another to counter was a two out clutch hit by Coop to plate one more, and we trailed 8-6 going into the bottom of the seventh.

The first two batter made outs and things looked bleak. But Rusty singled, and up strode our own Bert. Bert had gotten under a couple of blasts and hit into a line drive out - very out of character for him, even though every high deep ball hit by anyone was being knocked down by the stiff winds.

And then - the wind suddenly died. Still - who can just dial up a long ball on demand, because that was what was called for. Bert can, that's who.

So he knotted it up at 8-8 and then Hama once again did just what the situation called for- he got a little base hit and then Ernie, er, Rene came up. Right man right time - he has been on fire lately. He then got his third hit of the night, it was a scorcher to the right center fence.

The Bros hustled after it, and Hama was off and running hard. They made a really good relay but our third base coach was sending Hama all the way. In the end, despite the hustle, the throw would have beaten Hama by ten feet. But it was just far enough off the place, and despite the catcher's best effort, he couldn't keep it in his glove, and the run scored and game over!

It seemed like it's been years since we had a walkoff win, so I looked it up in the archives. Turns out it's only been since May 20th, 2014. Mario hit a walk-off double to beat our recent rival the Ringers. That's the beauty of getting older - you forget everything so quickly, every thing seems new!

Still it is the best way to win a game, and makes for a very exciting time even for the losers.

And I think I even saw Oscar the Grouch poking his head out of the dumpster to watch.

Milestones:
5/31:
Mario       200 r (#11)
Brian        10 2b (#29)
Brian        50 h (#36)
Brian        100 ab (#37)

6/14
Coop       300 rbi (#4)
Jas           150 g (#11)
Jas           550 ab (#11)
Rene        50 g (#27)

Rene        50 rbi (#32)

Band of Brothers...

..and what do brothers do? They fight. More on this later.

In the game story, the Coneheads rode Lefty's back to squeak out a 7-6 win over a slightly improved Slammers team to remain undefeated at 6-0. I never doubted the game's outcome - we had the hammer and the Slammers were slamming nothing on us.

Lefty strode up in the first inning with two on and two out. The right fielder was playing about 50 feet behind the second baseman. I could see drool coming out of the corner of Lefty's mouth. He promptly deposited the ball deep into right center and the right fielder was caught flatfooted. The right center fielder gave chase but it was too late. Lefty followed Pope and Ol' G and scored easily and we were up 3-0.

You'd think that this was the beginning of one of our classical routs, but umpire Terry Mason kept the Slammers in the game with an exceedingly generous strike zone. Guys on both teams were bending this way and that to swing at garbage because he was calling everything a strike. We only hit .500 as a team and Ol' G was the only one of us with three hits, although Lefty and Chuck were 2-2. Bruce only had one hit in his return from the long list of long lost Coneheads, but one ball he lasered right at the right center fielder, who was lucky he didn't get knocked down.

You have to credit the Slammers - they never gave up and stayed within a run from the third inning to the end. But Ol 'G and Lefty drove in our sixth and seventh runs in the bottom of the sixth, and those proved necessary as the Slammers did rally for three in the seventh.

Speaking of that rally, how do you get the Stink Eye AND the Stink Mouth for actually making a play? I pulled that one off during that last inning. The Slammers had a runner on first, and the next hitter knocked a single to the outfield; I think a different runner scored, and the throw came to Joe on the mound. The runner on first assumed the guy in front of him was going to third and was half way to second when Joe got the ball. He made a quick decision and snapped a throw to me at first. The runner was a dead duck. He was too far to chase down and I looked up and the runner ahead was frozen in brain lock. So I chased the hitter. At second it was a cluster of Randy (SS), Ol' G (2B), Hazel (Rover) and the two runners. I figured if he kept going I could eventually tag one or the other out, rather than risk a throw into the crowd, and getting into a rundown. At that point the lead runner panicked and took off to third, way too late. Even with my candy-ass arm it was an easy lob to Chuck at third and he tagged him out.

And then, Joe erupted at me! Stink this stink that! You stink! Why did you do that? That was the wrong play! Well me and Joe, we are like brothers and I wasn't backing down. I may have even said a bad word as I not so politely told him to move the muscles near the opening in his face to please close the orifice.

I could write a book about all the times we have argued. If we were ten, we would have fallen to the ground wrestling til Mom came and separated us. Now there's an image for you. As it was, we managed to eventually take it off the field.

