Schmutz

It's been a while since I've taken up the pen. I've got my excuses, my rationalizations. Mainly I've been waiting for inspiration, cause the Heads, no matter how great we play game to game, sometimes get into that great rut of win, win, win, occasional one run loss like a couple weeks ago by a run when we made a couple of uncharacteristic errors. Win again. Chuck makes the great dive into the hole; Derek hits the crap out of the ball, the Knight hits line drive after line drive. Pope dives and make a somersault catch (well that is new only because he is back from his hiatus - how great is that?). Lefty complains that we should throw a bone to the other team and then insults them by turning around to bat right handed and slapping a line drive to left.

But I needed an angle and it came from...mom. Mom who wiped my face when I was a little kid, when spillage was a regular part of eating, and like most babies, I wore my dinner on my face.

Here's the deal...Larry, my housemate/teammate/friend and I often go over the teams and where we stand and what we have to do, etc. etc. etc. Basic scoreboard watching but without the scoreboard.

And in this league we are reduced to talking about...the Dusty Nuts...the Duck Snorts... I mean who comes up with these names? And how are we supposed to remember the difference between them?

So I decided that from now on, all the teams with two names will have one name changed to...Schmutz. That's right. It rhymes with puts. No not putz, another Yiddish word, puts like in "We puts the Goat Schmutz out of their misery in four innings last week 26-6."

You might ask what is Schmutz? Well the Urban Dictionary has a few more plebeian definitions (look them up: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schmutz), but the basic idea is it's something dirty and greasy you have to wipe off your face, or some other surface. So Mom wiped the schmutz off my face when I was a baby. And later when I should have known better, bade me "Wipe that schmutz off your face" (and later "wipe that smirk off your face," but that's another story).

And that's what these teams are to the Coneheads, Schmutz on the road to cotton to be wiped away.

Our opponents will heretoforth be named Duck Schmutz, Badger Schmutz, Goat Schmutz, Dusty Schmutz, Wood Schmutz, and my favorite (this week's game) Mucca Schmutz. Dub MD gets a pass - they have been around a little while so we remember them by their given name.

Now we only have to remember one name for each team. Much better for old people.

And so after that tough loss against Badger Schmutz, where we outscored them 19-9 in the middle innings, took a late lead and squandered it to lose by a run after having the last outs in our reach, we took it out on Goat Schmutz.

You look at the box score and it was the total team win...nine guys had three hits, none had four. The Larry/Joe combo would have but they and Gene were the only positions in the lineup that only got up three times. Everyone that played the whole game had an RBI and a run scored - even Joe and Larry each were credited with a run. Gene and Lefty were perfect 3-3 (Lefty added a walk). Heffe led the way in a rare four RBI game, although he felt bad because it should have been six as he left second and third with two outs in the second on a groundout. Chopper had two doubles - in one inning - and we only had five extra base hits. Mostly it was get a hit, move the runner first to third, next guy drives him in, and gets the guy on first to third...over and over again. In the Conehead inning third (13 runs), we had eight straight hits, one out and then five more. Definitely contagious hitting.

With Badger Schmutz losing to WMD, it puts us back alone in first, and now it's up to us to keep it that way. Let's make Mucca Schmutz this week!

Milestones:
8/19
Gene        30 sf (#5)
Lefty        100 r (#21)
Markley   200 ab (#22)

8/26
Heffe       1350 ab (#2)
D             300 ab (#18)
Lefty        150 h (#20)
D             10 sf (#21)
Knight      10 bb (#21)
Markley   20 2b (#24)

9/9
Joe           400 rbi (#5)

9/16
Pope        550 h (#6)
Knight      30 2b (#18)
Chopper  10 bb (#22)

9/23
Gene        800 ab (#9)
Chopper  300 ab (#19)
Markley   150 h (#21)

A Rare De-Feat

On Tuesday we are not used to losing. We had lost just once this year, in the playoffs last season, going into last week's game. It's tough going undefeated, and we learned last season the playoffs are not the place to get your first loss.

