3.2.1...Blastoff!

I'm gonna be 60 within two weeks, and I never knew pressure like this in all my decades.

Pope, Ol' G, and D went back to back to back in the first inning of the Conehead game last night. Derek hit it so hard and so far, he admired it, then he hobbled to first, then thought about a double, hobbled to second, thought about it some more, and so on until he scored before the ball got back to the infield.

Now it's up to me to continue the streak. What do I do? How can I go yard? I mean I haven't done that in like 10 years...and it usually requires someone falling down...

Stay within yourself...see ball hit ball...don't over swing...you can do this...I close my eyes, and take a mighty swing...and when I open them I see the ball in the 5-6 hole, and the shortstop almost gets to it but instead deflects it into short left field...the third baseman chases it down, picks it up while I round first. Another damn single.

And then the miracle happened...there's no one covering second! So I steal second base!

Now we have seen home runs in game after game after game on this team. We've seen Pope stretch singles into doubles with head first slides. But tell me, have you ever seen a stolen base in slowpitch softball???

And that's how it went in our game against the Reds. Larry hit the other home run. Sting coulda had one in the first - he stopped at third with no outs and Pope on deck. That woulda been back to back to back to back. How utterly demoralizing to the Reds.

The middle of the order batting line: 12-12, 11 runs, 3 doubles, a triple and 2 HRs for 11 RBIs (G, D, and me). Pope drove in a team leading 5 on a couple of hits and a sac fly. Chuck, who made a very professional stop on a hot one hopper to his left, scored four times, drawing two walks to go with his two hits. Joe started the 1-6-3 slick double play.

We even gave them mercy from the mercy rule - after we took a 1-2-3 and out in order extra frame (the score was past the mercy rule after five), we gave them a shot to score fifteen in the phantom sixth. The ump was having none of it - he marked the score 24-9 even after they eked out a couple of runs in the sixth.

Next week another double header. Fun fun fun til Daddy takes the T-bird away. Or the lights go out, whichever comes first.

Signed Heffe 'Rickey' Heffinator

Milestones:
Pope          650 rbi (#1)
Chuck        1600 ab (#1)
Pope          120 ab (#2)
Heffe          550 rbi (#3)
Ol' G          700 ab (#14)
Chopper     30 2b (#20)

Just Wait Til Next Year

Next time we play St. Mo's, we are all batting the opposite and playing out of our regular positions. Because, after all, when do we do that? When we are just slaughtering someone. Why not just do that from the beginning of the game?

And they just have our number, or so it seems. On Monday we plated all of two runs in the first three innings. The night was so strange that we had the exact same inning in the first and the third: Chuck got to first (ok the second one was a walk not a hit), Reg put one over the fence 900 feet away ON A BOUNCE, so it was ruled a ground rule double, Pope brought in Chuck with an out, Lefty hit a sac fly to bring in Reg, and Bruce ended the inning.

We took a 6-0 lead into the top of the sixth. One bad inning, and suddenly it was 8-6, and even though we tied it in the bottom of the sixth, gave up one more in the seventh then went down quietly, one two three to end it.

9-8, 6-5, 13-11, 20-14, these are the scores the last four losses out of the last five games with them. We have lost five total games to the rest of the league combined over that time. Something's gotta change.

A few of us had decent games, led by G who went 3-3 with a triple, but there was no Conehead inning to be had, and so we were had. Our luck we will draw them first game in the playoffs like last year but look what happened then. We would welcome yet another chance for revenge.

The weather was strange at Wilder that night - the later it got the warmer it was, and the sunset was outstanding over the East Bay hills. Maybe that affected us, as we managed to eke out an 11-6 win in the nightcap over the Areolas. We got warmer as the night went on as we scored nine runs the last three innings.

Sting continued to be a highlight reel - he hit a bomb but this time managed to get the ball to land in a way it stayed in the park, and he could follow Joe's runner in for a two run homer. Sting was joined by Pope, Lefty and Heffe with three hit games. But the game turned when we got patient and the Areola pitcher could not find the plate - Chopper (!), Haz and Joe all took walks to set up our mini-Conehead five run fifth that put us ahead to stay.