At the end of the game they made us hug and make up. I think we were over it anyway. I'm just glad there was no kissing required. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Now there is another image for you.

Milestone:
Chuck        550 ab (#1)

The Glass is Half Full

If Kruk and Kuip and Miller and Flem were doing their player of the game schtick on the post-game wrap after our Transdyn game, it would go like this: First someone would take Chopper for getting a sweet hit down the right field line with the bases loaded in the second when the score was still 0-0. This turned out to be the Game Winning RBI as he plated two.

The next would take D for his huge 2 run blast to right center the following inning that increased the lead to 5-0. We all knew the game was over at that point.

Then the third announcer would take me, just for the novelty of getting the base runner interference call in the fourth or fifth inning. It broke the back of any potential rally that inning.

Then Jon Miller would say something like, "I don't know what game you guys were watching. Did you notice that the game was a shutout? in slowpitch softball? And then they would all laugh as Jon picked Tom as the game's MVP. Not only did he pitch his personal second shutout in two days (the night before he tossed one in Livermore), but he made the defensive play of the game, a sharp grounder that he snared out of the air and turned into a crisp 1-6-3 double play.

Including Tom, our defense continues to dominate the league. We have now allowed 28 runs in 6 games - that's 4.67 runs per game for you non-math majors. our hitting isn't too bad either as we trail only the Sons of Pitches in runs scored and they have played an extra game.

The glass is now half full - we are 6-0 after the first half of the season. This week we play the Sons of P again - I won't say that the race is over if we win, but let's just say I will smell regular season cotton if we put it to them. We would be two games up on the loss side plus tie breaker guaranteed with five games left. Fill 'er up!

Milestones:

D             200 r (#10)
Chopper  10 bb (#11)
Brian        10 bb (#22)

Little Baby GooseHeads

Sunday's Conehead game was not a thriller for the fans. It was pretty hum-drum as a matter of fact. Final score 10-2 over an Advanced Construction team that has advanced to the cellar this season.

The box score shows a bunch of 1-2s and 1-3s (exception Sting with a perfect 3-3) with a smattering of two hit games (Pope, Lefty and Ol' G). In fact if it were not for the right fielder falling down and not getting up on Haz's base hit to right that turned into a home run (which provided the lead for good), we might have fallen asleep in the dugout. Thanks Jeff.

So, to liven things up I came up with this: On Saturday, I had to work all day at the Oracle Redwood Shores headquarters on a meter installation project. By work I mean as the project manager, I waited around while the people who did the real work performed their tasks installing water and gas meters. I was to meet the crew foreman later in the morning to go over some meter installation details, so I had this moment where I was just waiting for him. And Lo, here came Joe, the mom, followed by Chuck, Heffe and Chopper the slow baby geese, and then I think it was Haz, the dad, bringing up the rear. Take a look:

This is titled, "Coneheads Crossing the Sidewalk", soon to appear at a theater near you.

You can see I had to dig deep this week. 5-0 is 5-0, which is great but can we have some drama next week?

Milestones:

None

The Goat

One month ago, I wrote about my Sunshine Saloon team breaking a 22 game losing streak to the prior league dominating team formerly known as Boomers' Bangers now called the Renegades, which is their name in tournament play.

Last night we reverted to form - down 19-5 going into the bottom of the seventh. Maybe it was all a dream.

And then, it happened. It started innocently enough with a single and a walk and a force out. And then - 11 hits, an error, another walk and a sac fly, and it was suddenly 19-18 with the tying run on third and winning run on first with two outs.

The big blows were base loaded, bases clearing triples by Mark and Don. But obviously everyone contributed.

And then I came up. And I hit a medium hard ground ball up the middle that on another night might have seen the outfield grass, but on this night the second baseman cut it off and got the force at second to end the game.

I let the team down, even if no one would say it. Or maybe I just let myself down, I like to think I get the big hit in big situations. But the cliche goes, "there is no I in team", so I guess we lose as a team just as we win as a team.

Still.

Maaaaaaa.

But glass half full. We can play with these guys. We were missing two of our best hitters, and best outfielders. It's all spilt milk now, but we will see these guys again in the regular season and almost surely in the first round of the playoffs. I can't wait cause I owe everyone a big hit, and dammit I'll get it next time.

Serve It Up

Believe it or not, I try really hard to not make this about me. I mean, I am but one small cog on my teams.