So, being really good at rationalization, losing to the Brew Brothers last week was not the worst thing in the world. We had a really bad defensive inning or two, and got down 14-2 going into the bottom of the third. We came roaring back to close the margin to 14-11, and then our last inning rally came up short to fall 17-15.

The silver lining is that we never gave up. And we got Chopper back in the lineup - he only went 4-4 with a clutch two out triple in the second and a two out two run single in the seventh to bring the winning run to the plate. We couldn't finish, but it was a sign of good times ahead. Rene stretched a single into a double on his way to a 2-3 with a walk evening. Dizzy D drove in four, including the last one in the seven run fourth that got us back into the game. We had eight straight hits in that frame, and we never said die.

This will pay off, starting this week against the cellar dwelling BAHSBAT. Our loss tightened up the early race - six of the seven teams are either 2-1 or 2-2. Last season maybe was just too easy, nothing like a tight race to motivate you!

Milestones:

8/6
Cage        10 k (#4)
Dizzy D    10 gw (#8)
Rams       200 ab (#21)
8/13
Timmy      400 r (#2)
Rams        20 bb (#13)
8/27
Heffe        1200 ab (#2)
Pauly        550 ab (#9)

Walk On By

Sometimes I swear I am clairvoyant. Others call me deranged but that's a story for another time.

When the Oaks came up in the bottom of the sixth with us up four runs, I remember thinking, it wouldn't be so bad if they got the maximum five runs in the bottom of the sixth, because that would get through the bottom of the lineup, and use up their top and middle, their best hitters, and we would trail just one run going into the seventh. If we could re-grab the lead, then we would be facing the bottom of the lineup in the last inning.

There's two ways to look at what happened. One is I could see the future.

Or - lesson learned - you never wish for the opponent scoring. We came dangerously close to blowing this game, which we needed badly after a tough one run loss to the defending champs the week before.

But I get ahead of myself.

We showed a lot of character getting to that point. We were down 5-3 after three innings, and had left Chris on third after a leadoff triple. We then came roaring back as eight guys in a row reached safely in the fourth. the maximum five runs without recording an out. Big bases loaded two run hit by Tom.

So there we were up 9-5 going into the sixth. The bottom of the Oaks' lineup up. And there stood Big Ron. And by big I don't mean just tall. Ron has to be close to 400 pounds. We (Sir Guy, our pitcher, and me) have a lot of history with Ron. He's an umpire, has been umping in Pleasanton nearly as long as Guy and I have been playing there, which is like a hundred years. He never passes an opportunity to antagonize us, me personally. We never know if his bad calls are on purpose or just lack of judgment. Bill goes back even further with him - they coached against each other when their sons were in little league. The Hatfields and the McCoys (and if you saw him you would know what I mean).

Ron plays for the Oaks now. He can't hit the ball more than 50 feet, and he can't outrace a snail. I would make fun of him except for the fact I can't hit much further and can't run much faster. But at least I can more often than not fool the other team and get on base.

Not Ron. And there was Sir Guy, ready to induce a weak grounder out of him. But then -

Bill couldn't throw a strike. Ball One, Ball Two, Ball Three Ball Four. Why does it always happen to the best pitchers - they can't throw strikes to the weakest hitter on the opposing team.

And then - Bill still couldn't throw a strike. And he walked one, two, three, how many more? I think he walked in runs three altogether.

Now Bill and I have been playing on one or two teams together for 32 years. That is nearly a third of a century. As a stats slut, I can tell you that we have played approximately 750 games together - I have stats going back to 1986 on our teams. I have never seen him walk more than three in a game. Two in a game is a headline, three is a banner. Now he walks four or more in an inning, I can't recall the exact count, it was like the twilight zone, and time stood still.

So the Oaks get their one run lead, and Sir Guy is worried about the seventh. But we picked him up and got a three run lead in the top of the seventh. Could have been more but it was enough to play with.

