Spring Training and Other Dreams

Every year they gather in Florida and Arizona to celebrate the fact that all the teams are undefeated, and this is the year they will go all the way. Spring training is full of promise.

Like the MLB players some softball meet and practice; the Walnut Creakers even have a practice season (they be old and have nothing better to do).

I also need to bring out the blog and practice for the upcoming season, loosen the pen as it were.

In order to do this, I am going to tell a dream I had the other night. After reading it, you may think I have more issues than those you already know about me. This may expose some of my fears and insecurities, but what the hell.

It begins in either the opening game of the playoffs, or spring practice, or both, you know how dreams are. This is the Orinda Coneheads, so I am the coach.

We are the visitors and it is game time. Besides the regular Coneheads my team includes 1) George, who I played with for twenty plus years and was the coach of my original team before me. Currently, I play poker in a monthly game with George. 2) Neal, who is to be my coach this upcoming year on the Creakers. 3) Tim H, who I played with for years on my other long term team that I currently still coach. and 4) a guy who is really bad that I don't know except he showed up in the last few winter pickup games in which I played.

You know what a stats whore I am. We are leading off, and I have no open pages in my scorebook. There are lots of guys and I don't know what to do with the lineup and nowhere to write it down. So I send up Chuck to lead off, and tell Neil (who's a really good hitter but the Coneheads don't know him) to bat second, despite the facts that I have Tim H, who is about the best number two hitter in softball and also have Reggie who for years batted second behind Chuck on the Coneheads. Nevertheless I send Chuck and Neil up and tell Pope, Conehead power hitter extraordinaire, to bat third.

So of course Chuck singles and then Neil hits a gapper to the wall, but Chuck and Neil mis-communicate. Chuck rounds third hard but goes back even though Neil has committed to go to third. Chuck ends up scoring but Neil is thrown out in a rundown.

Instead of two on and no outs we have one run in, one out and the bases empty. 

By the way, we are playing in a major league park, and there is a tunnel to the clubhouse. In the clubhouse is a bin I have that contains all my scorebooks going back decades. I head there in search of an empty scoresheet before the game gets too far. I just tell everyone to bat wherever in the lineup and I'll bat last and catch up when I come back. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Pope launch just a monster shot. It hits high off the top of the wall in right field and bounces over for a home run. It's about the longest ball hit in softball history and I kind of missed it. I have to delay my trip to the clubhouse because I have to line up to high five him with everyone else.

Now I'm going to be really late coming back. I go back there and start going through scorebooks and I can't find any unused sheet. I'm going through dozens of them - nothing. I hear a lot of loudness coming from the dugout  - we must have quite a rally going. Finally I just give up and head back up the tunnel. I figure if I missed my at bat I will sub in for the lousy player that isn't really on the team anyway.

When I emerge from the tunnel I look up and we've scored 144 runs! And that guy, the one from the pickup games, is making the last out.

I tell George my plan to sub in and he says I shouldn't take the guy out since we are so far ahead, and just start the next inning batting myself.

And then I woke up.

Before you can say it, clearly I have some issues. Your interpretation is as good as mine. Have a great

season!