But Tuesday night in our Transdyn game, we beat the Brews Bros so thoroughly that the only drama was when Tom gave up a solo home run in the bottom of the fifth with the score 17-2 and we had to play another inning. And then in the sixth another (and then another but it was just a single since they had the limit two). So the final score was 17-7, and it wasn't that close. What to write about?

Well, I am bitter.

Why are you bitter, you ask?

I'm glad you asked. Here's the thing. The Brews Bros' pitcher, who knows D and maybe some others on our team through his father, came up to D and me as we watched the Sons of Pitches win the game before ours. He was real friendly-like, and chatted with D, and then introduced himself to me. He noted that he was the pitcher that night (little did we know that his wildness would greatly help our cause) and somehow the subject of home runs came up and I noted how I no longer have the power I never had - and he volunteered to throw me a gopher ball during the game. What a nice young man, I thought.

And then, the game. He gave me nada. Unless maybe his definition of gopher ball is different than mine. Because in the first inning he walked me on four pitches with the bases loaded to give me an RBI. There was my gift, because after that I couldn't get it out of the infield.

Bitter. Gopher, my ass.

Luckily, between the eight walks he issued we had plenty of guys to bang the ball off and over the wall.

The big blow was in the top of the third. We nursed a 3-2 lead through the second and D brought home our fourth run with a single (his second of three in a row). Up stepped Bert and towered one over the left field fence and suddenly it was 7-2 and this one was over. Clutch two out hits by Mario and a two-bagger by Jas, and it was 10-2 by inning's end. We added on in the next two innings until it was the aforementioned 17-2.

Cage continued his tear through this season with two scorched doubles including one to straight-away center (!) among four hits. He's hitting a cool .800. Only a lightning quick line drive right at the third baseman's glove kept him from a five for five night. Rusty had a very interesting night - it's hard to say they walked him intentionally since we had eight altogether but he had three his first three times up. Then he added a run scoring single to make it a perfect night. Bert led the way with six RBIs all told in a 3-3-and a SF night.

The defense was solid, but really Tom made it easy on us. Brian gets the walking wounded award, he took a couple of really bad hops off his body. We turned one DP. Rene made a great catch in the dusk gloom when the light is toughest.

Still perfect, one more win and we make it halfway through the season unblemished. Let's get it next game!

But I won't listen to the opposing pitcher any more. Damned millennials.

Milestones:

D           20 gw (#3)
Mario    600 ab (#10)
Jas        150 rbi (#13)
Brian     50 r (#32)

Can of Corn

This team is tough, relentless.

No I don't mean on the field - well, yes I do, but we'll get to that shortly.

What is tough is the razzing - before the games, during the games (not to mention the Stink Eye), and after the games - especially when we win.

In the last inning of our rout of Chico's Bail Bonds Sunday (final score 25-5) a ball was clobbered to right field. Our right fielder Haz (pronounce Haze) got a great jump, ran back to the spot, just like your coaches told you to do when you were ten, and turned around. His instincts were so good that when he turned around the ball was right there, and he reached up and snatched it.

It made almost no difference in the game's outcome, other than the final score, but underlined why JFT or the Coneheads or whatever we are at this juncture is so on top of this league - we play every play like it matters (it does) and we play excellent defense, which is rare in rec league softball.

But - by the time the Razzers came out on the sidelines over our beer and water, Haz was told, ah that was routine. Can of Corn. What else were you thinking?

And we all laughed. Including Haz. But we also all knew the truth, that Haz would make the same play if it was 18-17 and there were two outs and the tying run was on third, which is what makes us great.

Add to the defensive gems a couple of shots up the middle that Johnny stopped, filling in for Knight at Schmiddler. One he threw too low for the force and then they came right back at him on the next play and this time he was ready and got the out.

There may have been one or two heros on offense as well. There was no Conehead inning this game. Instead we did something I can't remember us ever doing - we scored at least four runs in every inning. 4-6-6-5-4 for 25 total in five innings. Can't really beat that.

We did it with a balance in the lineup that was remarkable in itself. Every player had a hit, a run and an RBI, and we batted 14. Sting was 2-2 with two walks including one with the bases loaded. Lefty, Ol' G, Johnny and Heffe were 3-3.

Sting had perhaps the most important hit of the game. In the second inning when we were 'muddling' along only up 7-2, with two outs he cleared the bases with a three run blast to left center. That pretty much sealed the deal less than one and a half innings into the game.