People write poems about baseball because the game has such poetry intrinsic in it. Or maybe just that it reflects life. In the end, the Oaks got a little rally going, they scored one, and had two on and two outs. Tying run at first, and who stepped up as the winning run? Big Ron. He tried to draw another walk, but Bill was having none if it this time, Ron had to swing and took a mighty cut and hit a one hopper right back to Bill. Bill came to first with the ball himself, no way could Ron outrace him, in fact he had stopped when Bill fielded it. Bill may have wanted to take the out himself to rub Ron's nose in it, but truth be told, he was afraid of throwing it away with the sudden control problems he had. Game over, just another 13-11 win.

Is that poetry or what?

I've got to say, I saw it coming out that way the whole time.

Two by Threepeat

There is so much to say, and yet no words do justice to what the Coneheads pulled off last weekend.

The facts for those that may read this that weren't there:

It was the post season tournament. The tournament those of us on this team look forward to every year as the softball highlight of the year. We had won it the last two years as underdog one year, at least co-favorites the other. Before that we hadn't won it in seven years. We also had won three straight championships in our fall league in another town. Nobody ever said three-peat out loud that I heard - we knew what happened to the 49ers twenty years ago when Roger Craig said it.

We started the season 0-2, unheard of in Conehead land. We were dominated by the arch rival Old Scouts in the middle of the season for our only other loss. We had a lot of guys taking days and weeks off. Our hitting was down from previous years. But we got some momentum building toward the end of the season. A big win against the Cal Gaels, also one of the key rivals, to finish the season.

Then the league monkeyed with the tournament schedule at the last moment to put us against St. Monica's in the first round. And on the dirt field instead of the new turf fields, which kind of offsets our great advantage - our defense. And we have been snake bit by St. Mo's. Lost to them twice in a row the last two regular seasons and they are not that good. So we went out and laid an egg in the first game Saturday. It was not a rout, just enough mistakes to lose by two.

And then something happened - there was no more doubt about what we had to do: it was win or go home. We could all feel it, just plain resolve in the dugout. OK then - we will just have to win six in a row.

It's a funny thing how guys psych themselves up. Some are firm believers that you just put a positive spin on everything, and the more you talk positive, the better the results will be. And talk out loud. Some (not mentioning any Stink Eyes here) are mostly pessimistic, and you have to watch them - it could get contagious. I like to think I am somewhere in the middle - perhaps it's the early training I had as a journalist (old school now) - you just stay objective. In these games there is such an ebb and flow of momentum, you just never know how it will unfold until the game is actually played. Believe, but cautiously, you have to respect that the other team wants it too, and don't offend the softball gods by talking too loud.

Starting with a crushing of the Areolas, we built a huge head of steam - the hotter the fields got, the hotter we were. As I said, we just left doubt behind. We built a 15-9 lead, and then put on a Conehead inning on them and it was over. It was muggy, and we got the pleasure of heading up to Wilder for the remainder of the tournament, and turf which would get to 110 degrees on Sunday.

We had a rematch of our first game against St. Mo's, but this felt different. We know we are the better team - it was just about damn time to go out and prove it. A funny thing happened - I don't know if they felt it, or if the injury or two they had in their second game really took that much of a toll, but they just laid down for us. We shut them out weakly in the top of the first and then nearly batted around to go up 8-0. The rest of the game was eerily quiet, each team only scored three runs, and the drama was gone.

The big blow in that first inning onslaught was a twisting liner to right that got by their right fielder for a grand slam by Markley. You could make a case for Markley as MVP - he had another similar home run in game five to lead the team in HRs, hit .650 overall, and made several great catches in right center. And no one ran on his arm.

We came back in the morning knowing we had to win four more. We had never done it, and as near as I can tell only the Old Scouts have done it, at least in this century.

