A Perfect Game

I've played approximately 1900 softball games since 2000. That's about 120 a year on average. A little embarrassing - how could I possibly have a life outside softball with that much time on the field and writing the blog, and getting players, and doing stats, and all the other trivial duties of being a softball slut.

Well, maybe I do or maybe I don't have a full life, but once in a while you play a game that is tense and dramatic, and tautly played, and you just wonder why it can't always be like that.

Tuesday night, Transdyn came into the game in the doldrums. One and four. One season after going undefeated and bumped up to the Upper League, we couldn't get enough players on the field, almost literally at times. We hung in there - we lost four games by a total of thirteen runs. We just couldn't turn the corner and play up to our abilities.

Sons of Pitches came in confident. Although they had a 29-29 tie with the Ringers, their other games (which they won) were not close. They are the token tournament team, they just come out for batting practice like many other teams that play the rec circuit. In this scenario, we could have just folded up and given it up.

Instead we played one of the tautest games we have in a long while. The game featured five lead changes - the cry of "Lead Change" rang out of both dugouts at times. In the end it was Tom shutting them down by mixing up front and back, short and tall, and in and out, and keeping them just enough off balance. And making great plays on the mound. You see they went up the middle far more than we did, even though later their SS was crying about it when Jason hit one off their pitcher's glove.

And the rest of the team made all the routine plays, and a couple of great ones - Brian made one of the ESPN highlight stops of the year deep in the 3-4 hole, and even nailed the lead runner at second. Cage threw out a runner gunning for second, but not sliding, by a hair. In the mean time, the Sons made a few gaffs, especially on the infield to gift us a few runs. In fact that was really the difference right there.

The Sons probably thought they had the game as they started to solve Tom in the middle of the game and plated four in the fifth and sixth to take the lead once again at 11-9. But after the middle of our lineup produced the game winning rally (to take the final lead of 12-11), in the top of the seventh he shut them down and even though we had the heart of the lineup coming up in the bottom we had no need for further heroics.

The big hits were booming doubles by Berto and D. Cage also slashed a double down the left field line, and Coop had a twister double over the right fielder's head to start a rally in the fifth. One of the highlights was a warning track sacrifice fly from D with runners on second and third. I was coaching third and I didn't bother trying to stop Brian coming from second - I could see the fire in his eyes that he was going to score - and he did. Two ribs for D.

But it was the little ball rally from Mark, Pauly, Heffe, Chopper, and Coop that finished the scoring to put it away. Everyone contributed in this game.

Afterwards you could tell players from both teams felt that this was one of those games in which it was great to have a part. And amazing things can happen if we could just get our team whole on the field - playoffs are not out of reach if we play like this every week.

Milestones:
9/8
Cage        500 h (#5)
Chopper   100 h (#22)

9/15
D              20 sf (#5)
Tom          100 h (#23)

Everyone's A Critic

The Snorts used to be the Duck Snorts. I guess they thought that Ducks didn't sound macho enough. Or Duck Snorts was too long to write out on the lineup card. Or maybe, just maybe, they read my blog last year when I suggested that all the teams with two words in their names replace the second with Schmutz. I guess Duck Schmutz didn't resonate with them - who knew? So now they are the Snorts.

I won't be mentioning any names, but suddenly I have a critic. It has been suggested that I should perhaps spend more time highlighting the defensive gems...after all, perhaps just as much as the Conehead inning, our trademark is that we play better defense than most teams, and as the cliche goes, defense wins championships.

Here I was sailing along with my high opinion of my clippings, and now I find that everyone is bored with hearing about Larry going 2-2 and Heffe hitting the weakest 3-3 possible (all singles, no runs, no RBIs) and watching in amazement as Chopper takes a bases loaded walk. For God's sake, that was the eighth wonder of the world.

So I won't be making a big deal out of Chuck's 3-4 with a game starting triple down the line...when Knight drove him in (with the first of his three hits) it set the tone and even though we gave up the lead temporarily in the second and the third, really our offense was consistent enough that no one ever had an doubt about the outcome. It's just not that important, right Chuck?

