The Cone Zone

I was told that Monday was a doubleheader for the ages to blog about. The Coneheads came back not once but twice in a statement doubleheader - especially the first game against last year's runner up The Cream and Clear. They could have had first place - all they had to do was beat us by 20 runs, or just beat us and hope we fell flat in the second game. Which we threatened to do.

But it was not to be as we swept the games to end up undefeated, 8-0. And in the process we eliminated the second opponent, Team Confusion, to boot. So to speak.

I was a little distracted. I had a radio to listen to the Cardinals-Giants Game 7 of the NLCS. Those that know me know I am a die hard Cardinals fan. This was a dream series for me - my boyhood team against the local favorite, and yes I like the Giants too. I got my wish, that it would go seven. Someone had to lose and it turned out to be my Cardinals. Yes, they won it all last year. Yes, they have won more World Championships than any other National League team, including five in my lifetime. But they also have lost several in that time when they were up 3-1 in the series - the 1968 and 1985 World Series, the 1996 and now the 2012 NLCS. So I was in agony as the Giants were pummeling the Cardinals 9-0. And when I couldn't listen any more with headphones and a radio, the other team had a boombox blaring in the dugout when I went over to play first base.

So yes, I was a little distracted, and then after I didn't know exactly what to write about. But today, on my commute, something happened, and it brought it all back from my subconscious. I was on the the freeway, and suddenly, in front of me was a CalTrans truck. And here is what I saw on the bumper:

In case you can't see it, it says, "Slow for the CONE ZONE".

And that is what our opponents are forced to do. They might be faster than us. They might even have some power. They are younger than us. But they must wilt in the power of the Cone Zone. They are forced there as if Rod Serling.himself showed them to the door of the Cone Zone. They go in and they come out just beaten down. It happens. Over and over.

The Cream and Clear and Team Confusion thought they had us. In the first game, thanks to a ball that Sting hit to almost Clayton (it was into the trees in deepest right field - a three run homer) we had a smallish Conehead rally (only seven runs) to go up 8-5 in the third. The Cream rose to the top to take a lead of 10-9 going into the sixth, which the ump said would be our last inning. We had two outs and one on, down to our last breath - and proceeded to get eight straight batters on base. Their pitcher helped us out with two of them on walks - but that is just a testament to our ability as veterans that we will take a walk and let someone else be the hero - and they usually reward us by stepping up. In this case it was Chuck who got the two run single that gave us a lead. And then Lefty started his evening's late inning heroics with a blast into the middle gap that cleared the bases and gave us the cushion that took the wind out of the Clear sails. Final 17-10, as we shut them down without even so much as a whimper in the last of the sixth.

In the nightcap we kind of relaxed, knowing we had clinched first place. All we had left to do was to get that undefeated season, our second in the last three falls (Giants fans - sound familiar?). We weren't hitting at all, except for a huge blast by Randy leading off the third. Through five innings we had all of seven hits, and had just been through the lineup twice.

Larry and then D were dealing too, and it was like a baseball pitcher's duel, whoever heard of a 2-2 tied in softball through five innings? It seemed like whoever broke through first was going to run away with it, and sure enough it was Team Confusion, who piled seven runs on to start the sixth.But this is the Coneheads, and we just are not phased.We cracked eight hits in nine batters in the bottom of the sixth to keep the opponent within reach, trailing by one going into the seventh.

An aside - to that moment Lefty was having quite a game. His first time up, he had a flashback to the golf tee...his swing would have given him a great drive on a 500 foot hole. Perfect form, except that it was the wrong sport and he swung under the lobbed softball. Steeerike Three! Next time up, he got two strikes on him and decided he better not repeat that performance. Instead he is a hard ball grounder right to the second baseman, and the only thing that kept him out of a double play was a bad relay throw. We caught a break - because of that throw a run scored and Lefty had an RBI. That is the one that tied it 2-2. And his third time up - he made the only out in that six run sixth in between nine hits.

So the stage was set. We held Confusion to one run in the top of the seventh as Larry came back in and kept them from a big inning. Down two, last of the seventh. Gene and Chuck did what needed to get done - they got on to set up the tying runs with Sting up. He hit yet another gapper, tying it up and he stood at third as the winning run. The only question was who would be the final hero. All we needed was a medium deep fly ball, and Reg would score.