The third and fourth games were more of the same. Bay Alarm/Pennini's came out and scored three in the first. We answered with three in our half, shut them down in the second and third, and the bottom of the order started a four run rally in the third. The other unsung hero of the weekend was Haz - he started numerous rallies and hit .750 overall.

Our defense just wouldn't give up anything. I can't remember which game but sometime in the first games, Derek made a great stab on a line drive that was all instinct. And Gene gave it up and was nearly concussed in left field, hitting his head on the turf on an all out dive to get an out in one of the early games.

The Waitlisters similarly laid down in the second game of the day. We put up seven runs in the first two innings - a two run double by Dizzy D, and Markley jump started the second with the aforementioned second home run. Derek took over this game with a two run triple later to the deepest part of the park, and Chopper added a two run home run as the rout was on by the fourth. Chuck was 4-4 in this game, and our leader got hotter and hotter as the weekend deepened and the the weather warmed up. Joe was dealing - the Waitlisters were nearly shut out. We ended up sending them packing 15-1.

The stage was set. At this point I don't think anyone was tired. True the Old Scouts were in the driver's seat, but we knew what I have said before - they knew the road to the Championship had to go through the Coneheads. The pressure should have been on us, but it didn't seem that way. We were staying cool - partially because Chopper and Lisa had gone home and brought back a tarp that gave us partial shade in the dugout from the 100+ temperature.

The games were low scoring, as they always seem to be when it gets down to the wire. We scored one, they answered, we scored two (another clutch hit by Markley), they answered with one. In the third Ol' G (another MVP candidate, he ended up leading the team with 14 RBIs in the playoffs) came up with the bases loaded and two outs and promptly unloaded them with a gap shot for a three run triple. It was 6-2 and might as well have been called there. the Scouts seemed to want to just start the last game already. They made a partial last ditch attempt in the seventh, but went down 7-5.

So we got to where we wanted - to play in the last game of the tournament. It was rewarding to just get there, we worked hard to do it. I remember thinking on Saturday after that first loss that all I wanted was to make the last game, that would be enough. But after we seemed to lag and sag and the Scouts took a lead in the last game, it became clear that it was going to be brutal if we came all that way only to lose in the last game. It couldn't end that way.

A couple of key things happened to set up the great drama in the penultimate game. First, apparently the Scouts pitcher (who is on the short list of players we can't stand in this league) took offense to Johnny and Randy being friendly with us, because they are Coneheads now in the fall league. I didn't think even tempered Johnny was capable of getting that hot under the collar - but there he was scuffling between games with the pitcher. They had to separate them. I don't like to see people fighting, but you had to chuckle to yourself - the pressure was getting to them.

As I said, though, the game has to play out, and we allowed a four spot in the second, and were not hitting at all. The sun had finally taken its toll on these old Cone-men. We hit into two double plays in the first two innings.

And then it happened - Larry, who had been snakebit the whole series, either not getting pitches to hit, or mostly hitting line drives right at everyone, was really struggling. But he came up in the top of the fifth and blasted a turf home run, to break the ice, and when he broke up the shutout, you could feel the tension release in our dugout. Larry, the reigning Mr. Conehead, truly stepped up. If I was having the luck he was having to that point, I would have been down, but he just kept his eyes level, and dragged us out of the doldrums.

They scored two more and actually won the inning but you know what we did. Batted around for our last and most necessary Conehead inning of the playoffs, got up on them 9-7. It wasn't over, but a shutdown inning in the bottom of the sixth had us believing once again.

We tried desperately to get some insurance runs, but our TEAMMATE Randy made a great diving play to squelch our rally in the seventh. We had to make our two run lead stand up.

And the Scouts got the tying run on first and the winning run at the plate in the form of the pitcher who wants to fight even his own team. A very good hitter, can hit the long ball. With one strike he hits a very loud foul ball down the left field line over the side fence. Whew. And then Joe comes up with the closest thing you can get to a fastball in slow pitch softball, and WHIFF, sit down, meat. the next guy anticlimactically hits a deep fly to right where Derek is standing, and Cotton is OURS.