Nor will I make a big deal out of Pope's off field moon shot with the bases loaded in the fourth. The game actually was close at that point, and the grand slam converted a 9-6 lead into 13-6, and when we added three more that inning for a mini-Conehead inning (I can't believe I am not even that impressed with a seven run frame on this team), at 16-6 destiny really had solidified. The ultimate score was 17-9.

Oh and I can't talk about Bruce - we wanted to get him up again but time ran short - because he had the maxi-mini cycle. How many guys have a homer, a double, and a triple in their first three at bats, and just need a single to get the four pack? I told him he had to stop at first his next time up, and when I said that, we agreed that he was totally jinxed now. Not that we are superstitious. Luckily or not, he didn't come up again so I am off the hook for that one at least.

No, instead I have to reward the defenders who make the great plays, even though half the time I forget about them between coming off the field and the next inning due to not-so-early senility. But I do remember Chuck, a great dive up the middle and an out in the first inning that kept the Snorts off the board for at least the first.

And Larry made two tremendous stops that were on him in a flash on the mound - and he turned one of them into a double play. Although when a pitcher makes a great stop you are never sure if it was just pure animal instinct, i.e. self-preservation that took over. Nevertheless, great stuff.

But the play of the game was on a five foot batted ball straight back off the plate over Chopper's head at catcher. He leaped! and he grabbed and snagged it! We will have to change the Chopper to the Cleaper. Or Clopper? Or Cheaper? He already is the Cheeper back there behind the plate, with his jive. Popcorn! No Butter! Alley Alley! Cheep! Cheep!

There. I highlighted the defensive gems. I'm sure I forgot a half dozen but progress will come slowly. Please be patient.

Solid win on both sides of the ball really, though.

Milestones:

Pope        700 rbi (#1)
Larry        30 sf (#9)
Bruce       50 r (#29)
Bruce       50 rbi (#30)

Kiss My...Sister

One of the few bad things about recreational softball is the fact that we have a clock. Baseball is not supposed to have a clock. It's supposed to be played on lazy afternoons, when you need nothing else to make a perfect day, as long as the game takes. Someone walks away the winner, and someone the loser.

I know, old school, and all that.

But no, not in the city run softball leagues. Can't have the neighbors complaining about games going too late into the night. Can't have to pay the umps and field monitors OT. So we have the notion of a tie game, or as the cliche goes, "Kissing your sister." Not that there is anything wrong with my sister. She's great. It's just that her romance is with her husband, not with me. I don't even want to think about it.

Monday we tied HBF, in what was a very entertaining game that began at 9:15 - after some of our players' bedtime. The question after the game was who was more frustrated, HBF or us, because we both had our reasons to feel we blew the game.

We punched ahead with a relentless attack for the first four innings. By the time HBF came up in the bottom of the fourth, we had a 13-0 lead.

Not to last long. HBF put up eleven in one of those nightmare innings every team faces some time or other, and only a huge running deep catch by Pope kept us in front (I think it was that inning). In this case it was mostly their bats, not errors, that produced the rally. Yeah we had a couple of near miss plays that could have/should have been made, but they were hitting the ball all over the place. HBF kind of reminds me of young Coneheads - some of them produced flares to the opposite field while others smashed it deep. A smart team, a rarity among the younger generation.

The fifth came and went with no runs being scored. It was a tense game at that point. When we put up four in the top of the sixth, already known to be the last inning (damn clock), it was a decent lead but not that comfortable given what happened in the fourth.

The kept the pressure on. Runs were pouring in, and ultimately they had the bases loaded with one out, tie game with the winning run 70 feet away at third. All they needed was a decently deep fly ball. At that point Randy called for a double play ball to Chuck, and the HBF batter complied. Chuck was flawless, and Randy's turn and throw were perfect and the game was over, with everyone's sister in attendance. It was a miracle finish, not losing, at that point.

So who is more bummed in the end? We are the Coneheads, we think we should win every game, there is that. And we blew 13-0 and 17-11 leads. But ultimately we snatched the tie out of the jaws of defeat. There was some relief there.

On the other hand HBF wasted two huge comebacks with the hammer in their pocket, and couldn't finish the win. I'm voting for it feeling worse for them at the end. It will be fun if we face them in the playoffs. It's clear that these are two of the best teams in this league, and we both trail Cream and Clear, last year's champions by a half game.

