There was no post about last week's JFT game. This is because the previous blogger had a conniption fit over a play that happened in the game. The last I heard of him, he was running off screaming that he was fast, and a better runner than half the team anyway. Rumor is he went crazy, and cut himself, and went off somewhere to die. All I know is I found a scrap of paper with some game notes; luckily the scorebook account of the game itself was intact, aside from some blood smears and a little dried drool. We may never see him again; we will miss his competitive zeal, but not his fits of anger. I am here to take up the slack; I will do everything in my power to entertain and inform as well. I ask for your indulgence.
Like I said there were a lot of missing pieces. Here is what I found:
Down 1-0 in the bottom of the second, Heffe led off with a shot that nearly tore off the pitcher's glove. The pitcher was crying it was hit so hard. Heffe was on first, studying the pitcher's move, ready to steal second. Never mind this was slow pitch softball. He was gonna go on the first pitch anyway. The pitcher stared him down at first, daring him to go. When SUDDENLY, there was a chorus erupting from the home team bench. I didn't even know there was such a song and dance. "Runner, runner, we need a runner, oh Heffe is so slow we need a runner." It was off key, but the message was clear. Our hero couldn't believe it. He capitulated, and even though no one else on the team is smart enough to even know that word, they continued the game.
Eventually that inning (Which Heffe Started) plated 9 runs, and the game had little drama after that, ending in an 18-4 victory (although they credited us with an extra run to make it officially a 19-4 slaughter rule win*). I think there were a couple of extra base hits in the inning - the notes say something about that M$%$#% Reggie getting a two run triple and G the inglorious B#$%$#^#% hitting a clutch two out double. But I can't quite make it out between the drool and the blood. Seems everyone else is mentioned like Chuck with 3 hits and Randy with a two run triple and Gene 2 for 2 with a Sac Fly and 4 RBIs, but every name has an MF or a GD in front of it. Some even have CkSkMF. Except one. For some reason every time Joe is mentioned it has a MFGDStEye in front of his name.
If anyone has any idea where he is please let me know. His family is worried. I will do my best to take his place; the plastic surgery was nearly perfect, although I have to say I look a great deal better than he did when he escaped us. I will post about tonight's game in a few minutes, but again I beg your indulgence. I have neither his talent nor am I as fleet afoot as he. But we do the best we can with who we have, right?
* the extra run, btw, 'scored' when Heffe later hit into a double play. He was so slow to first, that the scorekeeper got confused and must have counted the runner coming home from third base. What a team player he was...
Like I said there were a lot of missing pieces. Here is what I found:
Down 1-0 in the bottom of the second, Heffe led off with a shot that nearly tore off the pitcher's glove. The pitcher was crying it was hit so hard. Heffe was on first, studying the pitcher's move, ready to steal second. Never mind this was slow pitch softball. He was gonna go on the first pitch anyway. The pitcher stared him down at first, daring him to go. When SUDDENLY, there was a chorus erupting from the home team bench. I didn't even know there was such a song and dance. "Runner, runner, we need a runner, oh Heffe is so slow we need a runner." It was off key, but the message was clear. Our hero couldn't believe it. He capitulated, and even though no one else on the team is smart enough to even know that word, they continued the game.
Eventually that inning (Which Heffe Started) plated 9 runs, and the game had little drama after that, ending in an 18-4 victory (although they credited us with an extra run to make it officially a 19-4 slaughter rule win*). I think there were a couple of extra base hits in the inning - the notes say something about that M$%$#% Reggie getting a two run triple and G the inglorious B#$%$#^#% hitting a clutch two out double. But I can't quite make it out between the drool and the blood. Seems everyone else is mentioned like Chuck with 3 hits and Randy with a two run triple and Gene 2 for 2 with a Sac Fly and 4 RBIs, but every name has an MF or a GD in front of it. Some even have CkSkMF. Except one. For some reason every time Joe is mentioned it has a MFGDStEye in front of his name.
If anyone has any idea where he is please let me know. His family is worried. I will do my best to take his place; the plastic surgery was nearly perfect, although I have to say I look a great deal better than he did when he escaped us. I will post about tonight's game in a few minutes, but again I beg your indulgence. I have neither his talent nor am I as fleet afoot as he. But we do the best we can with who we have, right?
* the extra run, btw, 'scored' when Heffe later hit into a double play. He was so slow to first, that the scorekeeper got confused and must have counted the runner coming home from third base. What a team player he was...
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