Band of Brothers...

..and what do brothers do? They fight. More on this later.

In the game story, the Coneheads rode Lefty's back to squeak out a 7-6 win over a slightly improved Slammers team to remain undefeated at 6-0. I never doubted the game's outcome - we had the hammer and the Slammers were slamming nothing on us.

Lefty strode up in the first inning with two on and two out. The right fielder was playing about 50 feet behind the second baseman. I could see drool coming out of the corner of Lefty's mouth. He promptly deposited the ball deep into right center and the right fielder was caught flatfooted. The right center fielder gave chase but it was too late. Lefty followed Pope and Ol' G and scored easily and we were up 3-0.

You'd think that this was the beginning of one of our classical routs, but umpire Terry Mason kept the Slammers in the game with an exceedingly generous strike zone. Guys on both teams were bending this way and that to swing at garbage because he was calling everything a strike. We only hit .500 as a team and Ol' G was the only one of us with three hits, although Lefty and Chuck were 2-2. Bruce only had one hit in his return from the long list of long lost Coneheads, but one ball he lasered right at the right center fielder, who was lucky he didn't get knocked down.

You have to credit the Slammers - they never gave up and stayed within a run from the third inning to the end. But Ol 'G and Lefty drove in our sixth and seventh runs in the bottom of the sixth, and those proved necessary as the Slammers did rally for three in the seventh.

Speaking of that rally, how do you get the Stink Eye AND the Stink Mouth for actually making a play? I pulled that one off during that last inning. The Slammers had a runner on first, and the next hitter knocked a single to the outfield; I think a different runner scored, and the throw came to Joe on the mound. The runner on first assumed the guy in front of him was going to third and was half way to second when Joe got the ball. He made a quick decision and snapped a throw to me at first. The runner was a dead duck. He was too far to chase down and I looked up and the runner ahead was frozen in brain lock. So I chased the hitter. At second it was a cluster of Randy (SS), Ol' G (2B), Hazel (Rover) and the two runners. I figured if he kept going I could eventually tag one or the other out, rather than risk a throw into the crowd, and getting into a rundown. At that point the lead runner panicked and took off to third, way too late. Even with my candy-ass arm it was an easy lob to Chuck at third and he tagged him out.

And then, Joe erupted at me! Stink this stink that! You stink! Why did you do that? That was the wrong play! Well me and Joe, we are like brothers and I wasn't backing down. I may have even said a bad word as I not so politely told him to move the muscles near the opening in his face to please close the orifice.

I could write a book about all the times we have argued. If we were ten, we would have fallen to the ground wrestling til Mom came and separated us. Now there's an image for you. As it was, we managed to eventually take it off the field.

At the end of the game they made us hug and make up. I think we were over it anyway. I'm just glad there was no kissing required. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Now there is another image for you.

Milestone:
Chuck        550 ab (#1)

The Glass is Half Full

If Kruk and Kuip and Miller and Flem were doing their player of the game schtick on the post-game wrap after our Transdyn game, it would go like this: First someone would take Chopper for getting a sweet hit down the right field line with the bases loaded in the second when the score was still 0-0. This turned out to be the Game Winning RBI as he plated two.

The next would take D for his huge 2 run blast to right center the following inning that increased the lead to 5-0. We all knew the game was over at that point.

Then the third announcer would take me, just for the novelty of getting the base runner interference call in the fourth or fifth inning. It broke the back of any potential rally that inning.

Then Jon Miller would say something like, "I don't know what game you guys were watching. Did you notice that the game was a shutout? in slowpitch softball? And then they would all laugh as Jon picked Tom as the game's MVP. Not only did he pitch his personal second shutout in two days (the night before he tossed one in Livermore), but he made the defensive play of the game, a sharp grounder that he snared out of the air and turned into a crisp 1-6-3 double play.

Including Tom, our defense continues to dominate the league. We have now allowed 28 runs in 6 games - that's 4.67 runs per game for you non-math majors. our hitting isn't too bad either as we trail only the Sons of Pitches in runs scored and they have played an extra game.

The glass is now half full - we are 6-0 after the first half of the season. This week we play the Sons of P again - I won't say that the race is over if we win, but let's just say I will smell regular season cotton if we put it to them. We would be two games up on the loss side plus tie breaker guaranteed with five games left. Fill 'er up!

Milestones:

D             200 r (#10)
Chopper  10 bb (#11)
Brian        10 bb (#22)

Little Baby GooseHeads

Sunday's Conehead game was not a thriller for the fans. It was pretty hum-drum as a matter of fact. Final score 10-2 over an Advanced Construction team that has advanced to the cellar this season.