D and Pope were the hitting stars. Pope blasted a monster three run job in the first to launch our game. D was perfect at 4-4 with a triple and a double. Chuck and Knight added three hits each, and the Junior Knight, although he made his first out at the plate, had yet another Moon shot way past the outfielders chasing in futile pursuit.

Milestones:
Randy        10 bb (#23)

Randy        10 sf (#23)

You Win Some, You Lose Some, Parts I and II

I'm trapped.

I'm like the rat in the cage, or is it hamster, the one who has that wheelie thing and keeps spinning and spinning on it, never getting anywhere. I start writing the blog, and it just spins and spins and spins.

This is because I have been spoiled all year, and most of my teams have been racking up the wins hand over fist. JFT sweeps the playoffs after going 12-2 in the regular season. Transdyn does even better: 12-0 and also on the way to sweeping through the playoffs. The Coneheads headed into the playoffs with four straight Orinda championships under our belts and on the heels of an inspiring win over Cal Bronco in the last week in which we broke out with 19 runs in the first inning.

Then it all unraveled in one lousy week, which since has stretched into two or three. I don't know how to write about losing. The journalist in me wants to single out the reasons we lose - just as I highlight the individual performances that give rise to our wins. But this is no good for team chemistry, who wants to read about their failures? And besides, you may not believe this but some of them are my own failures and I would have to take responsibility for those. Now we can't have that can we?

The one single thread in common between the change of fortune of the two teams, Transdyn and the Coneheads, is a common frustration: We have not had a full team on the field for either team for much of the last month. There are some injuries: Both teams lost the starting pitcher, Joe breaking his hand (and valiantly playing through the JFT playoffs) and Sir Guy with his degenerative knee condition. Reggie has been out for the year with his Tommy John surgery (and yes we miss you Sting), and there have been some personal issues that put softball in its place in perspective. But there have also been no-shows and people committing to playing and then not showing up. I know that not everyone has the level of commitment of those of us that are complete softball sluts, but it is surprising on teams this successful when there are so many no-shows.

Transdyn was bumped up to the higher D "Upper" league after going undefeated in the spring season. We are stuck in limbo land - too good for the lower division but perhaps not good enough for the upper. Or are we? Playing shorthanded, we started out the Fall League with a win, and even though we have lost three straight since, it has been by a total of nine runs. A player or two that missed the game shows up, and then we don't have three guys playing out of position, and just perhaps the result is different. So there is hope but we need to field a complete team.

The Coneheads - well let's face it, the playoff championship streak had to end some time. Just not like this: five projected starters missing the playoffs. You could feel the fall from grace in the air - it felt heavy like the hot muggy (for California) weekend weather for the playoff tournament. After winning the opener against the hapless Reds. we melted down in the Waitlister game. We all saw what happened, bad pitching and no hitting is an awful combination. Even with our two-inning wildness streak by three different pitchers, we only allowed nine runs, but on our end we scored six in the first two innings and then were shut out the rest of the way. What sucks is that the three long time rivals that more often than not have won the tournament (The Heads, Scouts and Cal Bronco) have cemented a mutual respect 'club' in this league and we all went down to the Waitlisters this year, who do nothing but nitpick the small stuff and this year at least managed to wear us all down.

You could tell we had no stomach for coming through the losers' bracket on Championship Sunday in our last game against the Broncos. This was just not our year. I can only think of one highlight worth mentioning for the whole day of three games - Gene made an absolutely tremendous catch on a long fly ball to left. He juggled it what must have been five times on the way to the ground and finally corralled the damn ball. It was truly remarkable concentration.

The beauty of softball is that we have the delusion that it will go on forever. There is always a new season and we started the fall season 0-0 like everyone else last Monday. We faced Pat's Bats - who I unapologetically say is not in our class when we are whole. But they beat us last Fall in the regular season and then again in the playoffs to end the Walnut Creek run of four straight championships - so we owed them and we played like it.

