(Dys)Functional Team One 19, (MIA) Team Four 11

I'm trying to wrap my arms around the nomenclature here.

The Dysfunctional Ones built a 15-4 lead over the admittedly shorthanded though very talented Team Four through five innings, and 19-4 through the top of the seventh. And coasted to victory after that.

We should all be so dysfunctional. We all wish we were that dysfunctional.

Along the way we had three five run innings. Team One does not have a lot of power hitters, but we can be relentless. In the third we put seven singles out of eight batters. Same thing in the seventh, with a double and a sac fly thrown in. In the fifth inning five spot, we did flex some muscles - Charlie Pastor drove a ball past the the left fielder for a three run homer, and Art Miner promptly hit the same ball, but his sore hamstring held him to a double. In the second we scored three on a double by Art Oller sandwiched by hit by Neil Henry, James Little, Julia Gillette, and a clutch two out hit by Bob Muegge.

In the mean time on the mound Muegge and Bill Warren had the Fours eating out of their hands, with notable help from our defense. Warren even got a swinging strikeout. We turned multiple double plays, again. Pastor made a great play up the middle to get a putout in the third. Paul Lisi caught a ball on the run in the seventh.

The Four made a run in the eighth but it was too little too late.

Pastor had himself a game, 4-4, two doubles, the homer, and altogether six RBIs. Lisi joined him at 4-4 withe three runs scored and three driven in. Most everyone else had two hits.

We look forward to more dysfunction after our bye week next week. Maybe we'll get some better meds, but I don't want to change a thing.

Mashed Ball Tip

With our backs to the wall, and missing three of our best mashers (D, Knight and Lefty, and yes, I picked that word deliberately), The Coneheads had our most complete game in, I don't know how long. Final score 16-8 in four innings.

It seemed like every ball we hit was a line drive here there and everywhere. Pope was back with a vengeance - 4-4 with a two run homer in the first that put the Ball Tip Boyzzz on notice. They had taken a 4-0 lead in the top of the first, but this was the statement that that wasn't going to last, and they better find something better than that. We poured on four more, Johnny also had a two run hit, a double screaming down the left field line.

The Boyzzz tied it in the top of the second, and then the real fireworks started. We sent 14 men to the plate in the second and by the time the inning ended, they were just lollygagging their way to the liners we were hitting, and we took extra bases with impunity. In the nine run inning, Bruce had a long triple, and Chuck and Ol' G crushed run scoring doubles.

The rest was just playing out the string until time ran out. Larry held them scoreless for two of his three innings, aided by the  usual strong defense. Haze had a full out running catch with his back to the plate in the second; we would have noticed that he juggled it and caught it ultimately against his chest if we could see the dimly lit right field. In the same inning Chuck "I don't have fun unless I get dirty" went full lunge to wrap up a foul ball half way to home; and Sting had a gapper robbing running catch in the third, just to make sure the Coach knows where his comfort zone is.

Chopper joined Pope at 4-4, Randy was 3-4 and tied Pope with a team high three RBIs. Chuck was a perfect 3-3, and he was matched by Bruce with three hits.

It was do or die, and we ensured that we will end up ahead of the Boyzzz if we win next week. And it's still do or die in our last game to make the playoffs. Win - we're in. If we lose there are scenarios where we still make it but they are not likely. So we know what we have to do to Jupiter Construction. All we need to know is that a win sets up a date with Cream and Clear, and guess who is their only loss this season?

We hit like we did this week, and we will take Jupiter down. You saw it here first.

Milestones:
Chopper        350 rbi (#14)
Haze             150 rbi(#21)
Johnny          150 ab (#28)

Number One! One over Three 17-13

Team One came out of the starting blocks today by hitting for a cycle. Single by Chip Sharpe, double by Paul Lisi, a home run over the left fielder's head courtesy of Charlie Pastor, and Art Miner bombed a triple. Everyone after that hit a crisp line drive - the only out made the rest of the frame was a line shot that found grass by Neil Henry, but unfortunately, Three got a force at second.When Art Oller walked and Bob Shipway singled, we had our five runs.

We spent the rest of the game fighting off the Curse of the First. In the second, Team Three came roaring back to knot it up at five each.We added on with two in the fourth and one in the fifth and another five spot in the sixth. In the mean time our pitchers were holding the powerful Three lineup at bay. We looked good at 13-5 going into the bottom of the sixth but Three chipped away with eight runs while we zeroed out in the next two and a half innings. They finally had tied it up. But in the ninth, yours truly singled to start a four run rally, and when Sharpe, Lisi, and Bill Warren came up with run scoring hits, we had a four run lead. Good Defense and Bob Muegge's pitching shut down Team Three in the bottom of the ninth, and that was all she wrote.

Team One had some fine defense (and pitching, by Muegge, Sharpe and Warren), and that may have made the difference. Shipway took a hot shot up the middle and turned it into an 11U-3 double play. Lisi showed the range that makes him one of the league's best outfielders in the third with two running catches. Julia Gillette made a huge running catch in right in the seventh. Chewy Little handled a hot shot in the hole at shortstop and got a force on the lead runner at third. Miner and Pastor combined for one of those outfield forces at second when Miner came up throwing and zinged it to Pastor who barely made it to the bag in time.

