Now that we are a month and change from Conehead ball starting up again, I think it is past time to get out my last post of last year, and we will just call it a call to start the defense of our multiple back to back etc. championships of the last few fortunate seasons.
You see, I actually wrote a post for the end of the year, but there was so much more to say, that I kept wanting to come back to it, and then it got further and further from the actual events, and then it just got harder to complete.
And besides, my worst critic and editor (that would be yours truly) kept telling me there was no flow to it. It needed more segues or something.
To which I say:
Flow.
There, now it has flow, and so here it is. And away we go.
Levels.
Kramer, the character in Seinfeld, decided to build levels.
JERRY: (to Kramer and Morty) What is this about?
KRAMER: I’m completely changing the configuration of the apartment. You’re not gonna believe it when you see it. A whole new lifestyle.
JERRY: What are you doing?
KRAMER: Levels.
JERRY: Levels?
KRAMER: Yeah, I’m getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I’m going to build these different levels, with steps, and it’ll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You know, like ancient Egypt.
He makes gestures, like he is drawing out the levels.
JERRY: You drew up plans for this?
KRAMER: No no. It’s all in my head.
MORTY: I don’t know how you’re going to be comfortable like that.
KRAMER: Oh, I’ll be comfortable.
The Coneheads have levels. Good, better, best. That's how we play. Until we are the last ones on the field. And we are comfortable, like old cleats.
Cream...we are the cream of the league. We whipped Cream. We Creamed Cream and Clear. We made Whipped Cream out of Cream and Clear. Poor slobs - they're not bad people, they just can't beat us. How many, six times to none? Four times in a season? Is it my imagination or did each game get worse for them. It is my imagination, the last four games were 19-2, 17-10, 20-5, and 16-4. Last year we only beat them 18-12 in the championship game. It isn't getting worse, it's just getting. Get it?
the Clear...it's very Clear who is the Cream of the league.
Didn't quite know what the Clear was until...a couple of weeks ago. This is very personal to be writing but my daughter has had some psychological problems, and she was in the hospital. Reginald Drakeford the third, our own Sting, really stepped up, and visited her with me. Twice. Cheered her up. It is a tough situation, and Reggie has a bond with Sara. After all, we met because his Dominique and my Sara were teammates in soccer. He coached her later. Said she was his favorite goalie. I believe him.
But here is the thing. We are in a strange place in a strange antiseptic room, and Reggie is pontificating to Sara (go figure). Telling her all about his time spent with his wife, and how, they went to the pedicurist together. The words just slipped out. And he realized they slipped out, and glanced over to me. I had a big smile on. He said, "that's gonna get out, isn't it?" And you know what I said - I said I needed an angle, and a level for the blog. Thank you very much.
There's more. Now the cat is out of the bag, and I said, 'what color?' and he says, 'Clear.'
So you see, that was why the Cream and the Clear has had no chance against us. Sting was sporting CLEAR toenail polish for all those games. The polish was on the wall. So to speak.
Look at the picture of our team. Have you ever seen a more rag tag looking bunch? This is a team that has won FIVE straight season ending playoffs. I can't even jinx us now, it's all gravy. We look like the Rainbow Conelition too. We are the pot at the end of the rainbow. We are stardust, we are golden.
It's hard to say who is the heart and soul of this team. We all are.
Our new Mr. Conehead, Larry had a chance to put the game away in the last of the fifth, the slaughter rule run standing on third base in the form of Chopper. I was coaching third, I think (memory fails me). Thinking Larry would hit it as far as he could and the sac fly would end it. Instead he popped up to first. Afterwards, I told him it would have been poetic if he had knocked in the last run, because his pitching in Joe's stead was a huge factor why none of the games were close. And he said, "no, it's better it was Chuck." Because Chuck is the soul of the team. In large part. So he was the hero of the moment, once in many many times for him.
So what did we do? After high fiving the Cream and Clear and each other, I started us jumping up and down like the pros do...and I saw Joe standing in our crowd. Sometimes heartless, Joe is the Heart of the team. I caught his Eye. And I went for his leg and someone grabbed the other...and before he knew what was happening, he got the Vince Lombardi treatment. He was remarkably light too...that old man must be all of 100 pounds dripping wet.
Speaking of the shower, it was a nice touch, those bracelets he brought from around the world to ward off the Stink Eye. I know I am only a little crazy, but I haven't taken mine off since that night. The only time it has come off is when I am getting ready to shower, and it seems to fly off my wrist, but I hurry and get it back on. You know, you can never be too safe from the Stink Eye.
And so we embark on yet another timeless season even as age creeps us on us, and we spit in its eye, and say we will be even better this year to compensate for age's terrible toll it takes on us. We still have the Pennini's and the Waitlisters and the Old Scouts to beat. Again.
p.s. I have an appointment to get a pedicure.
