I'm gonna say it, I just can't resist. We played the Holey Sox last week. The church team (actually called the Holy Sox) has more holes than Swiss cheese, to coin a cliche. We ran away with the game in the second inning, plating 11 on our way to an eventual 20-7 Christian slaying. We fed them to the lions.
But it's ok, they are going to Heaven and we are going to Hell as we all know. Cotton burns, too. No amount will protect us from the flames of the depths.
Story within the story, their coach and left center fielder Mark P and I were teammates on the Walnut Creakers MDSSL team, the last time I pretended to be retired. We have almost nothing in common but in softball all you need is to be in the same lineup for a couple of years, and you are friends. So after I hit my usual flare over SS in front of him my second time up, he cheated way over almost behind the SS the next time I batted, and I hammered the ball over the pitcher's head straight up the middle, splitting the outfielders for a double. The pitcher was not pleased. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked when I got to second base. "Of course", I said. He was not pleased with this response. I think he called on Yehovah to curse me. You can call me the Monster of the Midway from now on.
The next inning when Mark was going to coach first, he commented into our dugout, "nice hit." Gene was sitting next to me. He thought it was about his grand slam in the second, which was really the blow that put the game away. On a scale of one to ten, his was a nine point nine and mine was maybe a seven. How dare he think Mark would be complimenting him?
Defensive highlights included a great play in the hole by Chuck in the second, and yet another all lefty double play in the third. Besides Gene's big fly, there was Lefty's two run homer in the first, which actually put the game away at 2-0. It was of Derek proportions, or to continue the holy theme, like our Pope might hit if he ever turns 40.
We held them in check until the bottom of the last inning. In strode Lefty, staked to a 20-2 lead. He gave up five. I think he is like a any good closer - he needs the game to be close to be effective. I think I saw Joe changing his pitching depth chart though.
Ten guys had multiple hit games, including Chopper with a double and a triple and a single - the mini-cycle. No Christmas goose though. Bruce and Joe had the other perfect games at the plate. In our Conehead inning, we batted around (plus two) with 15 guys in the lineup - and the hardest hit balls were line drive outs by Knight and the Buddha, who were on a Crusade. OK I will stop now with the religious references.
Milestones:
Stink Eye 150 g (#1)
Heffe 250 h (#3)
Lefty 400 ab (#4)
Bruce 50 ab (#22)
But it's ok, they are going to Heaven and we are going to Hell as we all know. Cotton burns, too. No amount will protect us from the flames of the depths.
Story within the story, their coach and left center fielder Mark P and I were teammates on the Walnut Creakers MDSSL team, the last time I pretended to be retired. We have almost nothing in common but in softball all you need is to be in the same lineup for a couple of years, and you are friends. So after I hit my usual flare over SS in front of him my second time up, he cheated way over almost behind the SS the next time I batted, and I hammered the ball over the pitcher's head straight up the middle, splitting the outfielders for a double. The pitcher was not pleased. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked when I got to second base. "Of course", I said. He was not pleased with this response. I think he called on Yehovah to curse me. You can call me the Monster of the Midway from now on.
The next inning when Mark was going to coach first, he commented into our dugout, "nice hit." Gene was sitting next to me. He thought it was about his grand slam in the second, which was really the blow that put the game away. On a scale of one to ten, his was a nine point nine and mine was maybe a seven. How dare he think Mark would be complimenting him?
Defensive highlights included a great play in the hole by Chuck in the second, and yet another all lefty double play in the third. Besides Gene's big fly, there was Lefty's two run homer in the first, which actually put the game away at 2-0. It was of Derek proportions, or to continue the holy theme, like our Pope might hit if he ever turns 40.
We held them in check until the bottom of the last inning. In strode Lefty, staked to a 20-2 lead. He gave up five. I think he is like a any good closer - he needs the game to be close to be effective. I think I saw Joe changing his pitching depth chart though.
Ten guys had multiple hit games, including Chopper with a double and a triple and a single - the mini-cycle. No Christmas goose though. Bruce and Joe had the other perfect games at the plate. In our Conehead inning, we batted around (plus two) with 15 guys in the lineup - and the hardest hit balls were line drive outs by Knight and the Buddha, who were on a Crusade. OK I will stop now with the religious references.
Milestones:
Stink Eye 150 g (#1)
Heffe 250 h (#3)
Lefty 400 ab (#4)
Bruce 50 ab (#22)
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