But it was Big D who stole the show. His next time up, leading off the third, he hit a ball that nearly made it into the trees on a fly. The right fielder saw it roll into the trees and pleaded mercy, aka ground rule double. Yeah right. D with his new found legs was already on his way to third, and there was no way it was a not a home run.

Then in the next inning he got a chance with runners on. He hit a shot that he claimed he got under, straight down the line. I'm told that it also made the trees (I couldn't see it from my angle in the dugout), and this time it was a three run Can of Corn only there was no can, just sweet corn. The rout continued until Chico's cried uncle after the fifth.

I swear in the handshake line I could read their eyes and thoughts - "Who are these guys?"

And the answer, of course, is we are the guys who turn tough catches into cans of corn.

* In last week's post, I mentioned the key hit of the game ("he put one over the right center fielder's head"), but the hitter remained unnamed. Sorry about that Pope.

Milestones:
Sting        10 hr (#1)
Heffe       150 rbi (#3)
Johnny     50 h (#21)

Grind and Bear It

Again, we had to play shorthanded.

Randy, D, Lefty, Bruce, Buddha, and Ol' G all missing.

And they all seemed to have good reasons to be away.

But then I stumbled upon this, taken Saturday night. Ol' G dancin' like tomorrow was never gonna come:

Did this have anything to do with why he wasn't at our game today? Hmmm, we'll never know. Now is that any way for a former Mr. Conehead to act?

And then who knows where those other AWOL Coneheads really are???

Nevertheless, with the crew we did have, we got locked into a defensive battle with the Polar Bears, our opponent in the championship game last year. That game we won 8-7, and this one wasn't much different. 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2 through 5, we never actually trailed and up came Sting with the bases loaded in the top of the sixth and laced a single to left. Game winner, but it was the next blow that gave us the cushion that allowed us to relax just a little. He put one over the right center fielder's head and two more came in and then he scored. The Polar Bears managed to put two up in response, and we added one in the top of the seventh, but they couldn't solve Joe for anything more in the last inning and the victory was ours.

The infield collectively had a very good game. Chuck at third, Knight at SS, and Johnny at 2B fielded everything that came their way, and on one wide throw Heffe came down the line to catch and tag the base runner, and on another dug one out of the dirt. Larry caught a ton of forces at rover covering second, and we nearly had about four double plays as he got rid of the ball quickly. Solid day.

Our newest rookie Aaron caught one that took off on him with a leap. He had a tough first game at the plate, getting robbed on a diving catch. But the hits will come for him. Chuck, back in his right spot, leadoff, had three hits. Knight had a perfect 2-2 plus a sac fly. Gene continued his hot start with a perfect 3-3 including a double. Pope had a double and triple to lead the way in extra base hits.

3-0 feels good, but it would be better if our guys didn't party so hard Saturday night so Joe could relax a little. OK G?

Milestone:

Sting        100 rbi (#10)

Ride the Big Wave!

Things are going so well for Transdyn that we don't miss the Beer Fairy from last year (D's OGF), or even that Sir Guy, after filling that role for a while, stopped and left us dry at the end of our wins. Ah those were the days my friend.

And win we have done in convincing fashion. I don't want to jinx anything but we have dominated the first third of the season as everybody has now played everyone else once, and we swept the series to go to 4-0.

This week the victim was DS Electric. Formerly known as the Big Kahunas. I guess they aren't so big any more as we slaughtered them 24-2. I think the electricity has even been shut off.

This is how it has gone: We hit at least 8 straight hits to start an inning twice. That's twice in three innings. And both times they were all singles. The second time, Rusty screwed it up - he hit a double for our ninth straight hit. After that, D only made an out because he refused to take a walk. He missed intentionally on ball four twice, and then nearly took the third baseman's glove off (he did catch it for a nice play). Bert stepped up and promptly smacked a ball nearly to Hacienda Business Park a mile away. I guess that is what you call an exclamation point!

Three guys with four hits, five with three, and everybody with at least two, now that's all around contributions. Jas scorched the ball every time up - only a leaping catch by the shortstop his first time up prevented a perfect 5-5. Cage led the way with six RBIs, followed by Bert with five.