The play of the day runner up made the manager look really good. In Henry's single inning behind the dish, he came springing out and lunging to catch a little popup up the first base line in foul ground. Thanks, Neil! Right man, right time, right place.

The actual play of the day was a throw on a hit to the outfield. Mark "I never stop running" Pitzlin rounded third and made for home. The ball was tossed to Little, who fired an absolute bullet to Muegge at home and it nailed Pitzlin by two steps.

Warren paced us with four hits. Sharpe, Pastor and Miner had three. Heffe had a 2-2 plus a walk day in returning from injury. Mike Natali hit a couple of laser shots.

Pastor led the way with four RBIs. Of note was that we had three Ks, in a rarity in softball we had more strikeouts than walks. Maybe we should strike out more often!

At Long Last, the Conehead Inning

Granted the Dusty Nuts will never be confused with Jupiter Construction or Cream and Clear, but...

We broke out of our season long slump with a tidy eleven run first, and the game was over from there. Seven straight singles to start the game - Randy, Sting, Pope, Knight, D, Ol' G, and Lefty-Righty, and the train was moving. Haze, Joe (!), and Randy again made it 7-0. Sting topped it off with a grand slam to deepest center (how great is it to have Reg back???).

In the second it was more of the same. Five straight hits, then four more after an out. All singles. The mini Conehead inning - seven runs.

Granted, we had some help from the Dusty Nuts' defense or lack thereof, but still. Another five rounded out the scoring in the fourth and after five the slaughter was on.

Besides the Sting Salami, extra base hits included triples by Randy, Pope and Lefty-Righty. This caused the latter to turn around and bat right handed, and it was glorious to see him strike out with a mighty cut in the last inning. Maybe the cages?

D set the pace with five hits, and Randy, Knight and Ol' G were right behind with four apiece. On defense, we adjusted our defense with Sting moving back to his comfort zone in left center, and Randy back to SS. The next two innings were identical - two fly outs to left center and a fielder's choice 6-4 putout. The ball will find you and we will find outs with it.

All in all a good rebound from our debacle last week. As we sit here with two games left, we actually have a small shot at the playoffs but obviously we will need to win out. Starts this Monday.

Milestones:
Pope        300 g (#7)
D             450 h (#14)

The One Engine That Could, One 11 - 2 Over Four

As the other two teams were pummeling each other with 50 total runs on field one, Team One turned timely hitting and great defense into an 11-10 squeaker over Team Four. Team One was like the little engine that could, I think I can I think I can, I think I can, and ultimately I knew I could.

The teams were locked in a pitchers' duel through three innings, with Team Four taking a 3-2 lead in the first that stood up through the first third of the game. Our big hit in the first was a gap double by Art Miner. In the middle innings our clutch hitting and shutdown pitching by Chip Sharpe enabled Team One to increase the lead to 5-3 and then 7-3. RBI at bats came from Mike Natali, Julia Gillette, Paul Lisi, and Chewy Little. Bob Muegge came back in to close it out, and held the Four juggernaut to nothing more through eight.

Defensive highlights included a nice stop and force out by Charlie Pastor at 3B, and a great running catch in right field by Gillette. Little made a controversial double play when he received an offline throw and swiped the second base bag and nailed the runner at first. Art Oller made a good catch in right center in the sixth.

In the bottom of the eighth we broke through with five runs, finally, on a one out hit by Natali, and then consecutive hits by Ed Fieszli, Muegge, Sharpe, Lisi (a two run bloop double), Little, and Miner.

It was all we needed as it turned out, but barely, as we enjoyed a 11-3 lead going into the ninth. The Four finally broke through themselves in the top of the ninth with eight runs, but alas. In the end Oller went from hero to goat - he made an error that set up the tying run at third and the lead run at second, and then finished the game with a great stop on a hot grounder to the hot corner - he willed that ball into his glove and stepped on third for the final out. Contrary to what my esteemed colleague wrote, we had it all the way. Well, at least we had the hammer if it came to it.

A very good game, and when you retire Lee Namanny twice in a game, you know you did something right!

Kapsching Off a Great Year

I've never been able to wrap my arms around our team name being Kapsch. It was hard enough being Transdyn, that took a while too. I always thought we should be the Controllers, or the PLCs or Ladder Logic, or Control Algorithms. But we never really gave it much thought.

Such is the life of a sponsored team I suppose. We do owe Transdyn/Kapsch and our GM Monty a debt of hundreds of dollars (of gratitude) each in team dues.

And now we made the Austrians (Kapsch is an Austrian company) proud again, with our second Cotton winning season in a row. We got nice Royal Blue hoodies too.