Well what would you do if you were Team Confusion? I'm sure the fact that Lefty was 0-3 with a K had nothing to do with it, but they proceeded to intentionally walk D and Greg to get to him with force plays set up everywhere. Talk about your chance for redemption. He could have just tried to blast the ball to make sure Sting scored, but instead he hit a beautiful line drive hit to RC and it was over.

Undefeated - it's hard to do even in softball. There are so many things that can align on a given night to keep you from winning, no matter how overmatched the other team might be in some cases. We can enjoy that all we want, until - now. Because the ultimate goal is Cotton, and for this we need four more wins. The second season is just starting tomorrow night, and don't you think that Cream and Clear and the rest would just love to knock us off? You better believe it. Eternal vigilance is called for. We won't have our big weapon Joe, with or without the Stink Eye, he's busy striving for salvation in the Holy Land. Larry has held these teams without many runs too though, and as long as we get him a few, one Conehead inning a game, and keep at it, we can get Cotton. Again. Should be fun.

See you there. May you have many Conehead hits in your future. Then you will know, you have stepped into the...wait for it...the Cone Zone.

Milestones:
(Game 1)
Chuck        550 rbi (#2)
Lefty          20 2b (#22)
Markley     150 ab (#23)
(Game 2)
Chuck        1450 ab (#1)
Larry          1100 ab (#5)
D               30 bb (#14)

Namo Amitofu

It was a beautiful day Tuesday. Sparklingly clear from the recent rains, warm, sunny. A great day to play two that night for the playoff championship for Transdyn. We would be the favorites - but it is a competitive league, and we lost last week for our first loss of the season to end up 9-1. Our confidence was not broken, but there was a shred of doubt that crept in.

In the late morning, I went out for a smoke break, minding my own business, and thinking about the games that night, and a little Chinese Buddhist woman comes right up to me and says - "Namo Ami - Tofu."

Say what?

"Namo Amitofu."

Now I work in downtown Oakland in a start-up company where the average age is about 27, as young as my kids. I mean the CEO is all of 31. And it is just off Chinatown, and believe it or not downtown Oakland these days is full of hipsters and hipsterer coffee houses and hipsterest vegan restaurants. I thought she must be talking about some tofu joint up the street where I could go to lunch.

She wouldn't let it go. "Namo Amitofu." She stared at me. Finally she says, "It means good luck. Just repeat it over and over all day long and you will have good luck."

Well now I get it. This was a sign about the playoffs. Because we know how superstitious ball players are. And if some random Buddhist is going to accost me on the street and tell me to repeat Good Luck all day long on the day of playoffs, by god I will repeat it all day long. And so I did.

It didn't work all that well Tuesday - they postponed the games until next week because the fields were torn up from the rains. But the jury is still out, and I still want all my teammates to repeat it over and over again come this Tuesday - maybe I will even eat some tofu. And then we will see.

We did have a loss as I said. It was only by one run, and we were missing two of our best hitters in Hama and Mario. You gotta figure they are worth a run or more. But we played a little lackluster, and spotted the Pacheco Brothers five runs, and then after we fought back to take a 9-8 lead, let them come back to retake the lead at 12-9, and we just couldn't push enough across to win. Final score 12-11.

RB and Cage did what they have been doing all season and tried to carry us, RB with 4-4 and two doubles, and Cage with a massive three run homer. And Timmy and Jason and even Heffe, Mr. Slump on Tuesdays, had three hits each. Jason does get the tough guy award. After taking a beating on a hot shot that blew up his hand/arm, he came to the dugout to ice it only to find out he was leading off. So he went out and hit a bomb over the fence so he could get back to the dugout and his ice. Very efficient.

We just couldn't get the big hit when we needed to and left too many guys on base, bases loaded once and two guys on three times. And couldn't break out that big inning that has marked our other games, and totally demoralizes the opposition.

It wasn't a total loss - we collected our regular season Cotton. And there are ways to rationalize it - it's hard to go undefeated all the way through the playoffs. Well now we don't have to worry about that. We can just go into Tuesday vowing to ourselves and each other that we want to get to the last game, and when we get to it, just finish it right. If we are back to ourselves, it won't be a problem. We can be relentless and we have the best pitcher in the league, and the best defense.

And if all else fails - just keep chanting - Namo Amitofu, Namo Amitofu.

