After Monday's Conehead game, which we lost 15-12 to the Waitlisters to go 0-2 for the first time certainly in my time with the Coneheads, perhaps in team history, and certainly in the 'modern age' of the Heads, I went out to dinner at the Hofbrau in Orinda with my girl.
Across the restaurant were Johnny's Gang - a team that has never finished with more than three wins in a season for as long as I have archives of the standings and probably any time in my 13 years in the league and beyond. They had just lost, yet again, to the Usual Suspects, the other bottom feeding team, 18-15. It must have been frustrating - a game they clearly had a chance to win, only to lose once more. These guys were chatting away, drinking beer, eating sandwiches, having a grand old time. You would have thought they won by a landslide.
Across town a few minutes earlier, after Chopper got ignominiously tagged out trying to stretch a single into a double with two outs in the seventh and the tying run coming to the plate, the heavens opened up and it was raining steadily by the time we got to the parking lot. The Coneheads parted one by one, no beer, no eats, barely a goodbye.
The two teams were, by the end of that night, tied for last place at 0-2, the only teams that had not won a game yet. Setting up a match tonight whereby the loser would be in last alone. Alone. How the mighty fell.
I sometimes wish we were made up like Johnny's Gang. We take losing so damn seriously. It's only rec league softball. Why can't we go out on the town, win or lose?
It is who we are - we are Coneheads and we expect to win every game, and we don't like it when it doesn't happen.
Oh, we had our excuses - We had too many players in the lineup in the first game, we were missing four of our power hitters and best defensive players in the second, the new mat is too small, keep 'em coming. But we just weren't playing well, like the team that has won five straight championships. We were tight, and I don't mean like a tight defense.
So tonight the stars seemingly could have been aligned for the most embarrassing loss of all, to the lowly Gang. We still were missing both Gregs, Lefty, Dizzy D, and Chopper. That's a lot of firepower. Not to mention D's bat which a lot of us use. And Haz is still hobbled, leaving us with really just two true outfielders. On top of that we had that insane umpire who was actually voted out by the managers, and somehow managed to keep his job torturing us. He actually made up yet another rule tonight - if you stretch over home plate, scoring becomes like a running back breaking the plane of the goal line in football, any part counts if it beats the ball. Really? And the mat is still too small.
We started off well enough, batting around and scoring six. Sting had the biggest hit, a triple (was that a Conehead triple?). As it turned out that was enough, but we didn't know it. We gave away three in the bottom of the first - of course our outfield was playing in the next county, and they snuck in a couple of soft liners and bloopers and we contributed with a couple of errors, and they closed to 6-3. The next four innings almost no one scored. In fact just the Heads with two. In the second it took us two hits and two outs just to get a single run - certainly not a Conehead Inning. Same in the fifth - took us five batters to get a run. It was as if we were waiting for Johhny's Gang to come up with the upset.
But in the top of the sixth we finally, finally, broke through with a Conehead inning late. Joe and Haz started it with singles and after Chuck hit a hard fly ball for a sac fly, we got five straight hits and seven of the next eight reached base. Don got a clutch two out two run single in there.
In a bit of comic relief, Will the Pill umpire decided the game was over - the ten run mercy rule after six. The guy really wanted to go home. I was sure that he was making up more rules. I looked it up - dammit if he wasn't right - fifteen runs after five innings, ten after six. But the teams have the option of finishing the game if there is time, and we took that decision right away from Will the Pill, we had tasted of the Conehead inning and it was good.
Of course what did we do - one, two, three, and nothing across. But then so did the Gang, aided by (finally) our signature double play Chuck to Chuck to first. Game over 15-5. Disaster averted.
Who knows, perhaps we are over our funk now. We will find out Monday against Bay Alarm nee Pennini's, in what should have been our first real test of the season - now they all will be.
Kinda glad - will keep us on our toes. And perhaps Monday, since we can't drink at the JM field any more, we will go enjoy life, and a few of us will take in a roast beef sandwich at the Hofbrau or pizza at Round Table. Relax and even enjoy each other's company, life is too short to just hop in our cars and go off into the night.
