I owe the inspiration for this post to my partner in crime Julia.
We were speeding down to Phoenix for Thanksgiving with my sister and her family.
Now Julia gets a little nervous in a car, in general. So my driving method (perfectly safe as far as I am concerned), which may be a little aggressive and fast (unlike my base running for example) tends to make her do things like scream or grip the door tightly. Or both.
I try to calm her down by explaining something I heard I think in traffic school about the benefit of riding motorcycles ten mph faster than the traffic around you. That is, if you are passing everyone, it eliminates 50% of the cars (the ones you passed) as candidates to strike you and cause you harm. I have taken this to heart whenever I am in a car or on a motorcycle.
This does not soothe Julia. Instead, she offers, "You drive like a Grandpa on Meth!"
And when I reflected on this (after the laughter subsided), I thought about the comment in the context of our Conehead softball season and year. We need to play like Grandpas on Meth (GOM), if we are to return to our former glory. We just had a year without Cotton. Unacceptable.
Think about it. Think about Sting. Before he got hurt (and I am sure when he comes back), he played and will play like a GOM. But even though we are mostly old enough to be grandpas, most of us don't all have the ability to generate that level of adrenaline like Sting does. So - this off season I expect each and every one of you to start taking and build up the level in your system the stimulant of your choice (dex or bennies or meth or crank, glass, chalk, redneck cocaine, yellow powder, yellow barn, Tina, Tick-Tock, Go, Spoosh, or Scootie) so that by first pitch in the spring we are hitting on all 8 cylinders. or 200. Whatever, what we want is for the fans in the stands to cry out - Look! They are playing like Grandpas on Meth!
Guaranteed to win or die trying!
And then, we can change our team name - the COKEHEADS! Teams everywhere will be so intimidated, they will just lay down before us.
Amen.
I should stop now, but I have to say something about the season and year that did just pass. It was kind of a lost year from a cotton standpoint, but there were some highlights and some fun.
Johnny had a monster fall season. He hit .773, and some of his few outs were loud. Patrick had the best season taking into consideration both sides of the ballgame - .750 and who knows how many runners gunned down that kept us in games. Pope hit the long ball like no other time - he obliterated the record for home runs in a calendar year since we went to shortened seasons in 2013. He doubled the previous record with twelve dingers, and drove in the second highest number of runs in that period with 52. Led the team the team in runs, hits, doubles, game winners, SFs, slugging, on base and overall batting average.
But perhaps the most intangible best hitter all year was Ol' G. I don't have quite the metrics to prove it, but it seemed like every time we needed a hit to drive in an important run, it was G who delivered.
In the playoffs the stars were Gene and Chopper. Neither made an out. Gene walked four times to go with four hits, netting six RBIs to lead the team. Chopper hit a blast for a triple one for one of our few extra base hits.
So get some rest but work out in the off-season, get ready for the spring, AND EAT YOUR BENNIES!
Milestones:
10/30 Game 1:
Gene 100 bb (#4)
Ol' G 950 ab (#9)
D 600 ab (#15)
Chopper 250 r (#16)
Randy 20 bb (#20)
Patrick 50 ab (#40)
10/30 Game 2:
Pope 800 rbi (#1)
Randy 100 rbi (#24)
11/6:
Pope 750 h (#5)
Patrick 10 bb (#25)
We were speeding down to Phoenix for Thanksgiving with my sister and her family.
Now Julia gets a little nervous in a car, in general. So my driving method (perfectly safe as far as I am concerned), which may be a little aggressive and fast (unlike my base running for example) tends to make her do things like scream or grip the door tightly. Or both.
I try to calm her down by explaining something I heard I think in traffic school about the benefit of riding motorcycles ten mph faster than the traffic around you. That is, if you are passing everyone, it eliminates 50% of the cars (the ones you passed) as candidates to strike you and cause you harm. I have taken this to heart whenever I am in a car or on a motorcycle.
This does not soothe Julia. Instead, she offers, "You drive like a Grandpa on Meth!"
And when I reflected on this (after the laughter subsided), I thought about the comment in the context of our Conehead softball season and year. We need to play like Grandpas on Meth (GOM), if we are to return to our former glory. We just had a year without Cotton. Unacceptable.
Think about it. Think about Sting. Before he got hurt (and I am sure when he comes back), he played and will play like a GOM. But even though we are mostly old enough to be grandpas, most of us don't all have the ability to generate that level of adrenaline like Sting does. So - this off season I expect each and every one of you to start taking and build up the level in your system the stimulant of your choice (dex or bennies or meth or crank, glass, chalk, redneck cocaine, yellow powder, yellow barn, Tina, Tick-Tock, Go, Spoosh, or Scootie) so that by first pitch in the spring we are hitting on all 8 cylinders. or 200. Whatever, what we want is for the fans in the stands to cry out - Look! They are playing like Grandpas on Meth!
Guaranteed to win or die trying!
And then, we can change our team name - the COKEHEADS! Teams everywhere will be so intimidated, they will just lay down before us.
Amen.
I should stop now, but I have to say something about the season and year that did just pass. It was kind of a lost year from a cotton standpoint, but there were some highlights and some fun.
Johnny had a monster fall season. He hit .773, and some of his few outs were loud. Patrick had the best season taking into consideration both sides of the ballgame - .750 and who knows how many runners gunned down that kept us in games. Pope hit the long ball like no other time - he obliterated the record for home runs in a calendar year since we went to shortened seasons in 2013. He doubled the previous record with twelve dingers, and drove in the second highest number of runs in that period with 52. Led the team the team in runs, hits, doubles, game winners, SFs, slugging, on base and overall batting average.
But perhaps the most intangible best hitter all year was Ol' G. I don't have quite the metrics to prove it, but it seemed like every time we needed a hit to drive in an important run, it was G who delivered.
In the playoffs the stars were Gene and Chopper. Neither made an out. Gene walked four times to go with four hits, netting six RBIs to lead the team. Chopper hit a blast for a triple one for one of our few extra base hits.
So get some rest but work out in the off-season, get ready for the spring, AND EAT YOUR BENNIES!
Milestones:
10/30 Game 1:
Gene 100 bb (#4)
Ol' G 950 ab (#9)
D 600 ab (#15)
Chopper 250 r (#16)
Randy 20 bb (#20)
Patrick 50 ab (#40)
10/30 Game 2:
Pope 800 rbi (#1)
Randy 100 rbi (#24)
11/6:
Pope 750 h (#5)
Patrick 10 bb (#25)