Milestones:

Coop       500 r (#1)
Cage        30 hr (#2)
Cage        200 g (#7)
RB           50 r (#27)

The Cone of Many Colors

To the Coneheads, softball is like our religion. We pray in the dugout, we play on the field.

Our little Jewish pitcher from Brooklyn, the man with remade knees and the greatest Stink-eye softball has ever seen, is making his pilgrimage to the Holy Land. They taught us as kids that every Jew must make the pilgrimage to Israel before we die. It is an imperative. And so Joe will miss our playoffs, slated to start a week after our season ending double header this Monday.

Joe has died many times on the field...when one of our outfielders makes an error, when someone pops up with runners on base, when we have a bonehead running gaff, and get caught off base on a line drive for a double play. And the result is the same...you don't want to meet his Eye when you come to the dugout, because he wants you to share this particular death. Or, better yet he will will it on you.

Even so, Joe died a little every time we lost a game because he is such a competitor. So he is a little late in his sojourn, but as they say, better late than never.

And this makes me a little afraid for the homeland of my people. Because in 6000 years or whatever it has been, have they ever been in the presence of the Stink Eye?

Israel has seen the destruction of the First Temple, the Second Temple, the sacking of Jerusalem, and in more recent times, the Intifadas, and innumerable terrorist attacks.

But suppose this scenario gets played out: Joe is moved by seeing the homeland. So much so, that he decides to go to the Wailing Wall, that famous sidewall of the temple mount from ancient times, and pray to the Gods of softball. He prays for rain, a deluge in Walnut Creek, California, USA, on October 29th, or November 3rd, or November 5th, the dates of our playoff games that he will miss, so he can play in the postponed games.

He is humbly beseeching the Lord, saying, "Lord of the Hosts, it is I, Joseph of the Cone of many colors. Please let it rain just once, so I can be a part of the playoffs, even if just the last night." He pauses to see if there is anything different in the air, a sign, anything. And then suddenly, a booming voice bellows out, blanketing the city, and terrifying the citizens: "Joseph! Joseph of the Cone of Many Colors! How dare you think that I will part the heavens and the skies, just to appease an old Conehead! How many championships are enough? How can you be so greedy when in this world there is so much poverty and violence, and pain and suffering?"

And the Lord stopped, and waited for the humbled man to fall to his knees and beseech Him for his forgiveness and mercy, and be on his way.

But not our Chief Conehead. Joe looks up, shakes his fist, and cries out, "It's NEVER enough, don't you GET IT???", and then, he turns, and faces the Wall, and calls up the biggest Stink Eye he has ever conjured.

It is still for a moment, and then with a rolling, thunderous roar, the Wall, which has stood for almost 3000 years, comes crashing down, split into a million smithereens...so sing with me...

Joseph fit the battles of Conehead Ball, Conehead Ball, Conehead Ball...
Joseph fit the battles of Conehead Ball, and the Wall came tumbling down.

You may talk about the men of Walnut Creek,
You may talk about the men of Orinda,
But there's none like good old Joseph
And the battle of Conehead Ball!

I just hope he stays clear of the Red Sea. Once was enough for it to part.

Ah, I know what you are thinking, you ask, does this have the slightest connection to our latest win on Monday? Well not at all, but I will tie it in.

Joe did get the thunderous hit of the game. It was a night we scuffled, and played down to the last place team we were playing, the 0-6 Shenanigans. We spotted them a 5-1 lead going into the bottom of the second. After a leadoff hit by the Heffinator, and a force out and a couple of hits to load the bases, up stood Joseph, and placed a perfect ball over the first baseman's head down the right field line to score two. Even though it only made it 5-3, it snapped us out of our spell. We went on to score four more to take a 7-5 lead, the big blow a smash double by Big D. It wasn't a huge lead, and even though the Shenanigans kept it close the rest of the game, we eventually won 12-10 to stay undefeated going into the last week of the regular season. And to cap off a good night, Joe came in for the save up two runs in the seventh, and got three outs on grounders, and made a great stop on one of the grounders himself.

Big games from Greg the Knight with 3-3 including a homer and a double, and Randy and Gene, also 3-3.

So we enter the season-ending doubleheader with a chance to go 8-0 and make a statement going into the playoffs that we are not ready to relinquish the championship. We play the two next best teams, so we will have to be on our toes, even as Joe is putting his in the Dead Sea. I like our chances to pull it off.