It's always easy to say that the latest championship is the sweetest, but it certainly applies now. This one was the one we worked for the hardest. Everyone contributed. I didn't single out too many players, because we all had our moments.

Two do stand out. One is Gerry, who sat out the last day, because he felt he was in a slump, and it would help the team to have fewer in the lineup and he wasn't contributing. I still disagree with him - he is one of the most consistent hitters I have ever seen, and if he slumped Saturday, it probably meant Sunday he would have been 10 for 10. But I respected his choice, and I have even more respect for him today than I already had, and that was a lot.

And if we had to pick an overall MVP, it has to be Big D, Heavy D, Dizzy D, or just plain Derek. Every team out there feared him more than any other Conehead (or any player for that matter), and for good reason. He only made three outs the whole weekend, had 19 hits including legging out six extra base hits on his hobble knee, and even took it out to right field and made one great catch running in, and didn't miss a thing there or at first when he platooned with me.

But it belongs to all of us - enjoy this one, it will be hard to top.

And a side bar - Our venerable shortstop, he who likes to dive in the hole, got his 1000th hit as a Conehead in the Waitlisters game - quite an achievement. It indicates the loyalty of being a Conehead for that long, and of course even moreso, tremendous talent for hitting a round ball with a round bat squarely. Of course this is only since 1997 in the beginning of Conehead recorded history - Chuck no doubt had quite a few before that as well. For this achievement and for what he means to us on the field and in the dugout, he was named the first Conehead Captain. That's right - I give you our new leadoff hitter Captain Conehead 'Chico' Chuck Howlett.

Roger Craig jinxed the 49ers when he said the magic word three-peat, but we don't have to worry about that now. This fall and any future Cotton are just icing now.

Milestones:
Game 1
Joe            60 2b (#10)
Derek        20 3b (#14)
Haz           100 h (#24)

Game 2
Gene         70 bb (#8)
Knight       100 r (#20)
Derek        150 r (#17)

Game 3
Knight        10 gw (#10)

Game 4
Chuck        800 r (#1)
Larry         1150 ab (#4)
Lefty          200 ab (#20)
Markley     100 rbi (#22)

Game 5
Chuck        1000 h (#1)
Chopper     30 hr (#7)
Haz            50 r (#27)

Game 6
Haz            50 g (#24)

Game 7
Knight        200 ab (#21)

Bombs Away

OK I have to admit - I came this close to calling this post "Licking the Nipples."

I gave the game ball to our own Sting on Monday night. I didn't realize until I did the game stats that he wasn't the only one who had a monster game offensively. Two home runs, four RBIs.

Lefty also had two bombs. Gene was hot,  4-4 with the fifth team home run on a gapper combined with his speed. Larry had a Conehead triple and led the team with five RBIs. Knight was a perfect 3-3 with a walk and including another three bagger. We had more homers than triples, and more triples than doubles.

But it was Reggie who stole the show because he added two great catches to his repertoire. On one he was like a bolt of lightning crossing into the path of the ball to cut off a gapper for the third out of an inning. Joe nearly came to tears. "That was the best catch I've ever seen him make!" he cried. No one could tell if he was serious. Poor Joe - tries to give a compliment and everyone is expecting the Stink Eye to be lowered at any moment.

At any rate it causes me to burst into song. As we all know, Reggie is going to miss the playoffs, this time with no hope of rescue from the desert of Fresno. So we have this:

Where have you gone, Reggie Dra-akeford,
The Coneheads turn our lonely eyes to you.
Woo-woo-woo
What's that you say, Joseph Stinkeye.
Bolting Sting has left and gone away,
Hey hey hey.

We will sing it in Pennini's champagne if we win the damn thing.