I am hoping Tuesday night's sweep of the playoffs is taken not as a signal of dominance of the Lower Upper D or whatever they are calling our division, but as testament that we are playing at the right level for us. We won the first 15-11 over a Pleasanton Auto team that should be better than they are, and the second 15-10 over a Blue Dots team that, while they claim to be as old as us, I don't think have a chance to be less than five years younger than us in average age. Not exactly dominant, just victorious.

The closeness of the games made them actually really good to watch and play in. In both games we took a lead, only to give it up, but ultimately come through in the clutch to rally for victory. There were heroes up and down the lineup.

In the opener, we jumped out to a 6-0 lead after two. Five in the first when we batted around. A two run double by Cage to start the scoring. Clutch two out hits from Tom, JT, and Coop. But in the third the Auto club had other ideas. They used it all up hitting line drives all over the field with the aluminum bats.They ended up with eight but it could have gotten worse. Gregg Made a great shoe-top catch in left field, his first of two in the game, to get the first out. Later, I saw JT playing really shallow in right center. I was about to call out to him, but on the next pitch the batter hit a line drive 'single' right in front of him, and he slung the ball to second to turn it into just another fielder's choice. Those two outs kept it from getting completely out of hand, and we came into the dugout just down two.

That was when Gregg completely took over. He hit two mighty blasts - both three run homers - in the fourth and the sixth. The latter took us from 12-11 to 15-11 with about a minute left. After a Bert 'single' over the fence, D hit the hardest ball of the night - the right center fielder took a step in, and then watched helplessly as the rising line drive sailed over his head to the fence. Time had run out, literally, on Pleasanton Auto.

Jay and B were perfect table setters with three hits each plus a J walk. Cage added a couple more RBIs and ended up with four on two hits and a sac fly.

On the way in to the park, I told Tom and Coop that the key to victory was the two of them getting hits - they needed to go 5-8 or better. Well, they went 5-5 plus a Coop Sac Fly. A good coach knows when to put the right kind of pressure on.

On to the Championship game. Blue Dots had upset a shorthanded M.A.R.A. in the playoff opener. I was glad, they have been a friendly rival over the years. I mentioned earlier that we have now played them more than any other team in our 20+ years. We have owned them 20-8 in the regular season, but were only 2-2 in the playoffs against them coming into Tuesday.

The game followed a similar script, with some of the names shifted around. We started off 2-2 in the first as Gregg and Bert had run scoring singles to answer their two top of the first runs. This time we only took an early 4-2 lead as the same pair drove in runs in the third. Sure enough the Blue Dots answered with three and they had their only lead of the game at 5-4.

This woke us up. My Mantra "the bottom of the order hits, we win" kicked in. With one out, singles by Coop, JT, and Monty tied it up and set it up for the top of the order. J, B, and Cage all singled and then with two outs, Bert erased all doubts with a tremendous three run blast. It was only 11-5 but the air was out of the Blue Dots tires. We added on with a pair of runs in the fifth and sixth (Bert with another homer, this time two runs). And even though they rallied with five in the seventh to make it 15-10, that just made it respectable - we were never worried.

Bert had the two homers and seven RBIs in a 4-4 game. B had three knocks, and Cage stayed hot with two hits and a walk. Jay had two knocks and two RBIs. This time the bottom of the order meant JT and Monty. JT had two hits and Monty, who had been hitting it hard but right at people, was rewarded by having his hits fall in this one as he went 3-3. One started the scoring in our seven run fourth, and the next was a clutch two out RBI single in the next inning.

Both middle infielders had great plays to highlight the defense. J went way behind first to get a diving catch in the fourth. But the play of the day was in the third - B snaring a back-handed shot in the 5-6 hole, quickly firing to Jay at second, who snapped a throw to first for the double play. These guys came to play.

Very satisfying wins, and Cotton. Many thanks to Sir Guy for keeping us lubricated after the games, and to Mario for relieving me of some of the stress of rounding everyone up from week to week. But let's face it, I can't get away without taking some credit. The hit of the year was my corkscrew dribbler that went 70 feet in slow motion around third base for an infield single. Top that.

Milestones:
Game 1
Coop          1550 ab (#1)
Cage          500 rbi (#1)
Monty        1150 ab (#3)
Jay             200 g (#10)
B               300 ab (#18)
Gregg        50 r (#35)

Game 2
Jay            200 rbi (#14)
B              30 2b (#16)
Gregg       10 2b (#32)

An All Time Thriller!

36-5. The Coneheads Lost.

But not to worry, I think we did, in fact, set a team record. I looked in the way back machine - I have scores going back basically to 2000 when I joined the Coneheads.

I know I am sick but I have a spreadsheet where I record every game I play in which one or both teams score at least 30. The Coneheads have 51 of the 122 entries. Our record in those 51 games is 44-7.

Well, had. Now it is 52 and 44-8.

A mere two years ago, we lost a game 35-9. It was against 12 Angry Men. I guess we made them extra angry that evening.

And until last night, that was our worst drubbing. And nothing before that was even close to that bad a defeat - ,most of them had scores like 22-31. Congratulations, Honkers. Ya done us good.