The box score shows a bunch of 1-2s and 1-3s (exception Sting with a perfect 3-3) with a smattering of two hit games (Pope, Lefty and Ol' G). In fact if it were not for the right fielder falling down and not getting up on Haz's base hit to right that turned into a home run (which provided the lead for good), we might have fallen asleep in the dugout. Thanks Jeff.

So, to liven things up I came up with this: On Saturday, I had to work all day at the Oracle Redwood Shores headquarters on a meter installation project. By work I mean as the project manager, I waited around while the people who did the real work performed their tasks installing water and gas meters. I was to meet the crew foreman later in the morning to go over some meter installation details, so I had this moment where I was just waiting for him. And Lo, here came Joe, the mom, followed by Chuck, Heffe and Chopper the slow baby geese, and then I think it was Haz, the dad, bringing up the rear. Take a look:

This is titled, "Coneheads Crossing the Sidewalk", soon to appear at a theater near you.

You can see I had to dig deep this week. 5-0 is 5-0, which is great but can we have some drama next week?

Milestones:

None

The Goat

One month ago, I wrote about my Sunshine Saloon team breaking a 22 game losing streak to the prior league dominating team formerly known as Boomers' Bangers now called the Renegades, which is their name in tournament play.

Last night we reverted to form - down 19-5 going into the bottom of the seventh. Maybe it was all a dream.

And then, it happened. It started innocently enough with a single and a walk and a force out. And then - 11 hits, an error, another walk and a sac fly, and it was suddenly 19-18 with the tying run on third and winning run on first with two outs.

The big blows were base loaded, bases clearing triples by Mark and Don. But obviously everyone contributed.

And then I came up. And I hit a medium hard ground ball up the middle that on another night might have seen the outfield grass, but on this night the second baseman cut it off and got the force at second to end the game.

I let the team down, even if no one would say it. Or maybe I just let myself down, I like to think I get the big hit in big situations. But the cliche goes, "there is no I in team", so I guess we lose as a team just as we win as a team.

Still.

Maaaaaaa.

But glass half full. We can play with these guys. We were missing two of our best hitters, and best outfielders. It's all spilt milk now, but we will see these guys again in the regular season and almost surely in the first round of the playoffs. I can't wait cause I owe everyone a big hit, and dammit I'll get it next time.

Serve It Up

Believe it or not, I try really hard to not make this about me. I mean, I am but one small cog on my teams.

But Tuesday night in our Transdyn game, we beat the Brews Bros so thoroughly that the only drama was when Tom gave up a solo home run in the bottom of the fifth with the score 17-2 and we had to play another inning. And then in the sixth another (and then another but it was just a single since they had the limit two). So the final score was 17-7, and it wasn't that close. What to write about?

Well, I am bitter.

Why are you bitter, you ask?

I'm glad you asked. Here's the thing. The Brews Bros' pitcher, who knows D and maybe some others on our team through his father, came up to D and me as we watched the Sons of Pitches win the game before ours. He was real friendly-like, and chatted with D, and then introduced himself to me. He noted that he was the pitcher that night (little did we know that his wildness would greatly help our cause) and somehow the subject of home runs came up and I noted how I no longer have the power I never had - and he volunteered to throw me a gopher ball during the game. What a nice young man, I thought.

And then, the game. He gave me nada. Unless maybe his definition of gopher ball is different than mine. Because in the first inning he walked me on four pitches with the bases loaded to give me an RBI. There was my gift, because after that I couldn't get it out of the infield.

Bitter. Gopher, my ass.

Luckily, between the eight walks he issued we had plenty of guys to bang the ball off and over the wall.

The big blow was in the top of the third. We nursed a 3-2 lead through the second and D brought home our fourth run with a single (his second of three in a row). Up stepped Bert and towered one over the left field fence and suddenly it was 7-2 and this one was over. Clutch two out hits by Mario and a two-bagger by Jas, and it was 10-2 by inning's end. We added on in the next two innings until it was the aforementioned 17-2.

Cage continued his tear through this season with two scorched doubles including one to straight-away center (!) among four hits. He's hitting a cool .800. Only a lightning quick line drive right at the third baseman's glove kept him from a five for five night. Rusty had a very interesting night - it's hard to say they walked him intentionally since we had eight altogether but he had three his first three times up. Then he added a run scoring single to make it a perfect night. Bert led the way with six RBIs all told in a 3-3-and a SF night.

The defense was solid, but really Tom made it easy on us. Brian gets the walking wounded award, he took a couple of really bad hops off his body. We turned one DP. Rene made a great catch in the dusk gloom when the light is toughest.

Still perfect, one more win and we make it halfway through the season unblemished. Let's get it next game!

But I won't listen to the opposing pitcher any more. Damned millennials.

Milestones:

D           20 gw (#3)
Mario    600 ab (#10)
Jas        150 rbi (#13)
Brian     50 r (#32)

Can of Corn

This team is tough, relentless.