Areolas gave us a run - they had us 6-0 after one, 8-3 after two, but three straight Conehead innings (8,7,7) took care of business, which is to say despite the Areolas improved record this season (coming in tied with us at 6-3), we still own them. The final score was 25-12.

It's a strange year for us. The Coneheads are hitting .577 as a team for the season. Fifth worst in the 28 seasons of stats we have. And yet, we are hitting our stride at just the right time. We finally are learning to hit in the fogdome at Wilder. We are starting to hit the gaps and put together the trademark Conehead inning, multiple times per game. Our defense has reverted to our usual solidness after some shakiness early.

We all know the playoffs are the only thing in this league but with only half the games reported so far from Monday, one very interesting result stands out: Bay Alarm 15, Cal Gaels 9. That's Pennini's over the Broncos to us. What that means is that with a win over the Gaels Monday we can leapfrog over them and into third. And with a small miracle the Old Scouts could lose one and put us in second.

It doesn't matter much - we have to just be at the top of our game in the playoffs. But it is about seeding somewhat, and it is about bringing that doubt into the Gaels in particular, should we face them again in the playoffs - you know the Buddha feels like we have had their number most of the years. They are looking vulnerable right now like we were a month ago.

So everyone Show up Monday - Don is out, and Chopper is doubtful with his injury. Lefty that means you. Despite your flippancy, we know how you love a competitive game. So be there. I don't want to have to write a song about you too.

Milestones:

Lefty        10 gw (#9)
Haz          150 ab (#25)

The Sun Is Shining

We have a new VP of Sales where I work. He is very gung-ho. Fist bumps abound. He is a good guy as far as sales guys goes. He may even bring the company to the promised land of success and plenty. He lives to work - to make deals, and to win. I probably would have done better in my career if I invested that kind of energy into my job. But I work to live - not the other way around. I don't get like that until I am on a softball field. I love to win. As my dad taught me, "it's not whether you win or lose - it's how you win."

I'm on three teams that finished playoffs in the last month.

One went 12-0 in the regular season, and blew it against the fourth place team. Simply put, we choked. But we had a lot to celebrate - the undefeated season, great team chemistry, and we know we will be back.

The second team is in a league with the equivalent of the Boomers in it. We are a very good team. We lost five games last year, including double elimination playoffs, and four were to them. This year, we lost the opener to them and then reeled off eleven straight wins. In the last game of the regular season, we were down to them, 11-2 after 2 1/2 innings, then scored 25 unanswered runs to win going away. In the second game of the playoffs we shut them down and won 8-4. It was all set up for the upset; they would have to beat us twice on the final day. Well, they beat us once by six, then they blew us out in the penultimate game, 26-8. That hurt.

Which brings me to Sunshine Saloon. We had a season of promise - we improved. Started out 3-1. But we couldn't close out games and lost (or even tied) close ones down the stretch and finished fourth, and only three teams made the playoffs.

Or was it four? They added a playoff game, and suddenly we had the honor of getting drubbed by the Boomers so they could have batting practice for the Championship Game to follow.

Except that's not what happened. We gave them everything they could handle. We got behind in the first, but answered with the max five in the second (Reg with a huge Grand Slam) and took a 10-5 lead into the bottom of the third. They tied it up and then defense kicked in. They barely beat us in the end, by one run, 12-11. If we had just gotten a couple more key hits, we could have won. They were on the run.

It was not to be. But it is said that we took it out of them and they lost the Championship game to State Roofing.

I have never felt as good losing as in that game. It was almost as good as taking them down completely. We are on the rise, and they better watch their backs.

And Dad, better amend that saying. Sometimes, sometimes, it is how you lose that counts.

See you Wednesday.

The Usual Victims

Last weekend was a tough weekend for JFT, which is now essentially the same team as the Coneheads. We had the highest mountain to climb - beat the Grand Pinky Poobahs of Walnut Creek Senior League in the playoffs. David and Goliath and all that. We gave them a scare - winning the last regular season game with 25 unanswered runs and then taking our first game against them last Saturday to set up a Sunday in which they would have to beat us twice - which of course the history books will tell you they did. It hurt. We had perhaps our best chance, certainly our best to date, and we couldn't close it out. Wait 'til next year.