Chuck and Randy and a hobbled Lefty managed three hits each and most everyone had multiple hits. But the hero was one Patrick the Knight, son of Greg the Knight, who made his Conehead debut. He stepped up in the top of the third in a 2-2 game with runners on first and second, and promptly pummeled the ball, sending it nearly to Concord, like the shot heard round the world. Only Brandon Crawford hitting a grand slam in his Giants' debut tops this, but he took three ABs to get to that shot.

It went for the game winning RBI as well as it set the tone for the rest of the game. After we had a 14-3 lead in the sixth, Pat's Bats rallied for seven to make it closer, but the end outcome was never in any real doubt. We had the real Pat's Bat.

So there is hope for both teams - but please get back on the winning track for good. I hate losing, I hate having to write about losing, and really hate that damn wheel.

Milestones:
Transdyn
8/4
D            250 h (#12)
Bert        50 h (#35)

8/11
Brian       50 ab (#50)

8/18
D            50 2b (#6)
Pauly      650 ab (#8)
D            400 ab (#12)

8/25
Cage       120 2b (#1)
Monty     80 bb (#4)
Jas          250 r (#7)
Rene       150 ab (#27)

Coneheads
8/15, Game 1
Gene        550 h (#7)
Lefty        150 r (#19)
Haz          150 h (#21)

8/16, Game 2
Chuck      1700 ab (#1)
Ol' G        300 r (#13)

8/16, Game 3
None

8/24
Chuck        900 r (#1)
Chuck        60 3b (#1)

Larry          600 r (#3)

D                450 ab (#17)

Lefty           100 g (#19)Knight (sr)  250 ab (#26)
Bruce         100 ab (#31)

Lucky 19

Ommmmmmm...Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is the sound of Heffe meditating on the playoffs this coming weekend. After Monday's game against the Buddha's Cal Bronco, I'm thinking Zen Buddhism is the way to go. I'm meditating on the number 19.

But first...

Nineteen has been my lucky number since I was nine years old. Long story, but I won two straight bingo games at a resort on family vacation in Estes Park CO, in a room full of a couple of hundred people, on the number I-19. I think I won something like twenty bucks, a huge sum for a nine year old. Boxes and boxes of baseball cards could be bought with such a fortune. Therefore I wear number 19 on almost all my teams. Tony Gwynn, my hero, the master of the 5-6 hole as a lefty, wore number 19. But I'm not superstitious. Much.

Monday night the Coneheads erupted for 19 runs in the first inning. Every game I have to scramble to get enough players, and we are missing many of our best hitters, the rest of the team steps up, and uncorks a huge offensive output. Monday the buzz-saw hit our sometime teammate Buddha's team, Cal Bronco. On paper they should have out-slugged us - they have a veritable murderer's row in the middle of their lineup. They even exploded for their own big inning, a 12 run second, but it was not enough to overcome our great start. We ended the time shortened game (four innings) up 26-17.

Buddha, who plays with our alter-ego teams in the Fall League and in Spring in Walnut Creek, is married to one of my tribe (she's Jewish - does that make them a Bujew family?). This means he loves to suffer. When he talks about facing the Coneheads in the summer, he sounds like he is already beaten, and it is like Henny Youngman talking about his wife ("Take my wife...please!").

Monday he suffered an ultimate indignity. And I am not talking about hitting into a double play to end the first. He later received a walk from Doc Larry, on the mound filling in for Joe. Buddha strained a calf muscle while taking ball four. He had to have a courtesy runner, and invoke the Joe Fuchs rule (runner from home for the batter) his last time up with the game on the line. He smoked it, but right at Gene to end the game. Take my bat, please.

In between there were some highlights and a lot of hitting in the middle of the order. Chopper made a run saving catch - I think is was the inning after the Broncos twelve run outburst, and kept them at two runs in the third, and our lead intact at 23-17. That was as close as the Broncos got. We added on three in the top of the fourth. It should have been more but the Bronco's super star outfielder Patrick _ ran down a blast by Chopper and it limited the damage. However, with so much offense, time was running out in the bottom of the fourth. We shut them down on three easy outs to get the win.