No I don't mean on the field - well, yes I do, but we'll get to that shortly.

What is tough is the razzing - before the games, during the games (not to mention the Stink Eye), and after the games - especially when we win.

In the last inning of our rout of Chico's Bail Bonds Sunday (final score 25-5) a ball was clobbered to right field. Our right fielder Haz (pronounce Haze) got a great jump, ran back to the spot, just like your coaches told you to do when you were ten, and turned around. His instincts were so good that when he turned around the ball was right there, and he reached up and snatched it.

It made almost no difference in the game's outcome, other than the final score, but underlined why JFT or the Coneheads or whatever we are at this juncture is so on top of this league - we play every play like it matters (it does) and we play excellent defense, which is rare in rec league softball.

But - by the time the Razzers came out on the sidelines over our beer and water, Haz was told, ah that was routine. Can of Corn. What else were you thinking?

And we all laughed. Including Haz. But we also all knew the truth, that Haz would make the same play if it was 18-17 and there were two outs and the tying run was on third, which is what makes us great.

Add to the defensive gems a couple of shots up the middle that Johnny stopped, filling in for Knight at Schmiddler. One he threw too low for the force and then they came right back at him on the next play and this time he was ready and got the out.

There may have been one or two heros on offense as well. There was no Conehead inning this game. Instead we did something I can't remember us ever doing - we scored at least four runs in every inning. 4-6-6-5-4 for 25 total in five innings. Can't really beat that.

We did it with a balance in the lineup that was remarkable in itself. Every player had a hit, a run and an RBI, and we batted 14. Sting was 2-2 with two walks including one with the bases loaded. Lefty, Ol' G, Johnny and Heffe were 3-3.

Sting had perhaps the most important hit of the game. In the second inning when we were 'muddling' along only up 7-2, with two outs he cleared the bases with a three run blast to left center. That pretty much sealed the deal less than one and a half innings into the game.

But it was Big D who stole the show. His next time up, leading off the third, he hit a ball that nearly made it into the trees on a fly. The right fielder saw it roll into the trees and pleaded mercy, aka ground rule double. Yeah right. D with his new found legs was already on his way to third, and there was no way it was a not a home run.

Then in the next inning he got a chance with runners on. He hit a shot that he claimed he got under, straight down the line. I'm told that it also made the trees (I couldn't see it from my angle in the dugout), and this time it was a three run Can of Corn only there was no can, just sweet corn. The rout continued until Chico's cried uncle after the fifth.

I swear in the handshake line I could read their eyes and thoughts - "Who are these guys?"

And the answer, of course, is we are the guys who turn tough catches into cans of corn.

* In last week's post, I mentioned the key hit of the game ("he put one over the right center fielder's head"), but the hitter remained unnamed. Sorry about that Pope.

Milestones:
Sting        10 hr (#1)
Heffe       150 rbi (#3)
Johnny     50 h (#21)

Grind and Bear It

Again, we had to play shorthanded.

Randy, D, Lefty, Bruce, Buddha, and Ol' G all missing.

And they all seemed to have good reasons to be away.

But then I stumbled upon this, taken Saturday night. Ol' G dancin' like tomorrow was never gonna come:

Did this have anything to do with why he wasn't at our game today? Hmmm, we'll never know. Now is that any way for a former Mr. Conehead to act?

And then who knows where those other AWOL Coneheads really are???

Nevertheless, with the crew we did have, we got locked into a defensive battle with the Polar Bears, our opponent in the championship game last year. That game we won 8-7, and this one wasn't much different. 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2 through 5, we never actually trailed and up came Sting with the bases loaded in the top of the sixth and laced a single to left. Game winner, but it was the next blow that gave us the cushion that allowed us to relax just a little. He put one over the right center fielder's head and two more came in and then he scored. The Polar Bears managed to put two up in response, and we added one in the top of the seventh, but they couldn't solve Joe for anything more in the last inning and the victory was ours.

The infield collectively had a very good game. Chuck at third, Knight at SS, and Johnny at 2B fielded everything that came their way, and on one wide throw Heffe came down the line to catch and tag the base runner, and on another dug one out of the dirt. Larry caught a ton of forces at rover covering second, and we nearly had about four double plays as he got rid of the ball quickly. Solid day.

Our newest rookie Aaron caught one that took off on him with a leap. He had a tough first game at the plate, getting robbed on a diving catch. But the hits will come for him. Chuck, back in his right spot, leadoff, had three hits. Knight had a perfect 2-2 plus a sac fly. Gene continued his hot start with a perfect 3-3 including a double. Pope had a double and triple to lead the way in extra base hits.

3-0 feels good, but it would be better if our guys didn't party so hard Saturday night so Joe could relax a little. OK G?

Milestone:

Sting        100 rbi (#10)