And really my intention on this post was to just talk about our defense. We have now allowed less than half the number of runs (21) as the next best defense (46). It starts with pitching and Tom's ERA is falling precipitously. He had two Kahuna K's. Brian displayed some nifty glove work on a couple of balls in the hole. Hama at third - well no one knows if he just closed his eyes at just the right time - but he stuck a couple in his glove and got the outs. Nick kept track of one liner that was hit a lot harder than it must have appeared in the outfield, and the ball just kept rising, but Cage stayed with it til the out was made. And D showed some good hustle on a pop up foul behind him on the fence. Never an easy chore. Let me tell you as a first baseman - when I was in my twenties that was easy to get to, and now in my dotage, it would be a challenge. D is somewhere in between so it goes down as a great play.

It's a bad combination for the opposition - stellar defense complimented by a relentless offense. If we keep this up, the sky (a.k.a. Cotton) is the limit.

Ride the Big Wave!

Milestones:
4/19
Cage        900 ab (#5)
Jas           30 bb (#10)
Hama       30 2b (#15)
Tom         50 r (#30)

4/26
Cage        450 rbi (#1)
Tom         200 ab (#24)
Bert          50 rbi (#31)

Just One Look, That's All It Took

What a weird game.

There we were missing seven regulars, Chuck with his mystery injury so he wasn't leading off again, and our lineup didn't resemble anything like, well, our lineup. And the first two innings, we hit, or rather didn't hit like it.

And we had two K's in one inning.

But we scratched a run across a run in the top of the third to take our first lead on a ground out by tours truly. I was wondering if that run was going to have to stand up.

And then...

Our Conehead inning in the fourth started off innocently enough. A walk to Gene (who went 2-2 with two walks and 3 RBIs), and a fly out. But seven singles and a bases loaded walk later, Gene came up again and he busted it open with a two run Conehead double, which was our only extra base hit of the game. After another run scoring single and another bases loaded walk (the Holy Sox pitchers helped us out with eight walks altogether), it was 12-2 and the game might as well be called right then. The final score was 14-2.

Chopper and the Knight led us with three hits, and Pope joined Gene in the three RBI club. Chopper made the acrobatic play of the game on a throw home stretching this way and that while tiptoeing the plate. He can quit his day job - he has a future in the circus. No I didn't mean as a clown but as a trapeze artist.

Knight fought off the sun on a couple of high popups in shallow left, and Pope hung in on a tricky hard hit fly ball that got caught up in the wind. But mostly Joe just sent the Holy Sox back into the dugout after hitting Holy Rollers.

Hopefully we have both halves of our team next week.

Milestones:
4/17
Lefty        200 rbi (#1)
Sting        30 2b (#3)

4/24
Gene        30 bb (#3)
Gene        100 rbi (#9)
Haz          100 r (#10)
Knight      20 bb (#12)

Nobody beats Sunshine 23 times in a row!

Last night Steve Kerr channeled Vitas Gerulaitis in his post game press conference after the Warriors finally took down the Spurs at home after 33 straight losses in San Antone. "With apologies to (Vitas Gerulaitis), I'll use his line," Kerr said, paraphrasing the late tennis great. "Nobody, and I mean nobody, beats the Golden State Warriors 34 straight times. Nobody, you got that?"

And he rode off into the sunset.

The actual quote from Vitas was "And let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row." – after beating Jimmy Connors at the January 1980 Masters. Gerulaitis had lost their previous 16 matches.

Well let me tell you, neither one has anything on Sunshine Saloon. We had lost 22 in a row OVERALL to Boomers in the regular season. None of this home and away stuff. And don't forget the Warriors beat San Antonio in the playoffs in Texas a couple of years ago in the last year before they became Champions.

Instead we also included 4 lost playoff games to the Blasted Boomers over the years. One year we had them 10-5 and coughed it up. Another year in the regular season we had that split game - we had them down 7-0 in the third inning of a game in April where they had everyone at Vegas or somewhere for Tournament play. The Softball Gods ripped open the sky, and since we hadn't made the fourth inning yet they suspended the game when the deluge came. When we continued the game two months later, they outscored us 9-1 for the rest of the innings to win 9-8.

I had given up on this league and was going to quit this season. There was no drama - beat the 4 Speeds a couple, lose to Bada Bing a couple, play competitive against Boomers but go home empty. Make the playoffs only to lose to Boomers again. The OAKS quit the league last year and that was our last actual rival. There was no point. Woe was me. I was feeling sorry for myself.