With our second loss in the opener, it will be tough to end up first or possibly even second. That did not seem to matter the last couple years, we know when it really counts in this league. And besides, don't we want St. Mo's to open the playoffs again? I'm going 4-4 batting righty, and making diving catches in left field.

Milestones:
Game 1
Larry        1200 ab (#4)
Larry        70 2b (#8)

Game 2
Heffe         150 2b (#1)
Chuck       600 rbi (#2)
Sting         20 gw (#3)
Chuck       30 sf (#7)
Lefty         20 3b (#16)
Lefty         30 2b (#19)
Chopper   350 ab (#19)

Joeless and Shoeless, Again

This is how it goes...time to clinch the regular season championship and the coach is out of town, one outfielder is hurt, our second baseman is missing the one game he misses per year. Our regular subs are missing in action, but luckily we have pressed GMac into action, so we will have twelve players, one over a full team in the over 40 league, so we are protected in case someone goes down.

Then of course I get the warning that our third baseman may get 'stuck' at his daughter's softball tournament if she makes it to the championship, and then our catcher neglected to tell me (until two hours before game time) that he is playing an hour away and won't be leaving there until 35 minutes before the bell goes off in ours. Are we a little math challenged?

The topper is that Lefty arrives in sandals, and finds he has no shoes. Literally. No tennis shoes, no dress shoes, no spare golf shoes in the trunk (although the Knight did offer his), no army boots, just a pair of oh so comfy sandals. The casual look is in.

Ah but we are playing the last place and fairly hapless Crazy 88's for the second week in a row, and they can only field nine breathing bodies, some of whom we certainly haven't seen before. Not sure if they actually were breathing. And so it went from there.

Randy and Chopper made it by the second inning - Randy just in time to change out of his wife-beater to take a spot in the lineup at the bottom. By the time he arrived, we were in the midst of our first of two seven run innings that committed the Crazy 88's to yet another defeat. We ended up winning 16-4 and it really wasn't that close.

In the first rally Gene took advantage of the three outfielders and hit a looping gapper to knock in the first run and later the Knight blasted one far deeper into the gap for a two run triple. In the third it was more of the same but we were aided by some rather shoddy defense as four runs scored on errors.

D led the team with four hits, with Knight just behind with three. Gene and Reg made nice running catches on defense, Chuck picked off a couple of tough chances, Johnny was solid as he probably had the most action on the infield, and D made two nice plays - one he hustled on his gimpy knees to grab a dribbler in front of home to get a guy, and on another picked off a laser over his head.

And so it was written or will be in this sentence, that we clinched a first place finish with a game to go for the first time since arch-rival Pinky's has jumped into our league (actually longer - there was Rocco's before that so it's been since 2009). And we know what that means - not a whole lot. It gives us the first playoff game against the fourth place team, but really is there much difference between Corona's and Advance Construction? When I left the park the two of them were tied 7-7 in the fourth or fifth inning in the game following ours, as they played to settle who ends up third.

So we don't care who we play first but it does feel good to go into the playoffs knowing that this year things are different. And who knows - we are due to have a different outcome in the playoffs.

Milestones:
6/22
Heffe        400 ab (#3)

6/29
Ol' G        100 rbi (#6)

7/13
Chuck       100 rbi (#7)
Joe            100 r (#7)

7/20
None

You Just Can't Win Em All

You look at the championship games last year between the Coneheads and the Old Scouts (yes there were two) and what jumps out at you is that these were two very evenly matched teams...we won two games by a total of four runs, and that included our epic eight run sixth inning to take the ultimate contest.

So it should not come as a surprise that we battled to the end Monday night against the Scouts and the winner was on a walkoff hit by the home team. Unfortunately, it was the Old Scouts that drew the 'home' game this year, and we fell 21-20.

