I coulda had a V8

Or been anywhere else when the Coneheads got hammered by Advance Construction Sunday. One of the Advance Construction team members is on my Creaker team this year. He's always telling me how they have dominated the league the last few years. And looking at yesterday's game, you might be inclined to believe him.

14-2. Not pretty.

So I had to look it up. Covid has stretched out our concept of time. In 2019, indeed they were 10-4 and we were a distant third at 6-7-1. And in 2018 they were 12-1 and we were in third at 8-5-1. But that year we tore through the playoffs, and took down Big Feet and them. Before that of course we ended the season in first place four straight years.

Not exactly Advance dominance, but judging from Sunday afternoon the torch may have been passed.

We are in a period of transition - coaching change, Joe retired. And we added a lot of talent but talent takes a while to gel. That's where we are today.

We started off well enough. Loaded the bases in the first with no outs, D got us on the board with a hit. And then - two popups and a ground out. Advance didn't start any better, only scoring once in the first two innings. We took our first (and last) lead in the second. It was a Chopper special - he doubled and when Gene grounded out to third, he just kept running, drew a throw that should have been the faux pas third out at third, and of course they airmailed it to get him off the hook.

But unfortunately that was it for our scoring - Advance shut us out the rest of the way. 

Defensive highlights included a 6U-3 double play by Randy, the new Joe's first Conehead K, and Gene and Pope making tough catches with the Field 3 sun in their eyes in the 6th.

Hopefully we will start hitting next week.

The Orange Purple People Eater. 25-22

"Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky

It had the twelve long horns, and twelve big Orange eyes

I commenced to shakin' and I said "Ooh-eee"

It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a twelve-eyed, twelve-horned, flyin' Orange purple people eater

(Twelve-eyed, Twelve-horned, flyin' Orange purple people eater)

A Twelve-eyed, Twelve-horned, flyin' Orange purple people eater

Sure looks strange to me (one eye?)"

(If you remember this tune, you are probably even more ancient than me)

This is now Frank Coppa's nightmare.

The short handed Orange Monster came out of the sky and ate up the Purple People, 25-22 on field 4 today.

We only had 11 1/2 players, but sometimes having fewer in the lineup just keeps everyone hot and that we were, up and down the lineup.

We dominated the early going. Mark Narciso held the powerful Purple lineup to seven runs in the first five innings. Twice he set down the top of the order - that includes Chip Sharpe, Mark Pitzlin, Gary Tryhorn and Raul Delgado - with zero or one run.

In the top of the first, Mike Saindon made two of his patented great stops at third base to get outs. In the bottom half, Mark Edelstone hit a gapper triple to score a hobbling Kevin Hopkins. Mark ended the day with the 'mini-cycle', a homer, triple, double, and a walk. Gabe Tanaka finished the scoring with a shot down the left field line past the speedy Sharpe and only stopped at second because the fifth run had scored.

In the second we traded four run innings. In the third, Tryhorn smashed a deep fly to dead center that Edelstone tracked down after a long run, and squeezed his glove when the ball rattled around for a while. Then Mark Narciso induced a comebacker from Delgado and made a nice play to get the third out. 

In the fifth we turned over the lineup with six straight hits sandwiched around a bases loaded RBI walk (look it up Frank) to yours truly - the capper being a left center gapper by Hopkins that plated the last two.

There we stood with a commanding 19-7 lead, but we knew the Purple people would make a comeback. And sure enough they did, scoring 12 in the next two frames to tighten the game to 20-19, Suddenly it was anyone's game. 

But in the bottom of the seventh, we answered with five. The game turned on a two out grand slam by Edelstone - again down the left field line. It turned a one run inning into five just like that. Have a game Mark!

In the eighth we traded zeroes - the only time they held us scoreless. It was the right side of the infield's time to shine. The first baseman fell/dove (and then even managed to get up and run to first!) to steal a hit away from one Purple Player, and then Tanaka ranged far to his left to rob another and get the third out.

In the top of the ninth, Delgado did his thing and mashed his second home run, but it was too little too late, and we walked off with the 25-22 win. Purple is undefeated no more! Yum Yum, Eat 'em up!

Brian Black was a perfect 5-5, Art Oller was also perfection at 4-4, Saindon was 4-5, Edelstone led the way with six RBIs.

I voted three MVPs - Edelstone on offense, Tanaka on defense (he also caught a troublesome popup) and Narciso on the mound for making the Purple People look largely ordinary.