Milestones:

Joe          350 g (#1)
Gene       450 h (#11)
Sting        650 ab (#13)
Knight     100 h (#23)

Ode to Mongo

Sad but true, Alex Karras passed away this week. In fact, the same day that Sunshine roared back from an 11-6 deficit through four innings to overwhelm Jolly Rogers 17-13 and clinch a playoff spot in the process. That's right, we have clinched a playoff spot with a 6-3 record to date, and we can finish third with a win next week.

The reason I bring up Alex Karras is, of course, that he famously played a character named Mongo in Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles, which had to be one of the funniest movies of all time. Personally, when I saw it, it was the only movie where I literally fell off my seat from laughing too hard - I kid you not. Karras had a hall-of-fame caliber career as a lineman in the NFL, and was in a starring role in a sitcom - but that was his defining moment.

Mongo the character was a member of the bad guy gang and he was a complete dumbass. In fact, if you look up Mongo in the Urban Dictionary, the fourth meaning is complete idiot, moron, or dumbass.

And we have our own Mongo - Steve A. I don't know where Steve got his nickname, one can only wonder. I have never seen him in the same place as a horse - Alex famously slugged a horse in the movie and knocked him out with one punch. I have never seen our Mongo near a horse, so I can't say anything about who would win that fight.

Take a look at the other meanings for Mongo: 2. Derogatory. Someone who suffers from Down's Syndrome (i.e. short for Mongoloid). Well, Steve, I can't comment on that either, wouldn't be PC.

Our Mongo can hit the ball. "Mongo see ball. Mongo hit ball. Mongo run to first. Mongo run to second. Mongo run to third." You see, Mongo the character always referred to himself in the third person. Steve, though, takes to heart the first and third definition of Mongo - something about always leading with the wrong foot while riding a skateboard."Mongo is a skateboard pushing style. Mainly used by tools who can't figure out how to skateboard. You push with your front foot instead of your back foot."

With his sore Achilles, this is how Steve is running. And he pushed a beautiful shot down the right field line to start the sixth, and pushed his way all the way to third. When Darrell pounded the next ball to the fence in left, we had our first lead and one we would not give up.

These heroics were set up by some memorable performances. Reggie hit a three run blast in the previous inning that brought us into the game at 11-9. And after a couple of hits by Mark W and Heffe, Sir Guy just crushed a ball over the drawn in outfield (no respect) that plated our fifth run and we were tied.

Tom and Mark stayed hot with perfect 4-4 nights - they are both hitting over .800 this season. Three more from Reggie, Larry and Heffe, and everyone contributed. Winning is still about a lot of little things and one of the best at bats was by Bob, who drew a leadoff walk in the third. We hadn't scored to that point and when Larry brought him around it changed the whole outlook of the game.

One more to go and the bonus is we won't be through no matter what happens. This will be especially fun for Sir Guy and me - our longtime teammate and shortstop Doc has been pitching of late for Bad Seed. So let's keep the MOmeNtum GOing - channel our collective Mongo.

Walkoff Part K

The tension was palpable. The air was thick with anticipation. Insert random cliche. Two outs, only the bottom of the fifth, but the clock was winding down. Less than a minute to go. The winning run was on first. I needed a solid triple to end it. Derek's legs have not been there for him in a while, he is facing off-season knee surgery. I really have to muscle up to get him all the way home. I haven't been getting the ball out of the infield lately. The pressure was almost too much to bear. I worked the count, took a ball, then a strike, fouled one off, took another ball. The seconds were checking down...10...9...8...7...the ball floated in, I didn't like it, it was outside but too close to take...I swung...

Foul Ball! Strike Three! Time is out! Game over! A Walk-off K! We win 26-13!

Now how many of you can say you have done that?

I also got the game-winning hit, when I knocked in the third run in our runaway twelve run first. And the game really was over then. What would you guys do without me?

Well, that is not really what I wanted to write about. What I really wanted to write about was this - even though everyone has contributed greatly to our 9-0 start with only one left for a perfect regular season, three guys have been carrying us all season...and amazingly they bat 3-4-5 in the lineup.

Cage has been on fire all season long. Need a line drive, there it is. Need a bomb, he serves those up too. He has a fall season record five with one game left. And we won't even talk about his defense in LC.