We trailed much of the game: 2-1, 9-7, and finally 13-7 after four innings. But when we rallied with two mini-Conehead innings in the 5th and 6th, we seemed destined to pull out a victory. I mean how many teams come back from a six run deficit against this team in the last inning?

The Scouts had other ideas. I will tell you one thing - they picked up a couple of new players that can hit. They all hit in the bottom of the sixth, we barely got an out before the winning run scored. Ironically, Randy our teammate on Sundays and in the fall, had a chance to win it, but only managed to tie it, and someone else became the hero. If I wrote the script Randy would have blasted it over our heads to win the game, if they were going to win anyway.

Johnny was nowhere to be found - perhaps he just can't play against us any more (kidding).

We may not go undefeated, but the game sets up the playoffs...there is no predicting, and there is still the Cal Broncos to deal with, but it sure looks like these two teams could make it to the finals again this year.

The Jeffs had big games - Hazel had five RBIs with a mini-cycle, and Heffe led the team with four hits. Haz - who ironically was the only one not to score - was not the only one with a mini-cycle; he was joined by Chuck and Bruce. Bruce hit one nearly to the street in right center. Larry slugged another triple among three hits - he is our new power hitter. Sting and Markley rounded out the players with three knocks.

Double header Monday, a great chance to get back on the winning track in a hurry.

Milestone:
Larry        30 3b (#7)

Plie

There was a moment in the Conehead Waitlister game. I mean when we weren't laughing our asses off at the antics at third base. When we weren't running around scoring 16 runs in one inning. When we weren't watching in awe at liner after liner by the three big lefties, Pope, D and Bruce (and Lefty and...who else is lefty?). When we weren't watching Larry nail the line for a home run (what - an old guy that can run???), and we certainly weren't watching our new power man Chuck hitting a gapper.

It actually did happen during our XVI Conehead inning. I was headed to third on a single to right by Larry with the Chop Chop on first. Chopper thought it might be caught, and then had to hustle into second as the throw cam in. And he SLUD! Or was it a flop? Regardless, he had to stop all that momentum (Force = Mass X Acceleration, and he wasn't accelerating), and he landed and that momentum started to take him past the bag and then a remarkable thing happened. His left leg raised into the air but his right one stayed on the bag, and it was a Perfect Plie, only horizontal. That'a pronounced PLEE-AY for those who have never had the pleasure of partaking in the fine art of ballet. I think there is a place for Chopper in the next summer Olympics, in artistic Gymnastics. Or maybe, even, the Bolshoi Ballet? Only time will tell.

And speaking of artistic endeavors, how bout that guy at third base? I mean I don't think Sting has played seven innings total in his life at the hot corner before this game. And everything found it's way to him. I have faith that he will learn to cover the bag, given a couple of hundred games there. And who has a 7-(hit runner)-2-5-2 assist on their resume? But seriously, it is a testament to the all around talent of one of the most athletic guys on this or any team - and even more important that Reggie went to third for the sake of the team if that's what it needs (more depth at third). Bravo Sting!

The rest was all Joe keeping the Waitlisters off balance, some nice catches in the outfield, and mostly HIT HIT HIT particularly in the sixteen run fourth. Five guys were 2-2 in the inning, led by Chopper with a homer and a single and Bruce with a triple and a single. Game leaders were Pope with 4-4 and two doubles, Larry 3-3 with a HR, Chopper 2-2 and a walk with a HR. D was 3-3 and a game high 5 RBIs because he also had TWO RBIs on one sac fly, it was so deep.

If Knight makes the game, before first pitch in lieu of BP he will teach a class: Playing Third - Hot Corner or Cool as a Cucumber? Maybe Randy will make a guest appearance. All are urged to attend.

Milestones:
Chuck        1050 h (#1)
Heffe          1400 ab (#2)
Chuck        110 2b (#3)
Pope          850 ab (#8)
Larry          20 hr (#10)
Sting           750 ab (#11)

Pick a Bale of Cotton

I can't believe I haven't posted for Transdyn since the first time we beat the Ringers. Almost a month ago.