Orange 28 Crushes Scarlet 16

There are lots of new players in the American Division this year (and from last) making their debuts this season. So every team is loaded with hitters. No one notices the defense, except when we give the other teams five or six outs in an inning.

In the battle today of the winless Orange and Scarlet, Orange finally put together a few innings of good defense and the very solid pitching of Ike Garcia to soundly defeat Scarlet 28-16. Putting up 28 runs didn't hurt either.

The game was a lot closer than that in the middle innings. The Orange Crush went 1-2-3 in the top of the first but then tallied ten in the next three innings to take a commanding 10-2 lead. The offensive highlight was two run shot over the right center fielder's head by Greg Wilson who touched them all. The defensive highlights were snag/putouts at rover by Mark Narciso and Mike Saindon at third in the fourth and just a crazy good catch in left by Brian Black, on a ball that was seemingly smashed over his head until he reached up and snared it.

In the third we scored five runs on five two out hits by the Coach, Black, Mark Edelstone, Kevin Hopkins, and Vince Francesco. We were on our way.

Ike was dealing and shut out the tough Scarlet lineup for three innings. But Scarlet pecked away with two in the fifth and when we had a defensive relapse in the sixth, they scored six to narrow our lead to 12-10. Our only runs in the middle were on a booming run scoring triple by Saindon, who then also scored on a sac fly by Steve Sloat.

Unlike last week though, this week we were determined to keep our lead. We tallied five in the seventh and four in the eighth punctuated by a triple to left by Narciso. In the ninth we put it away when we batted around with nine of the first ten batters reaching base. We netted seven in the open inning and the 28-16 lead held in the bottom of the ninth.

Francesco was a perfect 5-5, Wilson and Gabe Tanaka had four hits, and Black, Hopkins, Edleston, Saindon, Garcia, Narciso, and Kravin all had three hits to lead the offense.

Smashed Pumpkins 12, Royalty 17 at Rudgear

Last week and throughout the practice games, Team Orange was the Smashing Pumpkins on offense, but played defense like we were all Orange globs.

Today we had some good signs - our defense was greatly improved, holding the monster Royal lineup to 17 is a feat in itself. We played from behind the whole game but it was 3-2 through one, 9-8 through five, and 12-9 through six. We lapsed in the seventh and Royal took advantage to post the only five spot in the game. We heroically held them scoreless in the ninth, and had hopes for a miracle home ninth. But a badly timed double play put us behind the eight ball and we could only muster two runs, and lost 17-12.

Several Orange defensive highlights: Greg Wilson made a diving, tumbling catch in right center to rob the batter of a hit, probably extra bases. Mike Saindon made two diving stops on drilled one hoppers at the hot corner for outs. Brian Black's pitching was actually lights out, and his highlight was a strike three looking on a very good hitter. He also ran down a potential gapper when he went to the outfield. Steve Sloat and Bob Carver made great stops up the middle on a liner and a one hop smash, respectively. The first baseman nearly made a circus catch on a little bloop over his head, but even when he dropped it he managed to get a force out at second.

We had our issues on offense, hitting a lot of grounders right at the Royal infielders. But give Doug Uchikura and his brain trust credit - they were in good position on a lot of our hitters.

There were a few good hits. Art Oller led the way with three line drive hits, and he was joined by Vince Franceschi and Bob Carver. Kevin Hopkins had the best hit - an opposite field double over the left fielder's head. Mark Edlestone also burned the left fielder for a leadoff triple in the fourth.

One of these weeks we will put it all together and then watch out for the Smashing Pumpkins!

From Under the Bus, It's Orange 26 - Green 28

You're not supposed to throw your teammates under the bus in these write-ups. Accentuate the positive, skip the bad. Happy, happy joy joy.

Well...I've never been one to hold back.

The good news is I don't have to name names, because the list is long, and it is crowded here under the bus. Maybe not everyone had an error, but nearly everyone did and it cost us dearly and was the difference in a 28-26 loss to Green.

The other good news is that we are an exciting hitting team. Greg Wilson and Vince Franceschi led the way with four hit perfect games. With three were Brian Black, Mark Edelstone, Ron Schwab, Mike Sainden, Bob Carver, Gabe Tanaka, Kevin Hopkins and yours truly. That's ten out of 14 with at least three hits.