In the mean time, the Coneheads are getting near the end of the regular season as well. We have been very up and down - fortunately we are not the only team. But we needed something to ease the pain when we took the turf Monday, and the scheduler was kind - they gave us the Usual Suspects to cure our hangover. These poor schleps are one of the handful of teams in the Orinda league that keep coming out every year to win once or twice against the other poor schlep teams, and then go home. Good for them, I respect that. Couldn't do it, but I respect them for it.

Monday night was the Usual Crushing. We scored twenty runs in the first three innings before they could even crack the scoreboard, and the end result was 25-1 before they cried uncle (score was reported 24-1 but does it really matter?). The defensive highlight (besides a couple of the Usual Chuck gems), was when a guy tried to go home on a delay 'steal' with two outs (why wasn't he running?) on a grounder to short - Chuck made a rare offline throw to me at first, and although I was heads up to get the ball off quickly to home, it was Gerry that made the great play. With my sore candy-ass arm, all I could do was one hop it to him on the turf, and he gathered it into his body and held on. It would have doubled their run output.

The rest was all Conehead offense. Sting had two booming home runs to the right center gap. The first was legit. In the case of the second one, the 'gap' was the right center fielder, who really couldn't catch anything. Reggie sheepishly said 'I'll take it' when he came home, and yes we will, any time. Gotta love the turf, cause when the fielder blows it, it's really blown. Conehead!

Ol' G continues to be the hottest hitter on the team - he matched Sting's blasts with one of his own. Sting and Markley led the team with a perfect 4-4, but G and several others had three hits - Lefty and Chopper (both with two doubles), Dizzy D and Chuck. Nice to see Markley regain his stroke to right - Mexico must have done him some good. Someone else should have been 3-4 with a walk but we'll get to that.

Lefty now leads the team with average batting the opposite way - in his case of course righty. Although, ahem, there is an asterisk. Another lefty on the team, not mentioning any names, hit a clean 'single' to left right handed, and Dizzy D, must have been in awe or something at second base - he watched it get to the left fielder and tiptoed into third only to get forced out. The Conehead Unhit.

But the batter's not bitter, much, because now he knows he's better and fitter than Derek. And Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter. And he has this forum in which to vent. Really? Really? Really!

(Footrace anytime Derek, I would have to say that besides the 70 year old with two knee replacements, you are officially the slowest on the team).

(Now Chopper, don't be bringing up when I did the same thing to you).

Ok, I'm better now.

So we come to the last two games of the season, and due to several teams inconsistency, including us, it is quite a race, at least from third to seventh place. We are now tied with three teams for third place, with St. Mo's just behind. some of the interesting results:

St. Mo's beat Cal Gaels in one of the earlier unreported games. They have had some season - they have beaten us, the Gaels, and the Scouts, but lost to the Areolas and the Reds.

The Gaels beat the Waitlisters Monday. They are now tied for first with one loss. This leaves the door slightly open for us to get to first. Realistically the Waitlisters, who have the easiest finish will not lose two. But if we win out we have a chance to pass the Gaels (Broncos). The Scouts will probably end up at least tied with us, and they have tiebreaker so they would probably end up second.

There's more but I won't bore you with it. Including a very interesting tie-breaker rule if head to head is even unique to this league. The main thing is we need to continue to build a Head of steam going into the playoffs, and it starts tomorrow night against the Areolas (eight o'clock at Wilder ONE). They are also 6-3 this season but they haven't played many of the top teams, and they finish against the Scouts, so it's time to put them behind us. Then we will deal with the Broncos, er Gaels.

No Chuck this week. Will be strange.

Milestone:

Chuck        1500 ab (#1), how appropriate, why don't you take a day off?