A few more notes about the breakout nineteen run first: Bruce had the defining blow - his three run homer as the third batter of the game set the tone. Haz had two doubles, driving in three. Larry C had a critical at bat - he came up with two outs and four in and hit a two run single. It doesn't seem big now, but it opened the gates, after that we got twelve more two out hits (!), so we had 15 altogether. We may have had a couple of bigger innings but I don't recall ever getting 15 straight two out hits. Definitely need to channel that energy for the weekend playoffs. Ommmmmmmm.

Ol' G and D had perfect 4-4 nights with G driving in four runs. Doc Larry, Bruce and Heffe rounded out the guys with three hits.

Milestones:
Heffe        1500 ab (#2)
Ol' G        400 rbi (#7)
Haz          100 rbi (#23)

Flatheads

The facts:

Coneheads played Waitlisters Monday in a game between two of the four teams tied for first at 7-1 with two games left.

Coneheads for the most part comprise the JFT team that completed a victorious playoff tournament in Walnut Creek over the weekend.

Coneheads came out flat, and got flatter, and then ended in total flatulence losing 10-6.

The lone highlight was a total blast for a three run home run by Ol' G. On another night, I would be waxing poetic about the majestic qualities of his hit. Although a little wind-aided, it was probably the longest ball I have seen Ol' G hit in over 10 years playing together.

Only two others had multiple hits and there were no other extra base hits. While we singled St. Mo's to death the week before, we just died this week.

The good news is that we will be in the upper half seeds for the playoffs; cotton is awarded for the playoffs, not first place in the regular season, and there is no reason to doubt our ability to defend our four straight championships.

Milestones:
Joe          1250 ab (#4)
Gene        900 ab (#9)

It began with a kiss...

...and it ended in a group hug.

I was one of the first to get to the field on Championship Sunday. I wasn't that early, but I was third after Joe and Chuck, twenty minutes before game time. I suppose that is a sign of a confident, veteran team. Next to arrive was Chopper, and he came bursting upon me all smiles with Happy Birthday wishes. He gave me a big hug and then leaned in to kiss me (!). I was struggling, and panicked, and then I made the fatal error - I turned in! I was like the runner going down the line to first, and there was an overthrow but not too far, and he turned in and thought, "Oh shit, I turned in!" And gets tagged out. Well the next thing I know, I got tagged on the lips - and there was some sort of liquid.excretion - I think that qualifies as a French Kiss! It's a good thing we are not homophobic on this bus. Just know that a Golden Retriever has nothing on our Chopper.

But I got ahead of myself, it all started on Saturday morning...

Once the league actually settled on a schedule, the weekend started off with promise of an easy run. Arch-rival Advance Construction went down with a whimper as we slaughter ruled them in five innings 14-2.After Joe set them down scoreless in the first, we scored three with two outs to go up four zip. Bruce had the key hit, a two run double. In the fourth, starting with five straight hits, a mini-Conehead inning erupted for six runs. The highlight spawned a new rallying cry. Buddha tagged up at third on a medium deep fly by our fearless leader, and Chopper led the dugout: "Shake your Buddha, Shake your Buddha!" Great hustle, Scotty scored.

And then we awoke to Championship Sunday. I love the smell of birthday coffee and Cotton in the morning. After we watched Big Feet crush the Crushers in the early game, the Polar Bears overcame Big Feet's hot start and wont and then were gunning for us. They even drew home field advantage - I will never understand why the higher seeded team doesn't get it in each game in the playoffs.

Trouble was brewing. Our rock, Chuck, was hobbling around like the hobbit Bilbo Baggins at his hundred and eleventh birthday party at the beginning of Lord of the Rings. His back was tweaked in a major way. Well, no problem, we have Randy, normally at third for us but a born shortstop, and D plays 3B in most of our Conehead games anyway. We would survive even Chuck going down.

Well, go to the top of the second, still scoreless and Randy, leading off, does the two step shuffle as he hit the ball, and wrecks some muscle in the back of his knee and after gutting it out to make it to first, goes down in a heap, literally. He's done. Now we have to go to Johnny, also a very capable SS, but his hamstring has been tight all weekend.