I'm a little leery to start now. Superstitious and all. Because, we haven't lost since then, seven in a row, and stand on the brink of coming back from a 1-3 start to claim the regular season Cotton this Tuesday.

Including two forfeits in a row, first the conventional variety. Our opponents the Ballers got in a fight the week before and one of their best players was suspended, and their response was...don't show up the next week and don't have to courtesy to tell the other team. BP for Bonzos. That would be us, the Bonzos. they were the Bozos in this case.

Then in one of the most bizarre results ever, we played the Blue Dots, long time adversary. They showed up with a well known tournament pitcher, who may or may not also be on the roster of a C league team that played before us on another field. He was doubledipping on a night when the Blue Dots needed a pitcher. Mario, the teammate that doubles as a field monitor on his nights off, and who was sitting out with a sore back, was all over it and in my ear. "If you call it before the fourth inning it's a forfeit." Well I don't want to win that way. This team will come back and smother them.

I learn from the head ump Rusty (who also happens to either be listed on their roster or was until this year) that if I call the pitcher out after the fourth, he is out every time he comes up to bat, and he is tossed out of the game. We aren't scoring - by the top of the sixth we are down 5-2. My resolve is weakening. The pitcher comes up in a potential rally, and I say toss his ass. We hold but still can't score enough, and lose 6-3.

Except not. The fun was just beginning. Apparently the Blue Dot coach was suspended for two games over these shenanigans, and in his plea bargain, he trades the game for lifting the suspension, and we have a forfeit and our winning streak is intact.

That made the next week's game with the first place Ringers ever so important. Beat them by 3+ runs, and we hold the tiebreaker and if both teams win out, we win by that tiebreaker.

We tore them apart. We jumped on them for five in the first and when they crept back to 8-5 after five, we put up five and then nine in the last inning to win going away 22-8. It was the statement game we had waited for. Mario made a great grab on a line shot to second. Jas, D, and Rams all had four hits, and Cage had a double and a triple for the minicycle.

Then last week we continued the trend. In the first we batted around plating seven. The big blow was a massive bomb by D to make it 3-0 but we didn't stop there. We followed up with six straight hits to get four more runs.

However then we stopped hitting. The Ballers had re-tooled, and there were some new faces we had not seen before. Sir Guy kept it somewhat in check - he struck out two in the fourth. Somewhere in there Cage threw out a guy at home. But aided by some shaky defense, they closed it to 7-6 by the bottom of the fifth. Cage got to second on a wild throw with two outs, and the Ballers made a bad mistake. D had followed his home run with a much harder hit ball in the second, but it was right at the right fielder playing at the fence. So up he strode and they put him on to, presumably set up the force everywhere except home. To get to Hama. Now I understand walking D, but to get to Hama? Really? And then they played him shallow. particularly up the middle. He promptly put on an upswing and the ball carried and carried, and hit the very top of the fence in straightaway center! It careened back to the field, so he ended up with just a double but it gave us back a three run lead.

In the last inning, the Ballers managed to tie it up but we held it there with about three minutes left on the clock. Pauly strode up, determined to get the winning rally started. And Heffe and Chopper followed suit to get the bases loaded with no outs. Tom could not quite hit a deep enough fly ball to win it, but in fitting fashion, our next hope was super-sub Mark. He has been a trooper - it's tough to come onto a team full of injuries and contribute to it, only to be told that guys don't lose their spots due to injuries, and with regulars coming back, we had to tell him he has to stay a sub. And then of course we had to call him last minute once again this night. And what does he do but hit a sinking liner that the center fielder can't quite get to, and we win the game, and remain tied for first. nice job, Rook!

So it sets up the grudge match with the Blue Dots with regular season cotton on the line. They will be gunning for us - the last game was not pretty. The reason they even used the illegal player was that they apparently have been devastated by injuries, and they also got permission to add 'emergency' players. They gonna be loaded for bear, or at least Transdyn!

Should be fun.