RB has a chance to catch Cage for the fall home run record. He has four. Tuesday night's was particularly impressive...it was being carried by the wind to left field and still carried over the fence, oppo on field three in left center. It was the three run Jack that finished the twelve run first. His six RBIs gave him 27 for the season. Just call him Superman. Fast than a speeding bullet...more powerful than a ...etc. etc. etc. He is the infusion of youth that put us over the top. RB has already smashed the RBI record for a year, with 60.

Hama is not far behind. He literally can hit it wherever, however, and how far he wants with just about any pitch. He is neck and neck with Cage with 29 and 30 RBIs respectively, good for second and third all time for a season with a game left. Hama helped his cause along with a seven RBI game including a Grand Slam as the game went out of reach for BASBHAT.

All three are hitting between .781 and .758. And that's 86 RBIs from the 3 4 5 spots in the order and the thing is, batting them together means they actually take RBIs away from each other when one or more go yard. And punctuates how much Jason and Timmy get on in front of them.

As a team the record is already impressive:

Team records we have already set:

1. 19 wins in a calendar year. Previous high was 17 in 2005. Remains to be seen if we can get to 21.
2. 9 Wins in a fall season. Previous high was 8-1-1 in 2002.
3. Winning percentage for a year. Currently at .826, best would be .840 (21-4), worst possible is .760, and previous high was .680 in 2005 (17-8).
4. Winning percentage in a season. Currently 1.000, of course best would be 1.000, worst possible is .900, and previous high was .850 in fall 2002.
5. Fewest losses in a year, 4 currently. Previous low was 8 three times. Let's end the year at 4.

With a win next week, we would tie Spring 2005 (10-2) for wins in a season, but this could be the first undefeated season in our history.

It's been a great ride so far, but there is still unfinished business. One more for the perfect regular season. And then Playoff Cotton to win. By the way, the league changed up the format. There will be four teams in the playoffs (the printed schedule has three), and thus we get two games during playoffs, which is perfect for the sluts among us.

And - I may have a surprise for the team on Tuesday.

Quote of the week: "You can't chew up yesterday's breakfast."- Jim Leland, Manager, Detroit Tigers, when asked about losing Game 4 to the A's when they rallied in the ninth for their 15th and final walk-off.

Milestones:

Heffe     10 k (#3)
Mario    10 sf (#4)
RB        10 hr (#5)
D           200 ab (#20)

The Perfect Storm

Softball is a strange game in comparison to baseball. Some odd differences occur in how the differences manifest themselves.

For example, in our game Tuesday, we batted around and made it halfway through our lineup a second time, as we took a 9-0 lead. This is not that strange the way we have been hitting this year. We did it with a combination of mostly singles with a couple walks and an error and a sac fly and a double and triple thrown in for good measure. It's how we roll when things are going well.

Our opponent was the Motor Boatin' Show Boaters, who came into the game needing to beat us to stay alive in the race for first place and seeding for the playoffs. They were in second and in our 7-0 start, everyone else had already been eliminated. And they really needed to beat us by more than the sixteen we had won by in our first matchup - the famous walk-off slaughter slam called by our own Cage.

You gotta hand it to the Showboaters - they hit the ball hard. They hit at least five, maybe more no doubters over the fence. The first two were solo shots and then this is where the softball curse comes in. The rest were all singles due to the vagaries of the softball rules on the enclosed fields in Pleasanton. One inning they hit two, and had four or five hits, and scored all of one run. In the end, we had a comfortable lead at 20-9 going into the last inning and won 20-14.

This facet could be called the perfect storm, for us, but I was really referring to the lineup we had that night. Five Regulars out, at the A's game, at rock concerts,  and on business trips, including all-star pitcher Sir Guy who held them to six runs last time. Tremendous lifts were provided by Tom pitching, and Ross manning right field, and Larry behind the plate and at second base. It sounds like Tom was serving meatballs, but he made some great pitches when he had to and stranded the bases loaded at least twice maybe three times. His strikeout of one of their powerful lefties was a thing of beauty. He pitched two balls inside, and all the batter could do was hit weak foul grounders down the line. And then he froze him with a third - this one was on the deep inside corner and the guy couldn't even get off a swing.

Ross made a great running catch in RF, and contributed three hits, and a couple of runs. Larry had a two run clutch hit in the first inning rally that blew it open into a big inning. Nice to know we have that kind of quality in our back pocket.