Then in the off season I ran into the manager of the OAKS in the Walnut Creaker MDSSL league (we were going to be on the same team until I got a job). He said their demise was premature - he had back surgery last year and no one wanted to play while he was recovering. So they are back (pun sort of intended) (by the way he was the one effusively congratulating us after the game as the OAKS took our dugout for the next game).

And we added Pauly and Greg, and Lamont and Chris were coming back (although...), and suddenly there was a glint of hope. Now am I glad I came back, even if the highlights only include this game!

Because we threw off the Monkey. Last time we beat Boomers (6/2/2010) it took an improbable eight run bottom of the sixth to tie them and then they were in such shock they went out without scoring in the seventh and we pushed across a run to win it.

This time, we did spot them a 7-0 lead after two. But we actually kind of dominated them the rest of the way, outscoring them 16-1 over the next five frames. That is no fluke - they had chance after chance to come back. Tom had them all trying to hit 15 run homers because that is what they think they do. But our outfielders tracked them all down. Really Tom had them eating out of his hand. The Hammer hammered it right into our gloves. Mark Green hit towering flies to Frank in left center. Greg ran everything down in left field, as did Gordon and Al on the right side. Everything went our way. I told Tim to play over a couple of steps on one guy and he hit it right to him.

But the story was our offense, which woke up in a big way. There were hits all up in down the lineup. Al, Tim, Steve and Don at the bottom were collectively 12-14 with six RBIs. Bottom of the order hits, we win. Not to be outdone, the top of the lineup had four of six hitters (Tom, Mark, Heff and Paul) with three hits, and Greg had a double and a triple good for three RBIs.

Boomer's Bangers changed their name to the Renegades - their tournament team name. We are undefeated against the Renegades - time to start a different sort of streak.

On Solid Ground

Your Golden State Warriors are the metaphor du jour for all good team play, these days. Who can argue with 72-9 going into the last day of the season, with a chance to take down the all time record for wins in a season in the 70 years of NBA History. We won't mention the other countless records they have set this year, and this is on top of winning the whole shebang last year, yet emerging the hungriest team in the NBA.

The Warriors, as we know, are so good that they get sloppy at times, and this leads to the few losses and close games that shouldn't be. Coach Steve Kerr likes to say that he wants them to play "solid". By this he means make the routine play; be consistent; don't try to be a hero, just make the high percentage play. The outstanding plays will then follow without trying to force them.

Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don't, just as Nick sometimes must throw behind the runner from left center to first base as he did last week. The point is that there is a balance in there somewhere.

Which leads me in my roundabout way to talking about our opener and what this season looks like.

Adding Rusty to the lineup just makes this team SOLID. It's not like we weren't successful before, but sometimes that last piece is what you need to push you to the next championship. No pressure Rusty, but you filled that role for us perfectly.

So that's what I felt driving home from our last game (wanting to actually forget the Warrior loss later that night) - we played solid. It started with good defense in the first, holding a good hitting Brew Crew to a single run. Tom had them reaching to try to jack the ball out all night, and it led to a lot of easy fly ball outs.

And then we came up in the bottom, and after a single, walk, single, single to tie it up and load the bases, up strode our version of the three pointer - Big D. Ironically, Steph Curry is probably about the same height but on the basketball court he looks like a little guy. Not so D on a softball field. He hit a laser shot over the right center fence for the slam and we never looked back.

In the second it came back around to the top of the lineup, and once again, it was Jason, Cage, Rusty and D putting up another five runs, with an assist from Albert, Pauly and Heffe. Solid.

At that point you're thinking, well can we just put up five every inning and win like 30 to whatever?  But instead it got to be a defensive duel in the middle innings - some nice catches by Rusty and Cage, and Albert, and some wildly entertaining dancing if not completed putouts by our prima ballerina third baseman Pauly.

In the fifth we pushed across another two runs, and in the sixth Rusty put the icing on the cake with a three run Jack; he had flirted with a couple of long fouls and a deep flyout and had to settle for two hard line drive singles to that point. He was determined to put it out. Just in time, I might add, to make Bert's followup deep fly a single as we were over the limit. So Bert had to settle for a quiet 4-4, and will probably complain that D and Rusty took all his RBI chances away. Which they did.

But again with the Warriors comparison - it's about the extra pass, in our case the extra at bat, and we are solid from 1-12 this year in the lineup.

Milestone:
Bert        100 ab (#40)