It's the teams in the losers' bracket that are supposed to come up lame as they play in their fifth game of the weekend. We have had six innings in and we are already deep into the depth chart. The effect was delayed though as Randy kick-started (bad pun) our offense and we put up eighteen runs in the next four innings to win going away 18-4. The hitting was spread out as seven guys went 3-4. Now we got to rest and watch the Polar Bears tire themselves out against Big Feet and then try to beat us twice.

The Polar Bears just kept on getting more batting practice as they dispatched Big Feet. They were hot, hot, hot, and started our game by putting up four in the first against Joe, who by the way, as we know now, pitched all weekend with a broken left hand. By the third it was 7-2, and it seemed like we were the ones who had already played four games. Johnny was tightening up and switched with Knight at schmiddler, and Greg became our fourth SS of the weekend.

And then things started to turn. It started with defense, as it usually does. Bruce was playing shallow against one of the Bears who crushed a ball. At first it didn't seem like Bruce got a good break; this thing was travelling. But he hit his long-stride stride, and somehow glided out to the warning track and reached up and there it was. Runs saved. In successive innings I scooped one errant throw backhanded and then went off the bag for another and tagged the runner coming down the line. Both saved runs. In the top of the fifth Gene went sprawling in a dive to snare a blooper he had no business catching up to. More runs saved. Derek ended an inning falling down and stopping a shot down the line - and provided comic relief as he scrambled all over the bag to tag it while he actually had the ball in his glove. More runs saved.

Our offense had kind of disappeared, but Gene's catch inspired us in the bottom of the fifth. After two were out, Johnny got a hit - he led the team in hitting on the weekend at 8-9, bad hammy and all - and Haz walked to load the bases. Here was Joe's first brilliant move. He sent up Chuck to pinch hit for him. We didn't know if Chuck had any strength to even hit the ball. But he shot the 5-6 hole and two runs scored. When Lefty followed with another run scoring hit, it was suddenly only a 7-5 deficit and we had a shot.

When you come back from behind to take game, there is a moment when you know it's going to happen. It could be a little thing or a big thing. But in this game, it was the Dive in the sixth. A sinking liner up the middle with runners moving, Lefty came out of nowhere and in an ESPN highlight dive, went full length and caught the ball just before it hit the ground. I don't remember seeing another player in all my softball years extend that completely, horizontally. That's when we knew we somehow would not let the Bears extend us to an elimination game.

But it was not to be easy. Both teams went out in the sixth and the Bears in the seventh without scoring. In the bottom half, Chopper started out the rally, as he had all weekend, with a hit. He was 3-3 in this game and was just nosed out by Johnny for the playoff hot hitter award. And he led the team in hitting this year. After a flyout, Buddha and Johnny followed with hits to load the bases. Appropriate as these three were the team hitting leaders for the weekend. Up came Larry who along with Haz sacrificed their time in the lineup to platoon without complaint. He had had two ABs in two games to that point. So what happens? He's up in the most crucial moment in the playoffs to that time. He steps up and gets the Big Hit, a slicing line drive to LC, in the perfect spot to score Chopper and also Gene (running for Buddha) from second with the tying run.

Significantly the Polar Bear outfielder airmailed the throw home to try to get Gene and both runners moved up. This was crucial because hobbler #3, Johnny, was now the runner at third, and it would take a hit or a long fly to score him from third. But now we could put our rabbit Gene in again to pinch run. Naturally, Lefty came up knowing this and tried to hit the ball to Mt. Diablo. Predictably instead it was a very shallow fly ball, but Gene beat the throw anyway, and the Championship was ours.

Those are the highlights we all remember - because it was close, because it was a walk off 8-7 win, because it was the Championship game, because we were dropping like flies, because everyone had their moment. It had been a long time (2009) - and Pinky's or no Pinky's - it was sweet to get the Championship Cotton; it won't go straight to garage rag like the last several runner up shirts.

Milestones:
7/26
Gene       300 ab (#10)
D            100 h (#15)

D            10 2b (#16)

Bruce      50 h (#20)

8/1
D             10 k (#1)
Lefty        250 h (#4)

8/2 G1
Heffe        10 gw (#4)
Joe           150 h (#10)
Chopper   250 ab (#13)

8/2 G2
Knight       400 ab (#5)
Chopper   150 h (#11)