Franceschi had a home run and a triple in his pocket, although his teammates had to practically go out on the field and beg him to keep running on the homer. Vince drove in seven runs to lead the team. Sainden crushed one to Field 6 hobbling on one leg and limped all the way to third base. Hopkins and Ike Garcia also added triples.

I'm hoping next week we discover that we actually own gloves AND know how to use them. There's always hope right?

That's Johnny, Johnny Steele

Johnny Steele is off to live out his days in Big Sky country, and the Coneheads will miss him.

He shoulda been a porn star with a name like that: Johnny Steele, Longer and Wider.

I'll admit it, I looked it up, there's a gay porn star but no hetero equivalent, so maybe it's not too late.

On the other hand, while most of us take some time to acquire our softball nicknames, John came without a need to get one - he real name has it all.

And when he roped a ball over the left fielder's head, as he often did, it made perfect sense - it was as if his arms and bat were made of steel.

There is another comparison. Clark Kent's alter ego was known as the Man of Steel. Like Clark, Johnny was a mile mannered truly great teammate - most of the time. But he did have a bit of a temper and there was the fabulously funny episode when he got into it with his Old Scout teammates on the other side of the field, and ironically the Coneheads had to prepare to defend him, AS AN OPPONENT, in that case.

Mostly, he hit line drive singles and scurried with speed around the bases. But once in a while, he snuck into the phone booth, and took off his softball uniform and emerged with his tights and his cape and bombed one to left.

You could put him anywhere on defense, and he played fly balls and grounders with equal skill. And never complained whether he was in left field, right field, rover, shortstop, catcher, wherever., or batting first, second, or 11th in the order. Just played the game, right, and supported his teammates all around.

And could hold his own in the jibber-jabber over post game beers just as well.

We'll miss you Johnny. Our loss is Big Sky's gain. Take care.

The Rugged Hooligans

It was a time like no other, at last professionally and personally.

Let's face it, I was not a good fit at Chevron Corp., not a good fit for all of nine years too. I thought I would be there a couple of years and then move on. But the first three were so much fun professionally (and they liked me!) and I was making friendships that have lasted to this day, some of them. We were young, just out of college, shared a compassion for Geology and Geophysics, and loved to party. What was not to like?

But after five years it was time to go. I was too much of a rebel. One year the Holiday Party was at Blackhawk Country club, in the exclusive gated neighborhood where celebrities, pro athletes and our local group manager Bob Adamson lived. A rumor started that my partner in crime Ralph and I were going to get on our bikes and on the way to the Holiday Party give a lawn job to Adamson. I was even called into his office to defend myself, BEFORE it happened, even though I had never even considered this act, as cool as it may sound.

I wanted to be vested in their stock plan, and Chevron was reducing the number of years required daily it seemed. If I could just stick it out, it would pay off. And then they offered me a year long temporary transfer to SoCal, where they paid for all expenses, and I couldn't turn that down.

When I returned to the Bay Area, by year 8 1/2 I was burned out. So I went out and got another job. The new employer wanted me to start right away. But I had three weeks of vacation saved up. I needed the break between jobs. And there was an opportunity for some free training I could get at Chevron that would be quite pertinent to my new job. I asked them to wait a couple months and they actually said OK.

The training thing was typical Chevron. I was working on a system at the time comprised of Dec computers running their operating system, VAX. Chevron in their magnanimity had procured training from Dec an unlimited training course (you could take as many classes that they offered for a year for a fixed price) for everyone in the group, but then never gave us the time to go to them. Then, with less than six months left, they told us to pick three to attend. So I had attended one and was scheduled for two more. One was irrelevant, but the other one was central to my new job. Here is what I did:

The first thing was march into by boss' office and tell him I was going to take three weeks vacation, starting...tomorrow. I am sure he knew what was up but amazingly did not question me, I think he was probably glad to get rid of me without having to possibly tell me I was transferred to Houston, as he had been threatening (after taking the vacation, while I was in the class, I actually drove up to the office to give my official notice!).

So I divided the vacation between a family trip for a week and a half, and a bike (motorcycle) trip for the other week and a half. For family vacation (my two daughters were under 5), we decided to visit my wife's best friend from college and family in Ft. Bragg, CA. While we were there, they told us about place called Crabtree Hot Springs out in the middle of the wilderness in Mendocino County. To get there you had to drive up from the south for many miles or from the north for a similar distance. The route from the south was mostly flat, and crossed just a shallow river (one of the forks of the Eel river near its headwaters). However, the last bit was up a very steep hill and then down to the stream that held the hot springs.