The center of the lineup really was productive as usual, and between them RB and Hama had nine hits and nine RBIs. Mario and Rams also had three hits.

Jason had four hits, and two howls, and the funniest worried-about-stats moment, and what would a Transdyn game be without these highlights? The howls were for a dive where he came up empty in the 5-6 hole, and one time when he got forced at third. The stats moment was when he hit a screaming line drive off the left fielder's leg and/or glove with so much top spin that it handcuffed the guy, and he immediately turned to the (first base) dugout and asked "was that a hit Heff?", only I was coaching third so I was nowhere to be found over there.

Most importantly, we have now clinched first place and dare I say it, only two more for a true first, an undefeated season. But only if we win this week, so let's just think about BASBHAT coming up. I am knocking on wood all around me so just talking about it doesn't jinx us.

Might feel strange to have almost everyone there after last week, but I'm sure we can handle it. Call it the Perfect Strum, hit the right chord.

Milestones:

RB        10 2b (#26)
Hama    100 ab (#32)
RB        50 h (#46)

Joe the Chimp

I can't decide how I feel about the A's and the Giants having a playoff bye the same night as the Coneheads this Monday.

On the one hand - what will we do with ourselves??? A Monday without Conehead softball? It is like a precursor of the long winter. No game for us, and no meaningful games in the MLB playoff madness.

There is always Monday Night Football. Let's see, it's the Jets and the Texans. That sounds as exciting as the American League Wild Card was, or like it's Act II of West Side Story. Or, we will be forced to watch Baltimore-Yankees in the ALDS. Well, everyone will be forced to watch except the unfortunate Sting (grew up in NY) and the strangely misguided G (thinks Seattle was a suburb of NYC), who will actually care who wins. Does this even qualify as a playoff game? They will have played each other 19 times this season. Enough already, just flip a coin.

All this in juxtaposition to last Monday's Conehead game, a total barnburner compared to our recent games as we only beat WMD 17-11. We were up only 13-11 going into the fifth. It was so close that Joe was pacing the dugout. "We are just playing sloppy." he grumbled.

Actually we weren't. We were just under the influence of a fever. I think it's called playoff fever, or perhaps that night, A's fever. Derek and Lefty and Greg and I think Randy a little too were huddled over their smart phones, trying to figure out the right angle to get the best sound to keep up on every play over at the O Dot Net Dot Al Dot Colosseum. "It's 2-2." "Oh 4-2 A's!" "Oh no Texas has a couple on." "Oh no, it's 4-3!" I even thought one of them was going to go up to bat with a phone-radio in his ear. You gotta like that kind of dedication.

In reality, it may have worked in our favor. As the A's game increased in intensity, so did their desire to get back in the dugout. Lefty came up in the fourth, and hit a bomb that was Popean, or Mullerful, or even Stingly. And he ran it out, ran fast. To get back to his other game. "Joe, I gotta have a rally smoke. Out next inning." And again. And another. Derek came up in the fifth, got a clutch two run two out laser single that pretty much sealed WMD's fate, and was suspiciously willing to get a courtesy runner.

Not to worry, we handled WMD just as the A's handled Texas, even though we played a little distracted. A bunch of guys did their usual thing - Lefty was 4-4, and Chuck, Sting, D, Gerry and Chopper all had three hits and Joe got the game winner on a clutch two run single in the gap to put us ahead to stay and the other half of our pitching tandem Larry had a two run double. There was really never a doubt.

I'm a little worried though...when our playoffs come, MLB will be over. We may have to actually focus on our game. What will happen then?

See you in a week plus.

p.s. the title, if you read this far. Reggie told a post game story about a run in with a pet chimp that was actually named Joe, a tale from his wayward youth. It included sex drugs and rock and roll. Not for the faint of heart. For those that didn't stay long enough, it had to be one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. It was one of those stories that was so good, he could not have made a bit of it up. And he said words I never thought I would hear. Reggie was in terrible fear, of the mad chimp. Ask him sometime, I'm sure he will tell you. Or wait until the memoirs come out - I am thinking of a collaboration, 'The Story of Sting', as told to the heffinator. Coming to Amazon sometime in the next ten years.

p.s.s. great to have Pope back.

Milestones:

Gerry       500 h (#9)
Lefty        100 rbi (#20)