Bringing Home the Bacon

Bacon. Just reading the word evokes the enticing aroma of breakfast cooking in the kitchen, the sizzling sound of splattering grease, the promise of a great breakfast, whether you cook it yourself, or it's done by your lover or your mother, or whether it's at a truck stop or diner, or a fancy brunch restaurant. You may say it's full of fat or it ain't Kosher, but let's face it, we all love it.

And where does bacon come from - that's right, your hog farm somewhere in the hinterland. We don't like to think of those putrid places producing such a delectable delight, but once it's in front of you, you don't care in the least.

But then, what the hell is a warthog? Is it literally a hog with warts? If so, could you get infectious diseases from eating bacon from a warthog? Could you get warts of you are on a field full of Warthogs? Should they be teaching about the evils of hanging out with Warthogs in ninth grade biology?

I had to do a little research because the Coneheads were playing the Warthogs on Thursday. Just in case you haven't been to the Zoo (except the Conehead Zoo), here is what I found:

It sure is a hideous beast. Look closely, zoom in on the face of yon warthog - notice the two growths hanging down its snout - those are the warts! They're not really warts at all! We are safe! We can still eat bacon!

But then the question leaps out at you - who in the world would name their softball team after such an ugly creature?

And then you remember, oh yeah, Coneheads. If you think about Jane Curtain and Dan Ackroyd back in the skit, it might give you pause. There is no accounting for taste in names.

And so, on Thursday we faced the ugly beast, and slayed him, to the tune of 29-8. We spotted them a 6-3 lead and then our Fan arrived. She takes full credit by the way. She carefully notes that the score was 26-2 after she arrived. We had Conehead rallies of nine and 13 runs in successive innings.

Mark moved the leadoff spot and the Hog pitcher wouldn't or wouldn't give him a pitch to hit, so he did his job and took two walks. He managed to go 3-3 anyway. Sting slashed a bunch of line drives and drove in five with four hits. Pope had the big bomb of the evening (at last until Chopper unloaded later on) and also had five RBIs. Chuck had nothing but clutch hits and tied them with five RBIs on just three hits. And made a fine catch of a line drive at third in the fifth. In the third Chopper put the exclamation point on our 13 run rally - he was the 11th straight Conehead to reach via hit or walk that inning. It was a great goose ball, but the geese had remained in Walnut Creek.

After a couple of innings of shoddy defense early we settled down and backed up Joe with good defense. Even with the game out of reach, when we had an outfield of Chopper and Haz and Heffe and Pope. Let the record show we only allowed one run in the last two innings with that alignment. Never mind most of the balls went to the infield. I said never mind!

In a strange quirk of scheduling, we have 11 days off in the middle of July. How un-Conehead is that? But I will leave you with this: 

When we come back, go out and bring home the Bacon.