Man of Steele

Goin' to the Chapel, and Lefty's gonna get ma-a-arried,

Goin' to the Chapel, and Lefty's gonna get ma-a-arried,

Veena, he really loves you, and you're, gonna get ma-a-arried

Goin' to Lefty's Chapel of love.

Hold on I'm a little late. That was nearly two weeks ago. In fact I was late to the wedding, because I had to get Buster Bobbledheads at the Giants' game that day. I showed up as I promised in Cardinal gear, and gave the Groom a laugh. As was said about me many years ago, I may be late but I'll be there.

And so, Lefty got hitched to sweet Veena. And, yes we witnessed it, well, some of us - Lefty cried, got choked up giving his speech. But, in all seriousness, it was very touching, he is really all heart. Now that he is a bundle of mush, he'll never be the same. I hope he can still hit, he's been on the marriage wagon for the first two weeks, all fat and happy, and we will have to see this Sunday.

In fact I am very late. I haven't talked to you in months, seems like years...Call it writer's cramp, call it a block, call it damn work getting in the way, it's been a long long time. The pen has to be oiled, so I take the opportunity to congratulate our teammate, and welcome him back this week.

Because as you know, our season is already two games old. The opener, well, the less said the better. Pinky's pretty much had their way with us. Even though we had a decent opening inning plating five, they answered with twelve, and we had to play catchup the rest of the way. We closed to 12-9 but they shut us down in the middle innings, and it wasn't ever closer.We can beat those guys but we all have to have our best games to do it. There is always next time.

This week we reverted to the dominant team we are against the rest of the league, most of the time. Even without Lefty and Reggie, the new tournament slut, and even Greg the Knight, those three being the heart of our order, the Masterbatters did not have a chance, and we drubbed them 16-5.

This was because we unveiled our new secret weapon. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Johnny Steele the Man of Steel.

Johnny has one of those names. One of those names we all wish we had, because it just says everything. Like Joe Montana - now there's a name. A whole state. No wonder he was a superstar. John Steele. How could he not have been a pro player? Or, at least a porn actor? Today, we are glad he is ours, because he contributed greatly to our win, as a super sub.

The game started in a strange fashion, thanks to Joe. A guy on second with one out. A guy (Wes Something?) who supposedly used to be the Greatest Hitter in All Softball Land, steps up. First inning, second game of the season - and Joe gives him a free pass. I am thinking - really Joe? An intentional walk this early in the season, this early in the game? But of course the next two guys make outs, and Joe's strategy plays out perfectly, and I am left to do nothing but congratulate our Coach on his genius. You're a better man than me, Coach.

It sets the table for what I like to think is our usual MO - Chuck and the rest of us spraying out a bunch of singles - in fact we started with six of the first seven doing just that - and then up steps Johnny Steele. The Man. He powers a ball into the RC gap, and with the Grand Salami, it goes to 6-0 just like that, and the game is, in effect, over.

Johnny added a couple of great plays at 2B after we brought him in from the outfield to increase the Legend of Steele. He and Randy (playing out of position at Schmiddler with McKnight missing), that we borrow from the Coneheads' archrivals for Walnut Creek, made our infield look like pros. They each stopped at least a couple of smashes. Tim added a couple of great running catches in LF to prove once again that we win with our D as much as our hitting.

On the hitting side Heavy D was, 4-4, of course, but he didn't nearly take anyone's life this week. Gerry had his usual three hits, and Chuck was 3-3 with a walk. Aside from Johnny's big fly, all our hits were singles and that's just fine with me.

This week, we have our other main competition, Advance Construction, and since they lost to Pinky's this past Sunday, this week's game looms large for keeping close to the leaders for our rematch later in the year. Bring hits with you, and Lefty, put away the champagne in time.

p.s. Hello Orinda Linda, my fan. Feels good to be back.