My old team all had nicknames. Mine was Heffe. Another was Doc. Ok, I'll give you a few: Doc, Woody, Gun, the Dud, Squint, Sir Guy, O.Z, Weird, and Oil Can. I'm not making this up. Gun gave us many of them, some came with the person, but each one has its own history.
Another one was a guy named Jimmy who we called The Bench. After Johnny Bench, but not. He couldn't hit like Johnny Bench but he did usually play catcher.
The Bench was a below average player, hence the name. Yes he rode the bench.
Here is the story of how we recruited him: One day Oil Can said he had a new recruit. He was a good guy who actually had gone to MIT at the same time as me (I didn't know him there, but we traveled in some of the same circles, so we had some common ground). We went outside at lunch one day to meet him. Bench was playing Frisbee with some other people. My first sight of him was he was going after a Frisbee and ran smack into a "No Parking" sign. I kid you not. This should have been a sign, please forgive the pun.
He was a sub for a couple of years, and usually came in later in the game when we were short-handed. But he stuck around, and eventually got on the roster. He was a good guy, don't get me wrong, just a little less, er, talented than others.
That is, until we would have a practice game where the other team was short and then we gave The Bench to the other team to even out the sides. Suddenly he turned into Superman. He'd hit gappers for triples and homers, make diving catches to rob us of hits, and go 5 for 5. Every single time. It was an unbelievable spectacle and display of softball prowess. We would wonder, where was this when he played for us? For us it was always pop up to second, ground out, missed fly ball.
I'm not sure if he was offended by his nickname. I would have been. But in the end, he was being transferred to Australia in his job. He went to our coach at the time, Gun, and asked if he could start just one time as it was his last game. I can't remember exactly how the decision was made, whether Gun unilaterally decided or if he consulted the rest of Team Management, which was Sir Guy and me. At any rate, I think we were in the midst of a heated playoff race, and you know how important that is; we said no.
So Bench came in the game in the third or fourth inning for a couple of innings and then was taken out. This is the part I will never forget. We were in the dugout, and there was Sir Guy and me and the Bench on one end. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bench says, kind of quietly, "F you guys", and walks out. He proceeds to walk slowly down the left field line, beyond the fence, and all the way around the outfield to the parking lot never to be seen again. Gun or someone asked, "where did the Bench go?" and we pointed and there he was, off to Australia.
Now that I have the wisdom of the years, I say to you Jimmy, we should have let you start in that game. We apologize. But you really shouldn't have robbed me when I was oh for eight that time.
Another one was a guy named Jimmy who we called The Bench. After Johnny Bench, but not. He couldn't hit like Johnny Bench but he did usually play catcher.
The Bench was a below average player, hence the name. Yes he rode the bench.
Here is the story of how we recruited him: One day Oil Can said he had a new recruit. He was a good guy who actually had gone to MIT at the same time as me (I didn't know him there, but we traveled in some of the same circles, so we had some common ground). We went outside at lunch one day to meet him. Bench was playing Frisbee with some other people. My first sight of him was he was going after a Frisbee and ran smack into a "No Parking" sign. I kid you not. This should have been a sign, please forgive the pun.
He was a sub for a couple of years, and usually came in later in the game when we were short-handed. But he stuck around, and eventually got on the roster. He was a good guy, don't get me wrong, just a little less, er, talented than others.
That is, until we would have a practice game where the other team was short and then we gave The Bench to the other team to even out the sides. Suddenly he turned into Superman. He'd hit gappers for triples and homers, make diving catches to rob us of hits, and go 5 for 5. Every single time. It was an unbelievable spectacle and display of softball prowess. We would wonder, where was this when he played for us? For us it was always pop up to second, ground out, missed fly ball.
I'm not sure if he was offended by his nickname. I would have been. But in the end, he was being transferred to Australia in his job. He went to our coach at the time, Gun, and asked if he could start just one time as it was his last game. I can't remember exactly how the decision was made, whether Gun unilaterally decided or if he consulted the rest of Team Management, which was Sir Guy and me. At any rate, I think we were in the midst of a heated playoff race, and you know how important that is; we said no.
So Bench came in the game in the third or fourth inning for a couple of innings and then was taken out. This is the part I will never forget. We were in the dugout, and there was Sir Guy and me and the Bench on one end. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bench says, kind of quietly, "F you guys", and walks out. He proceeds to walk slowly down the left field line, beyond the fence, and all the way around the outfield to the parking lot never to be seen again. Gun or someone asked, "where did the Bench go?" and we pointed and there he was, off to Australia.
Now that I have the wisdom of the years, I say to you Jimmy, we should have let you start in that game. We apologize. But you really shouldn't have robbed me when I was oh for eight that time.
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