Milestones:
Gene 750 ab (#10)
Derek 10 hr (#14)
Derek 150 rbi (#18)
Derek 250 ab (#18)
Markley 10 bb (#18)
You see, I actually wrote a post for the end of the year, but there was so much more to say, that I kept wanting to come back to it, and then it got further and further from the actual events, and then it just got harder to complete.
And besides, my worst critic and editor (that would be yours truly) kept telling me there was no flow to it. It needed more segues or something.
To which I say:
Flow.
There, now it has flow, and so here it is. And away we go.
Levels.
Kramer, the character in Seinfeld, decided to build levels.
JERRY: (to Kramer and Morty) What is this about?
KRAMER: I’m completely changing the configuration of the apartment. You’re not gonna believe it when you see it. A whole new lifestyle.
JERRY: What are you doing?
KRAMER: Levels.
JERRY: Levels?
KRAMER: Yeah, I’m getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I’m going to build these different levels, with steps, and it’ll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You know, like ancient Egypt.
He makes gestures, like he is drawing out the levels.
JERRY: You drew up plans for this?
KRAMER: No no. It’s all in my head.
MORTY: I don’t know how you’re going to be comfortable like that.
KRAMER: Oh, I’ll be comfortable.
The Coneheads have levels. Good, better, best. That's how we play. Until we are the last ones on the field. And we are comfortable, like old cleats.
Cream...we are the cream of the league. We whipped Cream. We Creamed Cream and Clear. We made Whipped Cream out of Cream and Clear. Poor slobs - they're not bad people, they just can't beat us. How many, six times to none? Four times in a season? Is it my imagination or did each game get worse for them. It is my imagination, the last four games were 19-2, 17-10, 20-5, and 16-4. Last year we only beat them 18-12 in the championship game. It isn't getting worse, it's just getting. Get it?
the Clear...it's very Clear who is the Cream of the league.
Didn't quite know what the Clear was until...a couple of weeks ago. This is very personal to be writing but my daughter has had some psychological problems, and she was in the hospital. Reginald Drakeford the third, our own Sting, really stepped up, and visited her with me. Twice. Cheered her up. It is a tough situation, and Reggie has a bond with Sara. After all, we met because his Dominique and my Sara were teammates in soccer. He coached her later. Said she was his favorite goalie. I believe him.
But here is the thing. We are in a strange place in a strange antiseptic room, and Reggie is pontificating to Sara (go figure). Telling her all about his time spent with his wife, and how, they went to the pedicurist together. The words just slipped out. And he realized they slipped out, and glanced over to me. I had a big smile on. He said, "that's gonna get out, isn't it?" And you know what I said - I said I needed an angle, and a level for the blog. Thank you very much.
There's more. Now the cat is out of the bag, and I said, 'what color?' and he says, 'Clear.'
So you see, that was why the Cream and the Clear has had no chance against us. Sting was sporting CLEAR toenail polish for all those games. The polish was on the wall. So to speak.
Look at the picture of our team. Have you ever seen a more rag tag looking bunch? This is a team that has won FIVE straight season ending playoffs. I can't even jinx us now, it's all gravy. We look like the Rainbow Conelition too. We are the pot at the end of the rainbow. We are stardust, we are golden.
It's hard to say who is the heart and soul of this team. We all are.
Our new Mr. Conehead, Larry had a chance to put the game away in the last of the fifth, the slaughter rule run standing on third base in the form of Chopper. I was coaching third, I think (memory fails me). Thinking Larry would hit it as far as he could and the sac fly would end it. Instead he popped up to first. Afterwards, I told him it would have been poetic if he had knocked in the last run, because his pitching in Joe's stead was a huge factor why none of the games were close. And he said, "no, it's better it was Chuck." Because Chuck is the soul of the team. In large part. So he was the hero of the moment, once in many many times for him.
So what did we do? After high fiving the Cream and Clear and each other, I started us jumping up and down like the pros do...and I saw Joe standing in our crowd. Sometimes heartless, Joe is the Heart of the team. I caught his Eye. And I went for his leg and someone grabbed the other...and before he knew what was happening, he got the Vince Lombardi treatment. He was remarkably light too...that old man must be all of 100 pounds dripping wet.
Speaking of the shower, it was a nice touch, those bracelets he brought from around the world to ward off the Stink Eye. I know I am only a little crazy, but I haven't taken mine off since that night. The only time it has come off is when I am getting ready to shower, and it seems to fly off my wrist, but I hurry and get it back on. You know, you can never be too safe from the Stink Eye.
And so we embark on yet another timeless season even as age creeps us on us, and we spit in its eye, and say we will be even better this year to compensate for age's terrible toll it takes on us. We still have the Pennini's and the Waitlisters and the Old Scouts to beat. Again.
p.s. I have an appointment to get a pedicure.
Milestones:
Gene 750 ab (#10)
Derek 10 hr (#14)
Derek 150 rbi (#18)
Derek 250 ab (#18)
Markley 10 bb (#18)
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