Milestones:
6/17
Gene 350 r (#10)
6/24
Chuck 350 g (#2)
6/27
Joe 1150 ab (#3)
Ol' G 300 rbi (#13)
Across the restaurant were Johnny's Gang - a team that has never finished with more than three wins in a season for as long as I have archives of the standings and probably any time in my 13 years in the league and beyond. They had just lost, yet again, to the Usual Suspects, the other bottom feeding team, 18-15. It must have been frustrating - a game they clearly had a chance to win, only to lose once more. These guys were chatting away, drinking beer, eating sandwiches, having a grand old time. You would have thought they won by a landslide.
Across town a few minutes earlier, after Chopper got ignominiously tagged out trying to stretch a single into a double with two outs in the seventh and the tying run coming to the plate, the heavens opened up and it was raining steadily by the time we got to the parking lot. The Coneheads parted one by one, no beer, no eats, barely a goodbye.
The two teams were, by the end of that night, tied for last place at 0-2, the only teams that had not won a game yet. Setting up a match tonight whereby the loser would be in last alone. Alone. How the mighty fell.
I sometimes wish we were made up like Johnny's Gang. We take losing so damn seriously. It's only rec league softball. Why can't we go out on the town, win or lose?
It is who we are - we are Coneheads and we expect to win every game, and we don't like it when it doesn't happen.
Oh, we had our excuses - We had too many players in the lineup in the first game, we were missing four of our power hitters and best defensive players in the second, the new mat is too small, keep 'em coming. But we just weren't playing well, like the team that has won five straight championships. We were tight, and I don't mean like a tight defense.
So tonight the stars seemingly could have been aligned for the most embarrassing loss of all, to the lowly Gang. We still were missing both Gregs, Lefty, Dizzy D, and Chopper. That's a lot of firepower. Not to mention D's bat which a lot of us use. And Haz is still hobbled, leaving us with really just two true outfielders. On top of that we had that insane umpire who was actually voted out by the managers, and somehow managed to keep his job torturing us. He actually made up yet another rule tonight - if you stretch over home plate, scoring becomes like a running back breaking the plane of the goal line in football, any part counts if it beats the ball. Really? And the mat is still too small.
We started off well enough, batting around and scoring six. Sting had the biggest hit, a triple (was that a Conehead triple?). As it turned out that was enough, but we didn't know it. We gave away three in the bottom of the first - of course our outfield was playing in the next county, and they snuck in a couple of soft liners and bloopers and we contributed with a couple of errors, and they closed to 6-3. The next four innings almost no one scored. In fact just the Heads with two. In the second it took us two hits and two outs just to get a single run - certainly not a Conehead Inning. Same in the fifth - took us five batters to get a run. It was as if we were waiting for Johhny's Gang to come up with the upset.
But in the top of the sixth we finally, finally, broke through with a Conehead inning late. Joe and Haz started it with singles and after Chuck hit a hard fly ball for a sac fly, we got five straight hits and seven of the next eight reached base. Don got a clutch two out two run single in there.
In a bit of comic relief, Will the Pill umpire decided the game was over - the ten run mercy rule after six. The guy really wanted to go home. I was sure that he was making up more rules. I looked it up - dammit if he wasn't right - fifteen runs after five innings, ten after six. But the teams have the option of finishing the game if there is time, and we took that decision right away from Will the Pill, we had tasted of the Conehead inning and it was good.
Of course what did we do - one, two, three, and nothing across. But then so did the Gang, aided by (finally) our signature double play Chuck to Chuck to first. Game over 15-5. Disaster averted.
Who knows, perhaps we are over our funk now. We will find out Monday against Bay Alarm nee Pennini's, in what should have been our first real test of the season - now they all will be.
Kinda glad - will keep us on our toes. And perhaps Monday, since we can't drink at the JM field any more, we will go enjoy life, and a few of us will take in a roast beef sandwich at the Hofbrau or pizza at Round Table. Relax and even enjoy each other's company, life is too short to just hop in our cars and go off into the night.
Milestones:
6/17
Gene 350 r (#10)
6/24
Chuck 350 g (#2)
6/27
Joe 1150 ab (#3)
Ol' G 300 rbi (#13)
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