Bear in mind in those days, we had a custom converted VW Vanagon for camping. It was the lap of luxury - koa wood throughout, stove, fridge, two double beds, sink, faucet and water tank, fold up kitchen table, and a large tent attachment - the works. However, I say luxury slightly tongue in cheek. The water tank was old and not air tight and needed to be pumped up with an air compressor as often as once a day for there to be water pressure. And there was a leak in the electrical system. The golf cart batteries were supposed to run everything, but you had to run the car for the car batteries to recharge the golf cart batteries quite often - more than you wanted to when you were serenely camped in nature.

But the worst of all was that it was a 1980 VW Vanagon. Which meant that it was air-cooled (VW added a water cooled version a year or two later) and it had an under-powered Porsche engine, which was basically designed for a light sports car.

The van did all right until we came to the Big Hill. Then it became the Little Engine That Could. Or, as it turned out, That Couldn't. It huffed and puffed its way up that hill, and we were about two thirds of the way up, and it just said "No Mas". And had to back all the way back down since the road was too narrow to turn around until near the bottom.

We still had loads of fun. Fun like this: My wife left her purse at the lakeside park where we stopped for a picnic lunch. We didn't realize it until we were camped about an hour later. Fun like I had a tick that burrowed into my neck and did not want to come out no matter what we did, and I was kind of an expert at getting ticks out from having a dog for 14 years that got them constantly. Then when I drove by myself back to the picnic area (miraculously the purse was still there!), a hornet flew into the window and stung me on the other side of my neck.

When we got home I had to have emergency surgery to remove the tick, which was by now probably infected. And they put me on antibiotics - which meant no drinking until the regimen was complete.

But I was determined to get to Crabtree Hot Springs. I decided that the bike trip would be to take the northern route to the hot springs. A few friends and I had made a habit for a few years of taking fully loaded (for camping) street motorcycles into the middle of nowhere seeking the smallest of roads with the least amount of traffic and thus the best of scenery. Our mottoes were "It's only a couple of miles of dirt", and "Rough Road Ahead". We had many successful and a few not so successful adventures this way.

On those trips we may have smoked some smokables and had other stimulants during the days and drank Jack Daniels or brandy at night around the campfire. I made it through three or four days before I said the hell with it and replaced the medicine with alcohol medicine.

The road in from the north went up to Pillsbury Lake on a paved road and then the rest was dirt. Maybe just a few more than a couple miles of dirt. It went down into the canyon that held that same fork of the Eel River much further north where it was an actual river that needed to be crossed, and then up along a ridge, and finally down a steep canyon to where the hot springs were.

The first thing that happened was out of nowhere my battery died going down to the river. There was nothing to do but coast the rest of the way down. We decided to set up camp at the river. The next day I rode into town on the back of my friend's bike with my used up battery and purchase a new one. We had breakfast while it was being charged up, and then headed back to the others at the river. The next morning we headed to the hot springs. Crossing the river was fun and quite challenging as the moving water was about two or three feet high.

The last leg was down maybe a 30% grade with switchbacks galore, and maybe an 1800 foot near cliff off the side. As I often did I got ahead of the rest. I came around a turn and the bike gave way under me. I slid to a stop just off the edge. I was uninjured. However, the bike had my lag pinned, inches from the tailpipe that was probably about 300 degrees. If I moved, I could just completely fry my leg.

When my friends came around the corner, due to the steep angle of the road, they couldn't see me 'under' the bike. Their first thought was that heffe went over the side! but then the next thing they heard was "Get this fucking bike off of me!". I was panicking and decided I couldn't wait for them. Somehow, I summoned superhuman strength and lifted the bike enough to get my leg out and I was free.

The rest of the journey down the hill was uneventful, and we parked at the bottom. We saw a car parked there. It was about a quarter mile hike to the hot springs. It was wonderful, and all the trials and tribulations I went through melted off of me as we soaked. The springs are not what I would call hot springs, more like warm springs, which was in a way better, because we could stay in them as long as we wanted.

It turned out that the occupants of the car were two middle aged brothers. They left a little before we decided to, and were still at there car when we emerged from the trail. They looked at us and at the bikes, and realizing what we went through to get down the canyon to the springs, said "You guys are Rugged!"

And that, my friends, is how we dubbed ourselves the Rugged Hooligans.