Milestones:
6/10
Cage         20 3b (#4)
Pauly        300 h (#8)
Rams        250 ab (#19)

6/17
Jas            250 h (#11)

What a Difference a Year Makes

Something is wrong this season, and it's only game two.

Last season, we were left wondering what happened to us as we dropped the first two games, 6-5 and 15-12 to St. Mo's and the Waitlisters, respectively. Bad baserunning in one game and no hitting in the other. Did we get old that fast?

The Waitlisters rode that game to the regular season championship. Well we know what happened the rest of the season, despite some unevenness and the first game loss in the playoffs, we took the Cotton away from every other team - thanks to losing the first we beat every other team in the tournament on our way to the third straight Orinda Championship and seventh overall.

And by the looks of our first two games, we have not looked back. We scored 68 runs in the first couple, and this is now when there are no more nine inning games to fatten the stats. You could say, well last week was the Usual Victims...er Suspects, and they look to be worse than ever.

But the first game was against Bay Alarm nee Pennini's, who tied with Cal Gaels, Old Scouts and us in second place last year at 8-3. The game featured not one but two Conehead rallies (nine and twelve runs) and one thing that it really showed is that our outfielders know how to play the turf better than anyone else - numerous balls bounced over Alarmed fielders to give us lots of extra bases.

Sting had a three run bomb and Chuck hit a salami among his four hits, but the hitting star was Ol'd G. Thanks to Joe stopping him at third the first time when he could have walked home, G hit three triples to set a Conehead single game record. At least in the MCE (Modern Conehead Era i.e. Heffinator stats, which goes back to 2002). Yes - I looked it up. There were a few that hit two (including your truly) and some that hit two multiple times (including Larry and Chopper). But the team  rarely hit more than three in a game, and G wiped them all off the record books with his performance against Bay Alarm. Tied Chuck for a game high five RBIs as well.

Honorable mentions for game balls go to Derek, who had a perfect five hits that might have been triples turned into singles, and Bruce who slashed four line shots of the kind we are getting used to, one a tweener that resulted in a home run. Haz also went yard.

The Bonehead award for the game goes to the entire Bay Alarm team for going ballistic over a runner called out for not tagging up in the middle innings. Granted, the ump completely blew the call, he must have been looking at the third base coach. However give him some credit - the coach definitely failed to tag up. And in their hotheaded defense - the game was still somewhat close, heat of the moment and all that. Still, partly because Bay Alarm completely lost it, it helped turn things against them. After that we stepped on the accelerator with our second Conehead inning to pull away.

In the Usual Suspect game...well what can we say. It was 13-0 before they came up to bat, and 22-2 after two. The ump even gave us two runs - we scored forty, but the ump had it down as a final of 42-3. Sting had two homers and five RBIs after his second at bat in the first inning, albeit one was of the Conehead variety. That alone would have won the game.

Markley was a perfect 5-5 with seven RBIs. Our new power hitter Chuck had another bomb, this one for three RBIs among four more hits. Gene turned in five RBIs along with Sting, and Lefty also was a perfect 5-5. All together nine players had four or five hits, everyone had at least three and scored at least twice, and drove in a run. You couldn't really pad your stats in this game - everyone did.

Comic relief was provided by yours truly when we improved the outfield by putting Chuck and me in the middle. I did my best Sting impression - watched a ball that I thought was right at Chuck but tailed more toward me, as it split us for a Suspect third run. Larry won't talk to me any more as it ruined his ERA. But at least Derek kept his scoreless inning streak going in the final inning (after the JFT shutout with Joe in Italy) - perhaps because he got the Suspects to hit away from RC where I was camped. Had 'smores too while I watched everyone else catch balls to end the game. They were delicious.

Milestones:
6/9:
Sting          50 hr (#2)
Chuck       20 gw (#2)
Joe            1200 ab (#3)
Ol' G         350 rbi (#12)

6/16
D              350 ab (#18)
Lefty         150 rbi (#19)
Markley    250 ab (#21)
Markley    100 r (#22)